


The Forbidden Kingdom

by Ellisama



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest Spoilers, M/M, No Deeprealms, Political, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 77,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellisama/pseuds/Ellisama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Conquest // As the world tries to balance itself anew after the war, four people try to find themselves in their new position. For Xander, the crown on his head is heavier than the sword in his hand. Sakura has trouble coming to terms with the loss of her siblings as well as her new position as first princess of Hoshido. Kamui is firmly trapped in the middle, caught between the hero of Nohr and the traitor to Hoshido, a struggle that does not end with the war like she hoped. Somewhere, in a distant realm, Inigo mourns his wife, and tries to raise the two children she left him. </p><p>But even after the dust of war has settled, one question still haunts them all: What possessed Garon and Takumi in the first place, and what happened to Azura?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. King on a Dark Throne

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a political interpretation of the conquest verse, so there will be quite a larger deal of court politics and less flashy swordplay. The central issue of the story is life after Conquest, and the fact that to some extend, the threat that looms over all of them has not been stopped just because the war has. Is it too late to fix things, especially without Azura? Only time will tell.
> 
> Now, enjoy the Forbidden Kingdom! We're in for a wild ride, friends.

 

 

> **_Xander_ **

The orchestra began to play another waltz, and dozens of figures cut a slow eight shape over the flagstone floor of Castle Krakenburg. Among them was Peri, Xander’s last remaining retainer, dancing with more grace and nobility than he had thought her capable off, though her smile was a bit off. His siblings were not too far away, sometimes stealing a glance at him. Xander pretended not to notice while seated on his throne. It was his prerogative as King to refrain from joining them for all but the first and the last dance of the night, and while normally he would take the opportunity to speak to one of the gathered nobles, tonight was one not one of those nights. The light was low and hot on his skin, his decorative military armor too large and uncomfortable to dance in.

It was not the suit of armor that accompanied him during the two and a half year war against Hoshido, for that had become like a second skin. No, after his coronation several months before, his advisers had deemed it better for foreign relationships to provide him with a new one, one that did not bear splatters of blood from the late prince of Hoshido. He had not been able to argue with that, and accepted his new uniform, albeit grudgingly. It was too grand for his tastes, just like the crown on his brow, heavy compared to the circlet he had worn ever since his father had gifted it to him in his early teens. As the King of Nohr, he supposedly ruled by divine right, preceded only by the great Anankos himself. But the effigy above the throne did not speak to him like it had spoken to his father, and he found that his so-called advisers in reality had a large amount of political power which they wielded from their shadowed council room, ever in his name.

Tonight, one of them waltzed with his sister. Camilla's dress was far less revealing than her battle armor ever was, but rather than looking comfortable in the soft purple silk that complimented her hair, she seemed to find the excess cloth bothersome. Perhaps, Xander observed, it reminded her of her mother, and he could not blame her for her distaste.

They all sought to be an antithesis of their parents, though perhaps Camilla to a greater extent than himself. When he came of age, he had surprised court by refusing to take a mistress, like his father had done so many times before him. Instead, he took on more duties, spent more hours in the library and even more on Kamui’s rooftop in the Northern fortress, forever perfecting a sword that had one day deemed him worthy of something that he had been too young to grasp.

His father had been kind during his younger years, doting even, but fidelity had never been his strong suit. As a second son of the legendary King Siegbert, Garon had never expected to come into power, and when he did, he had been poorly educated in how to wield it. It didn’t take long before he spent more and more nights in the pleasure capital, willing to share his newfound power with whomever wanted to share his bed. What resulted was a string of mistresses, an even larger line of royal bastards, and a political war that raged on between the favored women of the King which lasted for almost ten years. It had left Leo scarred, desperate for love yet too afraid to ask for it, and Camilla a little too eager to bestow hers upon everyone who dared to come close to her.

The adviser in her arms was not one of them; despite her sweet smile, Camilla's distaste for him was palpable in every move she made. Yet to the public eye, she remained the perfect crown princess of Nohr, pleasant yet distant. If his armor had been any less uncomfortable, he would have risen from the dais a long time ago and tapped the man on the shoulder, perhaps reminding him that his sister was not only a formidable warrior, but also far more than a chess piece in his latest grab for power. Nevertheless, Camilla danced with one foreign dignitary after another, all with the same grace with which she handled politics, her own circlet proudly presented on her head at all times. Court duties were exhausting for the both of them, but formal balls like these were as much part of running the country as war council meetings were, perhaps even more so during peacetime.

The war was over, and Nohr no longer demanded the royal family to raise a sword, an axe or a tome. Instead, they were required to lead a good court, and by extension, a good administration. It was a tiresome duty to a man who had been born, bred and shaped by a war he despised. It was for the sake of that precious, hard-earned peace that they would endure.

Many rebelling territories had regained a partial autonomy upon Xander’s succession. Their local rulers gained near absolute control of their lands, but still had to pay fealty to the throne of Nohr. It was a mere formality compared to the heavy taxes his father had levied upon them, but for many, it was still not enough. Formal balls like these were the only times where all lords and ladies of the realm where gathered at the court of Krakenburg at the same time. More treaties had been finalized and shaken upon in the back of the rowdy ballroom than in the council’s antechamber, and for his country, Xander would gladly suffer a thousand more of these stiff occasions if it meant that their peace would last a single day longer.

Tonight was not hosted in honor of his coronation, it was Elise’s debutante ball. The war had glossed over her sixteenth and seventeenth birthday, and since her eighteenth birthday was mere weeks after the end of the war and the death of their shared father, they had not deemed it proper to hold the long postponed presentation back in March. His littlest sister, always determined to look at the bright side of the situation, did not share his discomfort. The war had taught her a some maturity, which she could occasionally summon at parties such as today. She looked positively radiant in her many-layered white and red dress, though it was a bit too mature for his taste. Then again, he had held her in his arms the night after she had been born, her own mother too obsessed with his father to care for the crying newborn. He doubted that he would ever be able to see her as anything but the baby he had rocked in his arms that night, but it couldn’t be helped. Tonight he had officially presented her to court, as their father should have done upon her sixteenth birthday. She was now of marriageable age, and as soon as had taken her by the hand and led her down the steps, he could see several lords prey upon her for her title and connections. Not one, not two, but as many as five men twice her age had carefully suggested a match before the end of her first dance, but Xander had politely denied them all; royalty they may be, and perhaps his sister would marry for Nohr rather than for love, but he would be damned before he would give her away to anyone who was not worthy of her.

Camilla shared his sentiment, and carefully seduced many suitors away from their youngest sister to join her on the dancefloor. All it took was a look, a few carefully chosen words, and they were hers to mold. Camilla was the greater boon to those who merely saw princesses as a means to an end, but she had breathed court etiquette since she could speak, and played them expertly. Not unlike her mother had played their father many years ago, before Leo’s younger and more vibrant mother had come to replace her.

His youngest brother was never too far behind Elise. Leo had grown during the war, filled out in ways Xander had not expected him to. He would never comfortably lift a greatsword the way Xander could himself, but the light katana that was gifted to him by his vanished retainer had fit in his hand like a glove.

Kamui led him through the steps of the waltz with more grace than he could have ever suspected from a young woman who had been locked up for most of her life. The lace of her white and black dress dazzled in the light of the candles, his brother’s uncertain hands on her waist bringing a teasing smile to her lips. Leo had checked several times already whether or not his collar was inside out, although more discreetly than he had done so in the past. Nearly two years of fighting side by side gave them an easy companionship they had lacked before from Kamui’s isolation, and Xander was glad that at least they seemed to be having fun tonight.

“Or perhaps something more.” A bemused voice chimed up from besides him. The seat next to him, intended for a queen, was quickly filled by Camilla. Until he choose a wife, it was her rightful place at his side.

“Was I thinking out loud again?” he whispered to her, trying to stop the blush from spreading to his cheeks. Despite that they were not blood-related, Kamui remained his little princess, and it was strange to see her potentially wedded to his younger half-brother.

Camilla smiled discreetly behind her hand, well-aware that their hushed conversation was in the minds of many guests tonight. “Only to those who speak your language, dear brother. You were eyeing our little Leo and Kamui a bit too intensely.”

Xander frowned, his eyes straying once more over the dancing couple. There was a sway in their steps, and it seemed like they were at least enjoying themselves, even if Kamui hadn’t been exactly overjoyed to wear shoes for the occasion. “He should dance more with Elise. It’s her day.”

“Perhaps he is waiting for you to do the same, Xander,” Camilla chided with a delicately arched brow, and suddenly the somewhat strange looks Leo had been sending him made a lot more sense.

He coughed in his hand, hiding his grimace. “Perhaps later.”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport. You can’t save the last dance for her, there are at least four more foreign ladies that require your attention, not to speak of Kamui and myself.”

Without his consent, his gaze fell back upon Kamui and Leo, who seemed to have found their rhythm. It was Leo now who was smirking as he whispered something that made Kamui look directly his way. For second their eyes met, and he was back again on that day on the Hoshidian Plains, where she chose to side with him over her blood brother. He quickly averted his eyes, allowing them to fall on the Hoshidan princess. Sakura was too unaccustomed to the national dances of Nohr to join in with the dancing, or perhaps too reserved. He should honor her with a dance at the very least to pull her out of that corner. Perhaps then Kamui’s brow would stop dropping every time Sakura entered a room, and his own stomach would stop aching unpleasantly. Yes, he resolved, it was perhaps for the best.

“Well then, I better get started then?” he said to Camilla, conceding defeat. She smiled delightfully and allowed him to pull her to her feet, giving the world the pretense that it had been his idea all along. “After you, Camilla.”

The music stopped playing and the couples made room for them on the dancefloor. This was the distance the world granted the King of Nohr, and while he was used to it, it never ceased to feel lonely.

“Try not to step on my toes this time, dear,” Camilla whispered into his ear once the orchestra set in a new song, one more formal this time, and he seriously contemplated doing so just to spite her. He counted to three, and turned to the rhythm, Camilla gracefully turning along with him. A hum of approval could be felt through the rest of dancing couples, who quickly joined their King and heir apparent.

In the flurry of billowing dresses and quick steps, at least they could speak privately. “Has any good match come forward for Elise?” she asked while he moved his feet in between hers, and twisting them around once more.

“Hardly. But she is young, give her time,” he whispered back, knowing that she had already known his answer long before he spoke it, and wondering why she asked in the first place.

Her smile was nothing short of a fox. “Perhaps you should be the one giving the right example here, Xander. After all, it would be shameful for the youngest to marry before her older brother, especially since you’re fifteen years her senior,  don’t you think?”

Her statement made him lose the rhythm Laslow had so expertly drilled into him. He nearly stepped on Camilla’s foot, but managed to gracefully recover just in time. Three measures passed before he found his voice again. “Nonsense. Nohr is falling apart as we speak. I hardly have time to play house while I rebuild this kingdom from its ashes.”

Something cruel twisted in her lips, but her smile never wavered, nor did her hand on his shoulder. “I never said that you had to play house. You of all people should know that a Queen is as much an instrument of power as a sword is, _dear brother._ ”

He twisted her around a bit more harshly than the dance required of him. “Excuse me, perhaps it is my tendency to see women as humans rather than tools that blinds my vision, _sister_.”

“If only all Kings could be as chivalrous as you, Xander,” Camilla retorted without missing a beat. “Then perhaps women such as myself could stop using you as a tool for our means as well. You’re no longer a crown prince, Xander, remember that.”

“That duty now falls to you, I suppose,” he countered, perhaps cruelly. But they had seen each other through the worst and everything that came after, and if he could be truthful to anyone, it was her. “I could find less worthy heirs, sister.”

“My my, such praise!” Her voice lifted up, and her smile along with it, but her eyes were as dark as they always were. Jaded was the word that came to mind. His eyes flashed towards Elise, who was happily dancing with Silas. At least some of them had been spared. When she spoke again, her voice was dark, but no less caring. “But we both know, that for the good of Nohr, a queen at your side is just a matter of time.”

There was a sway in her step, even with his arms around her. “How much wine did you have? You’re very liberal with your statements tonight.”

“Perhaps a few, but definitely a less than you should have. I know you disliked our father’s love for women, but that does not mean that you have to wholly forsake them. We’re not so bad once you get to know us, you know?” She dared to wink at him, and now he was certain of it. She liked to tease him, but never as much as this.

Still, she had a point, as much as he despised the thought. “I’ll look into it, if it will please you.”

“It will. However it would please me more if you would dance with your sisters first. Poor Leo must be very tired by now, and he has been complaining about his bad knee for weeks now.”

 _Has he?_ Xander almost asks her, but doesn’t. Despite his promise, Leo does not speak about his problems to him. The war had brought them closer together, but his coronation and elevation to king had undone whatever closeness they enjoyed. Leo was twelve years his junior, and while he was responsible for the distance between them, he often wished to rekindle the friendship they had shared during their early years.

“Not in so many words, of course. You know the boy.” And yes, he knows Leo, everything from his favorite book to the sorrow from the loss of his younger retainer, but at the same time not intimately like a brother should. His many faults, all lined up to glare at him tonight. And though he despises the battlefield, he can’t help but admit it was gentler to his ego.

They danced for another few paces in comfortable silence. Camilla’s eyes never strayed long from her siblings, like a mother looking after her young. He suspected it was the only reason that she was still here at court, sometimes.

When the music finally came to an end, Camilla bowed and approached Elise, but not before gently pushing him into the direction of Lady Sakura. He hesitated, but only for a single step. Any woman he would dance with would be considered a potential spouse, and she was still _so_ young. But he straightened himself and pretended the staring masses were made up of bunnies once more, and approached her. Camilla was right, as she often is. He has obligations to her, even if the many noblemen who never fought side by side with him do not understand his reasoning for approaching the young girl.

 

He found her in a dim lit corner with a fruity-looking drink in her hand. Yukimura stood besides her, much like he did in battle, and her retainers not too far away either, but it is not them that attracted his attention. For the occasion, Lady Sakura wore a dress nothing like the puffy gowns his sisters wear for these formal balls. Instead she had donned a traditional kimono, not unlike the one Queen Arete wore sometimes during her short reign as queen, but it not the garb itself that surprised him. It’s the color. Like his own armor, she is dressed fully in black, but no details of gold and purple compliment her skin. Instead, five tiny white symbols are spread over the back of her dress. Had he not studied their culture as a child, he would not have recognized it as the mourning kimono it was, and a new kind of shame filled him.

“May I have the next dance, Lady Sakura?” he asked her despite the feelings swirling in his gut, keeping his voice steady and kind. She was a small woman, but his towering height did not seem to impress her. Xander had faced her brother in battle, and was not surprised.

She glanced around a few times before she muttered politely, “I-if it would please you, I would be h-honored.” Her words were kind, but to those raised within the formalities of court, it was clear as day that she would have preferred to stay at the sidelines. Regardless, she grasped his outstretched hand, and allowed him to lead her to the dancefloor. The next waltz was slow, a small mercy for a woman unaccustomed to Nohrian dance styles.

“Just lean on me, I will guide you through the steps.” And he quickly showed her where to position her hands. For a second, it felt like Elise all over again while he carefully guided her through the steps with a gentle touch. As a woman of battle, she adapted quickly, and did not step on his toes even once.

After the steps became routine, she dared to take her eyes off their feet. “This is most k-kind of you.”

Again, a silence stretched between them, but not the comfortable kind he shared with his sister. With every step and every twirl, the weight on his chest intensified until he could no longer breath without gasping, and the words spilled out without any decorum or control. “I know that this is not the right time, but between your duties, mine, and the eyes of the court, I honestly wonder if there will ever be a better time than tonight for me to apologize, so please excuse my bluntness.”

Her eyes lit up from their daze, and just like that the perpetual stutter was gone. “Whatever could you apologize for, milord?”

“Many more things than I could ever find the words for.” His words were quiet and solemn, but they rang clearer than any he had ever spoken to her before. As a King, he bore the crimes of his people, but as a son, he bore so much more. “But my father’s behavior first and foremost. At the time, I understood his supposed reasoning. Surely you must have heard of our food shortages, the famine that plagues our country more often than not. I truly believed that the need to feed our citizens was his reason for war.” There had been more reasons: glory for Nohr, unity through war, and the validation of his father’s right to rule, but those had never been the reasons why Xander raised his sword in the first place.

Her eyes were wide, and he sighed deeply before continuing. “But it wasn’t, and it should not have taken two foreign princesses and the death of your brothers to see the truth of what my father was. The blame of my ignorance rests fully on my shoulders, and you more than anyone else had to suffer for it. So, Lady Sakura, while this moment of privacy allows me it, I would like to offer my sincere condolences for your brothers. They died honorable men, that I can assure you,” he offered, the very picture of High Prince Ryouma’s sacrifice in his mind. If Kamui made a different choice, he sometimes wondered in the loneliness of the King’s private chambers, would it have been him? Would he have been strong enough to make the sacrifice?

Princess Sakura was unaware of his struggle in the light of her own. Her eyes dropped once again to her feet, and her hand trembled slightly in his. Her smile wavered, but only for a second. “That….. pleases me,” she said eventually, and met his eyes for the first time with something that might have been forgiveness.

He shook his head slightly in the face of her selflessness. “No it does not, and I understand that losing a mother and two brothers before coming of age is not something I could ever make amends for. But I can try, here and now.”

Something akin to a giggle escaped her lips, taking him so off-guard that he almost steered them too close to another dancing couple. Sakura followed him, already a master of the steps. “I’m grateful for your words, milord. But it was never you whom I held responsible. Instead of your apologies, I would rather you would swear upon your honor to ensure that at the very least during your reign, such atrocities will never happen again.”

Her smile was kind but her words were stern. Did she not believe his resolve to reform Nohr into a peaceful nation? He looked at her again, from her jet black kimono to the bags underneath her eyes. Would he have believed her, were their roles reversed? Not with as much grace, that was for certain. And with that thought in mind, he nodded. “Then that is my vow, Princess Sakura.”

“Thank you milord…. And also for this dance. You are surprisingly light on your feet,” Lady Sakura remarked with a kind smile. The hint of a stutter returned to her voice, steering them far away from darker topics.

“A retainer of mine – or should I say a former one – was a gifted dancer. When the war became grim, he would give us all a pointer or two. It never failed to make us smile.” He often wondered were Laslow went, for the kingdom of dark days and even darker nights could use a smile like his from time to time. Not for the first time tonight, he pushed Laslow from his mind, and twirled Sakura around once more before the music and their conversation came to an end.

“Thank you milord.” Princess Sakura curtsied like a Nohrian princess when he delivered her back safely in the hands of Yukimara, and returned the gesture by bowing deeply to her in the Hoshidan fashion.

 

Before another lady could approach him, Xander’s eyes settled on Leo, who had taken a seat in a nearby corner rather than on the dais reserved for the royal family. His remaining retainer, Niles, stood beside him like a watchdog, his eyes unabashedly sliding over men and women alike. Xander pretended not to see it when he greeted him. “Little brother, how is your knee?”

The smug smile Leo had been sporting disappeared like snow in July. “Wha -? How did you know?”

“Camilla told me. You could have mentioned it to your other sister as well perhaps, I’m certain Kamui would have been glad to allow you a small respite.” For no more than four carefully measured seconds did he allow his eyes to follow Kamui’s dancing figure, this time in the arms of Silas, her longtime friend. The smile never wavered, but there was something unfamiliar in her eyes.

Before he could mention it, Leo groaned loudly. “After all the times I stepped on her toes? I honestly doubt it, brother.”

There was a hint of a flush on his cheeks that might be entirely contributed to the glass of wine in his hands or the way his retainer continued to stare at the husband of a Nohrian duchess, but Camilla’s words from before  were still in his mind. Then, he suddenly had an idea. “Will you be fit to ride tomorrow?”

“Why? I wasn’t aware we needed to go somewhere tomorrow,” Leo said, inspecting his armored gloves with little interest.

“Not us. Lady Sakura is returning home tomorrow, and it would be a good gesture if we send one of our own along with her to further cement the relationships between our countries.”

Leo’s eyes widened almost comically. “Surely you don’t mean...”

“Don’t make such a face, Leo. Kamui intends to go as a diplomatic liaison, and while I do not question her ability as an ambassador, I honestly would feel better if you were to accompany her. Last time, the people of Hoshido did not treat her so kindly. The war is over and we have made our peace, but the populace has the memory of an elephant, and our sister the heart of a saint. I fear she would not even defend herself, should the need arise.”

He could never quite read Leo’s thoughts, but he imagined they were quite like his own: a memory of peasants hurling insults at theirs sister, and their father’s violent reaction to them. Leo seemed to mull over his words before eventually agreeing with strange smile on his lips. “Very well, brother. Although, after that little dance of yours with the princess, I believe you should be the one to accompany Lady Sakura to her homeland, not me.”

“What do you mean by that, Leo?” he asked, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

His brother’s tone was nothing if not amused. “She has been looking like she was attending a funeral ever since she arrived here, not a single smile. I honestly doubt I am the only one who saw her light up in your arms. People will talk.”

For not the first time this night, Xander was shocked to silence. Under his breath, so no one could overhear them, he muttered, “She’s nearly half my age, Leo. If anything, she reminds me of Elise.”

“It didn’t seem that way,” he whispered back in a conspirator’s voice. Xander sighed deeply. He did not regret his words, nor the manner of his speech. But perhaps it had not been the correct manner to approach the princess. Leo was right though. A quick glance in the Hoshidan delegation’s direction revealed that for the first time since her arrival last week, the princess was speaking animatedly to nobles outside of her own entourage. Maybe it was his own sister’s enthusiasm, or their shared age, but he wondered that perhaps, in the future, Elise and Sakura could be something akin to friends. The mere thought brought a smile to his face, even though he had taught himself to stop holding on to such hopeful thoughts a very long time ago. This was where they fought for: peace, and the possibilities it brings.

To Leo, he said only this: “I will be more careful from now on, before Queen Hinoka flies all the way over here to accuse me of stealing away her sister as well.”

“Was that… a joke?” His brother looked at him frantically, and even Niles seemed to be interested in his words, an odd look on his face.

It was almost insulting. “Stop staring at me, I am perfectly capable of humor.”

Leo wasn’t buying it, and he quickly motioned a maid stationed in the corner to bring them a glass of water. “Perhaps you should lay off the wine from now on, Xander.”

“Funnily enough, your sister said the exact opposite not too long ago.”


	2. Strangers in a Familiar House

> **_Kamui_ **

From her many history lessons back in her days at the Northern Fortress, Kamui knew that Nohr had long been a collection of states that had been loosely organized into a federation-like kingdom over the years. It hadn’t always been this way, but her history books had little else to say about the mythical origins of the kingdom of Nohr other than tall tales about Dragons and Kings. Even her tutor had found it unlikely that the royal family truly descended from the great dusk dragon, regardless of their ability to control dragon veins. All the land west of the bottomless canyon hadn't been under Nohrian rule for many generations until her supposed great-grandfather Siegbert led a unification movement under a banner of divine conquest.The nation of Nohr was forged with steel and blood, and it had been ruled with an iron fist ever since. Hoshido, the land of her birth, could not be any more different.

Every street they passed through on their way towards castle Shirasagi breathed a certain ancientness, as if every stone had been there since the very beginning of time. People did not halt their daily activities to cheer the return of their princess, though Kamui wondered if that wasn’t due to her own defection to Nohr. Sakura rode ahead of them, Yukimura never wavering from her side. Kamui was pleased that Leo had decided to join them at the last minute, or else her voyage to Hoshido would have been very lonely indeed. Niles was not the most appropriate company for a princess, but at least he was willing to speak to her from time to time, unlike Sakura, who was a stark contrast to his chattiness.

When they had conquered Hoshido, the cherry blossoms had been in bloom. Now, the trees were no longer colored vibrantly pink, nor did her youngest blood sister dress in such colors anymore. She could not claim to have ever really known Sakura, but all of Azura’s stories made her out to be a lively girl with an open heart. But the girl that rode ahead of her was nothing of the sort. Perhaps it was shyness, the long journey or the fact that her brother could look extremely condescending if he wanted to. Leo never strayed far from her side, but his eyes were rarely on hers. He acted as if they were going to be attacked at any moment, and they darted around, inspecting every corner.

“We’re almost there,” he said after yet another villager had shouted her name with ire. None dared to say more than the syllables of her name, but they did not need to add insults to make her feel the bitterness the Hoshidan people carried for her, every letter of her name a drop of poison on their lips.

For all his vigilance, he did not seem to appreciate the sunlight warming their skin, nor the beauty of the Hoshidan capital. The statue of the grand dragon had been rebuilt, her shadow Yato pulsing of delight in its sheath in tune with her own heartbeat.

When they did arrive at the capitol, Queen Hinoka stood waiting for them on the large staircase. Her white and gold ornamentedkimono shimmered in the dying daylight, but her smile was the brightest sun of all. Their mother’s crown stood high on her brow, but underneath all the traditional garb and ceremony, she was still Hinoka, the warrior Princess, and she seemed happy to see them.

Only the three years of warfare kept her from launching herself off her saddle and flying into her older sister’s arms. There were traditions to be upheld, and she was no longer a princess of Hoshido. People would no longer excuse her childlike behavior with an indulgent smile, as Camilla reminded her before they left. As a child, Kamui hadn’t seen how much of a front Camilla put up on daily basis, but after those words she wondered exactly how many of her generous smiles were forced and which ones were genuine. _Never show them that you’re feeling anything less than composed and pleased to be there. Those sunlit rooms of beauty and splendor might make you feel like letting your hair down, but for the sake of our beloved Nohr, you need to be on your toes at any time_ , Camilla had whispered.

Her eldest blood sister had smiles to spare, at least. Of her entire entourage, Hinoka seemed to be the least stiff out of everyone present. Silas helped Kamui slide gracefully off her horse, more out of formality than anything else, but she felt grounded with his steady hand in hers ~~.~~

Camilla had been wrong. Shirasagi no longer felt like home because it only reminded her of Takumi’s death, his last words forever ingrained in her mind. She wondered how Hinoka could sit on that throne and not remember what exactly had transpired there. Did the blood wash out of the carpet, or had they simply replaced everything? Did Hoshido even have the funds for such an expense? She made the mental note to inquire about their financial status. The war had been economically draining on both nations, and Nohr had found it prudent to cover the deficit with the contents of Hoshido’s coffers. _The spoils of war_ , an adviser had said sagely, and although Xander’s brow had been furrowed, he had nodded in approval regardless of what his honor had dictated about the matter. He regarded his country before his pride, he had sworn on the day of his coronation. He had yet to falter, and Kamui wondered if he ever would.

Hinoka welcomed them with a shallow bow befitting a Queen while her subjects bowed deeper for Sakura, and less formally for herself and Leo. Had she not spend several weeks in Hoshido before returning to Nohr, she would not have noticed. If Kaze had not shifted slightly behind her, she might not have recognized the insult for what it was. She remembered Camilla’s words, summoned her most pleasant smile, and curtsied like a Nohrian born and bred noblewoman.

“I welcome my sisters back into my castle. Princess Kamui and Prince Leo of Nohr, may you lack nothing during your stay here.”

“We are most pleased to be invited with such open arms, dear sister.” Kamui echoed formally, and Leo nodded politely with her, his own greetings as carefully calculated as hers.

A few more introductions were made before they were issued into the large garden, the golden lanterns under the tall summer trees illuminating the formal affair. Low tables were lined up in a square, with one of them lifted higher above the rest for the queen and her favored guests. More than one brow was raised with thinly concealed disapproval when Hinoka led her and her brother to her high table, placing Kamui on her left. Sakura, as her heir and only other remaining sister, was seated on her right. Kamui had hoped that Sakura would dress in radiant colors like a girl her age should, but she did not change out of her dark kimono even for the celebration.

Hinoka opened the banquet with a few short words, none of which were delivered with Xander’s grace from Elise’s debutante ball a week earlier. She kept fumbling with the hem of her dress while she spoke, and she was often a bit too loud. The people applauded her regardless, and Kamui thanked her repeatedly for her generosity. Then, the musicians started playing an indescribable music that mingled with the wind’s roaring and sighing as it swept through the flutter of the leaves and lanterns above her head. In the waning light, castle Shirasagi seemed to have fallen straight out of a fairy tale, with beautiful dancers reminding Kamui of Azura with every fluid movement of their hands. The only thing that did not belong to a dream was the churning feeling in her gut, and the two chairs that were kept respectfully empty for the queen’s fallen brothers.

Like a ton of bricks, the depth of the choice she made three years ago on the Plains of Hoshido finally hit her. By choosing to side with her adopted family, she had, in a sense, disinherited herself from this beautiful world made of sunshine and plentiful harvests, and none but the queen would ever forgive her for it for the rest of her days. The war between Hoshido and Nohr might have ended, and yet, she never felt so threatened in her life.

This is why Camilla had counseled her not to go in the first place. Kamui had been angry, claiming that she still thought of her as a little child who could scarcely do more than fight and look pretty. She might have been naive, but dealing with Iago and King Garon had taught her something about diplomacy, and she had been furious at Camilla for thinking otherwise. But now she understood, while eating the most bountiful feast she had eaten in perhaps all of her days, blessed with a music that seemed to be the song of heaven itself, that it had not been out of pity or spite. It was out of love, out of kindness. Perhaps, she thought with a heavy heart, she wasn’t as grown up as she thought she was.

“How was your journey, sister?” Hinoka asked quietly once dinner was served.

 _Terrible_ , she wanted to answer, but didn’t. “It was pleasant to see the villages, they seem to thrive in the light of the summer.” Which was gentle way of saying that the scorch marks of war were less visible than they had been the last time she visited the countryside, that time armed to the teeth.

Hinoka did not seem to catch her meaning, and Kamui was glad. “You should see them during the harvest season! The festival at the beginning is a delight above all. Promise me you’ll visit me again around that time? I’ve always dreamed of showing you everything you missed during your childhood.” For a second, her eyes darted to Leo, the unwavering dark presence beside her, who was trying to contain his utter delight for the tomato-flavored dish in front of him.

The genuine gaiety in Hinoka’s voice made Kamui want to agree, but she swallowed her immediate response and quickly fashioned a new one, one that Xander would have approved of. “It would be my pleasure,” she echoed with her brother’s voice in mind, “but I have duties as a princess of Nohr that prevent me from making such an arrangement this early in the year. If my dear brother and king allows me, I will join you.”

“I’ll send him a letter if he doesn’t,” Hinoka whined grumpily. Sakura elbowed her not too discreetly under the table, and like snow under the Hoshidan summer sun, the expression was gone from her face.

Before Kamui could stop herself, a giggle passed through her lips, making Hinoka look at her in surprise until the realization that she knew exactly what had just transpired, and she turned bright red. For a second it almost was as if they were seated at a private family dinner table. Under her breath, she whispered, “How are you holding up, Hinoka? Be truthful with me.” She did not have to point at the empty chairs to indicate what she really meant.

Her blood sister swallowed, her eyes downcast. “Your company takes my mind off my sorrows, sister. But I can’t say that I am fine. Not yet, at least. At nights like this, I can’t help but remembering the past. I...” Whatever she was going to say never passed her lips, an unspeakable taboo at an already uneasy dinner party. Kamui did not press her, but rather brushed her hand over her shoulder. It would not do to embrace her like sisters should, to cry together for two men whom she would never get to know, but damn it all to hell did they both need it. Before she could give in to impulse, she retracted her hand, and Hinoka sent her a grateful, but sorrowful smile that said more than a year's worth of conversation could.

After that, Hinoka was the very picture of sophisticated grace, but Kamui wondered more than once if the voices that haunted her own dreams also visited Hinoka at night. The brick in her stomach sunk even deeper at the thought, but her smile never wavered until the sun had long set and the dancers had retired, and the queen herself guided them to their bedrooms.

It shouldn’t have hurt Kamui that she was not assigned to her childhood room, but instead she was given a large, moonlit bedroom without any distinct characteristics that could have made it feel homely. The sheets were a pale yellow, the walls a boring white, and the ceiling a nondescript mix of both colors. The wooden floor beneath her feet creaked with life with every step, but only near the door. The rest of the room was a puzzle of tatami matts, only interrupted by the paper thin walls behind which the servants moved around like ninjas, their feet only making the tiniest of sounds. If it hadn’t been for her enhanced senses as a dragon child, she would not have noticed them at all. She certainly hadn’t seen them the first time she visited the palace. Had their eyes always burned into her back like this?

“So you hear them too. Didn’t think you would, sister,” Leo whispered when he slipped into her room a few minutes later, his eyes narrowed. Niles slid the door close behind him soundlessly, and settled contently in his lord’s shadow.

“How did you know?” Kamui asked tiredly while she carefully undid the formal braid to shake her long hair loose. Next off came those damned shoes, the very bane of her existence.

Leo laughed silently at her sigh of satisfaction when she stretched her uncovered feet into the humid summer air. “Your ears twitch when you’re focusing on a certain sound. They used to do that all the time when Camilla sang usbedtime songs, remember?”

Oh how she remembered those better, or perhaps just more carefree days. The war was over, she reminded herself, and between Xander, Hinoka and herself, she knew it would not flare up again for _at least_ another two decades. Was that not worth the pain in her heart every time her former countrymen scorned her very existence?

Leo took her silence for an affirmative, and mercifully changed the subject. “Do you ever wonder what happened to Azura?”

“Every day. She’s never far from my mind, truth to be told. I can’t explain it, we had so little time together, and yet there was always something that bound us. Something stronger than blood.” Her last words tumbled from her lips like a revelation, an admittance to a truth she had secretly always known, but had never spoken out loud. For Azura to abandon their family on the eve of their victory was a betrayal that still stung deep, even months after the fact. They had never heard from her again, and with her husband and children also vanished from the face of the earth, Kamui honestly doubted she ever would.

Leo, of course, was unaware of her inner turmoil. “In a sense, she was a sibling of ours, and that makes her a sibling of yours as well by laws of adoption.”

“It was nothing like that. She was too distant to be a sister, yet too comfortable to just be a passing acquaintance,” Kamui whispered back softly, shaking her head in denial. Perhaps it was foolish to think that the many servants of the castle could hear their private conversation if they sat close to each other and spoke in hushed tones, but for some reason Kamui knew that she would not be able to speak the words in any other way. “And, I suppose there are the things she said sometimes when she thought I couldn’t hear her.”

“Such as?”

Azura was a guarded person, but sometimes she would get lost in her song, and whisper things that no other living soul could make sense of. “Sometimes she spoke to herself of a Forbidden Kingdom, like the one we visited through the lake. Though she never quite mentioned what it was called...”

“Wait a second, did you say you two visited a kingdom _through a lake?_ Are you sure you weren’t hexed?” Leo hissed back, his eyes narrowed with a strange mix of concern and disbelief.

Well, if he put it like that, it was strange. “Positive. That’s where we found Gunter, after all.” Her words were firm, showing nothing of the doubts she had felt many times when it had been only her and the light of the moon filtering through the curtains of her room in the astral realm. “It was a most peculiar place, and she asked me not to mention it. With the war raging on the way it did, I had almost forgotten about it.”

The way that Leo’s eyes widened at that revelation would have been comical at any other moment. He pulled his hand through his hair nervously, until his circlet came off and he found his words. “ _Stop_. You’re telling me that the two of you visited another land that we know nothing about, and _you forgot?_ ” he demanded, disbelief in his eyes. She nodded meekly, feeling like a child under his gaze. “Honestly, Kamui, is this your idea of a joke? Because if it is, it’s done in very poor taste!”

She sighed deeply, and straightened her shoulders. “When we returned, Azura showed me father’s true form. That was enough of a shock to wipe that inverted mythical land off my mind for quite some time.”

That shut him up quickly enough, reducing him to shocked silence. Mentioning their late father so casually tended to do that to him these days. When he spoke again, his voice had become quiet again like the castle itself. “So you knew all that time? For all those years?”

“Yes. Often, when the sword in my hand became to heavy with the blood of my countrymen, it was the only thought that kept me sane, the knowledge that this bloodshed had a purpose,” she admitted with a heavy heart. “Did you really think I could have accepted father’s cruelty like you and Xander if I hadn’t needed him to trust me to sit on that empty throne?”

The guilty look on his face was not worth the feeling of absolution her words brought her. Quietly, he put the circlet back into his hair and played with it until there was not a strand out of place. Behind him, Niles watched her suspiciously like hawk.

“I don’t know,” Leo whispered after a long pause, sounding more like a child than he had in many years. “Sometimes I look back upon those bloody days in the fields of Hoshido, and wonder what I was thinking half of time time. Why we didn’t see what father had become before the very end.”

His head dropped, but not low enough to hide the tears of guilt in his eyes. He was barely twenty, and was already ridden with the mental scars of an old warrior, she thought over the sound of her breaking heart. Before she could stop herself, she pulled him into her arms. Normally, he would have sputtered against her embrace, but maybe it was the unfriendly territory, or the eyes in the walls, but for a full minute, Kamui held him close to her heart, and pretended not to hear the way the sobs caught in his throat. When they finally untangled, he was once again the second prince of Nohr, inscrutable and so very composed. She wanted to laugh and scream, but most of all she wanted to tell the world that deep inside, he was only a little boy who had grown up too quickly for his own good. But he did not show his tears, and so she did not speak about it.

Instead, she whispered. “Do you ever wonder what made him into the creature he was at the end?”

“Constantly,” he admitted in a single breath, his voice still heavy with the unshed tears of regret.

“I thought I was the only one,” Kamui whispered back just as unevenly. “Takumi, too. He was dead, and at the same time his corpse stood before us. Like a faceless, but more dangerous. We defeated him, and yet I can’t help but wonder...”

Leo looked at her with large eyes, waiting for her to finish that sentence. Their family never spoke of that fateful day in the castle, of the destiny that bound them together tighter than blood. It was a taboo inflicted out of kindness, but only now did Kamui realize that the silence had festered, and with it, her doubts.

With a bravery that she had thought to have long lost, she said, “I can’t help but wonder if I really fulfilled the Yato’s chosen destiny by ending the war. If defeating the thing that possessed father and Takumi was truly the end of our quest.”

It wasn’t Leo who spoke, but his ever faithful retainer. His voice was as rough as usual, but his single eye was a dangerous mix of promises and approval. “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to admit that out loud, Lady Kamui.”

 

* * *

 

 

_**Inigo** _

After Xander’s coronation, they allowed themselves to stay in Nohr one more week. Any shorter would have been disrespectful to their comrades-in-arms, who had risked their lives and limbs for their sake more than once during the three year war with Hoshido. Any longer, and they would not have returned at all. Despite the homesickness that consumed him from time to time, Laslow could not deny that the five years they had spent in Nohr had made the country and its people very dear to him. To see his liege sitting on the rosethorn throne was worth all the blood he had shed in his name. In the five years he had served him, Laslow had the pleasure of watching Lord Xander grow into a wonderful man and worthy king, and despite his best efforts, a dear friend. He knew that Severa and Owain felt the same way about their chosen lieges as well.

They had endured turbulent times in Nohr, but eventually the years had been good to them, but all good things must come to an end. Odin and Selena spent one last week serving their lieges while Laslow searched high and low for his wife with a feeling of dread sinking deeper and deeper into his gut. Their relationship was one he had pursued against his better judgement from the very moment he had heard her beautiful singing. All it took was one word and he was bewitched, and it wasn’t long before he had made her his. He found home in her arms, and for the first time in years, the homesickness had vanished.

Their following marriage in autumn was a partnership of secrets. She did not pry into his past and he did not ask for hers. Barely a year after they had first met, she bore him their son, Shigure, and in the following year, their summer child, Soleil.  Her pregnancies had been tough, especially during the wartime, but they had managed to build a family in this desolate land of darkness and betrayal, and he had entertained the thought of staying by her side after the war. Odin and Selena had disapproved, naturally, but in the end they had kept their silence in the name of his happiness, prepared to part if it was truly what he desired.

That had been the plan up until the very end. On the eve after the final battle, Azura came to him, their tiny daughter clutched to her chest and a grim look of determination on her face. The entire camp was celebrating, but she was pale. “What’s wrong, my lovely?” he asked while inviting her to lie down with him. Soon, they would return to her home, and they would be able to give their children the life they had both been denied. In the wake of their victory, he had been too swept up with joy to notice that she did not share his thoughts.

“I can’t come with you, dear,” she said as she carefully caressed her sleeping child’s forehead.

Though he had never explicitly promised her anything, he had known for many years that her duties as a princess would never allow her to abandon her kingdom, and so he put up his most blinding smile and hid the pain of never seeing his family again deep inside his heart. “I know that. I will stay with you in Nohr.”

With an unreadable expression on her face, Azura shook her head. “I…. would have loved nothing more than to share a thousand more nights with you here, to dance with you to our never ending song. But… this is my end.”

“What do you mean?” Laslow took her hand in his, guiding her to sit next to him on their shared army bed, careful not to wake Shigure, who liked to sleep in between the two of them on nights like these. Her body was frailer than usual, and she gave in to his pull immediately, landing ungracefully. It was only then that he noticed the glassy look in her eyes, the way they couldn’t seem to focus on anything in particular. He pressed their foreheads together before she could protest, surprised to find it alarmingly hot. “Azura! I’ll get Lady Elise, you’re burning up!”

“Don’t… bother,” she stuttered with a forlorn smile that never quite reached her eyes. “Laslow, my song… it comes at a price. And I’m behind on my payment, so to say.”

“What do you mean?”

She had said more than that, he could remember, but no memory of her words remained as the truth caught up with them. A monster of fear formed in his chest, clawing at his heart at the very thought of losing yet another loved one. When she stopped talking and her eyes rolled into the back of her head, he regained his senses, just in time to catch her falling body. “Azura!”

“Shhh, you don’t want to wake the camp. I’m dying, love. There is nothing you can do about it.” She spoke brokenly when she opened her eyes again, firmly nestled in his arms, with only their two sleeping children between them.

His eyes went wild. “What? How?”

“I can’t explain it, Laslow, only that it’s happening.” She sighed, every breath a labor, and Laslow knew that despite her brave front, she was in a lot of pain. With a strength he did not know she possessed, she unclasped her precious pendant. He had seen it shine a bright blue light during their final battle, but it seemed as dull as the look in her eyes right now. “Please, give this to our son when the time is right. Teach him my songs, and tell him of what happened to me. It’s his birthright.”

She dropped it into his lap and crumbled into his arms, her heartbeat racing furiously against his own. “Slow down, Azura! The fever is making you delirious, you’re not making any sense! I’m going to get a healer, now!” he cried frantically.

“No, you won’t,” she said stubbornly, refusing to move an inch. He knew that tone, it was the one that had convinced him to marry her in the first place, despite the fact that she was a foreign princess in a dimension not his own. She would not bulge, and even if she would, it wasno use. Everyone that wasn’t high on victory right now was most likely exhausted to the point that not even the second coming of the possessed King Garon could wake them. Last time he saw Elise, she could barely lift a healing staff from sheer overuse.

“At least lay down,” he pleaded to his stubborn wife. “I won’t call Elise now if you promise me we’ll visit her first thing in the morning.” It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do right now.

“Perhaps you’re right, some sleep won’t harm me.” Her voice was light, almost lost in the wind, and she allowed him to help her settle down in between the flimsy sheets. Azura pulled Shigure against her chest, whispering a broken song into his hair before meeting his eyes again. “Tomorrow is brighter day, a day of peace. Make sure our children reap all the benefits of what we fought for, Laslow.”

Who could have ever refused a request of a woman with eyes like hers? “Of course my love, but only if you promise to be right beside me.”

“I love you too,” was all she said in return, and it wasn’t until he woke up the next day without a trace of her that he realized that she had never promised to stay before they drifted off into a well-deserved sleep. In the days that followed, he searched high and low for her, but nobody had seen head or tail of her ever since the end of the war. With each passing day, it was as if every trace of her being was erased from this world.

But in the end, nothing he did mattered, and deep inside his heart he knew that she was gone. He could have spend a lifetime inspecting every single patch of land that Nohr and Hoshido had to offer, and he would never find her. With every passing second the realization settled into his mind, and with it came a feeling of intense hollowness, as if a glass window separated him from the rest of the world, preventing him from feeling the wind in his hair and the warm sunlight on his skin.

Odin and Selena - no, Owain and Severa - understood. They had mourned their parents, their country and their future. They knew the look in his eyes, and did not need to offer more than a few words.

One week after Lord Xander’s coronation, they gathered up their children, packed their bags and slipped out of the castle with little more than a letter to explain their sudden departure. It was better that way, Severa had said with a hitched voice, and tears she would not shed. On the morning of their departure, a rare cloudless sky greeted them, and they basked in the glory of the Nohrian morning sun one last time.

Then, carefully pressed together, they released the orb and with it magic that bound them to this world in the first place. There was a great wave of light that engulfed them all, and when he dared to open his eyes he was greeted with the familiar sight of the ancient Mila Tree, five long years after they heeded Anankos’s call. His old clothes felt strange on his back, and he didn’t need to check to see that his hair was a light shade of blue.

And just like that, he was Inigo once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! I hope people got the references to the Tale of Genji. Once more, many thanks to my beta @mairbelles, also to be found as newmrsdewinter on AO3. Go read her fic as well!For a historical explanation of elements, go to my tumblr 'ingrimasname'. 
> 
> Next Chapter: Sakura looses her cool and breaks her silence. Kudos if people can guess what will happen!


	3. Cold Wars and Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is an end to Sakura's grace and forgiveness. Flora impresses a prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again beta'd by Abby! Thank you very much, you're wonderful!

>  
> 
> **_Sakura_ **
> 
>  

Sakura rose at daybreak, the light of the sun just rising over the hills and filtering through the air, painting the landscape into a dazzling sight she had sorely missed during her diplomatic visit to Nohr. A servant appeared from behind the fragile wall, and quietly left behind a washed and folded kimono. Sakura dismissed the man with a nod, and allowed her hands to glide over the silken fabric. It was black like she requested, but the stitching was of silver and pink, leaving delicate flowers on the dark garment. When she lifted the many layers of fabric, it fell between her fingers like a waterfall, reminding her of rain on a warm spring day, of archery lessons with Takumi in the morning, and calligraphy with Ryoma in the afternoon, and one of Azura’s bedtime stories before she went to bed. It reminded her of everything bright and beautiful and long gone, like those wonderful childhood days. Her knees hit the ground before the kimono, a stream of tears was quick to follow. There was nothing like the gentle chirp of birdsong to remind her that they would never share a dinner together like that again.

She composed herself quickly. None of these tears were new, and neither was her grief. She pulled herself back onto her feet but left the kimono on the ground. When she returned from the hot springs to dress herself for the day, the new kimono that waited for her on her bed did not contain a single stitch of sunlight. With practiced ease she put on layer after layer of fabric, each one a different shade of the night sky. The people gossip impudently about anyone of exalted stature, and Sakura knew that people would frown at her choice of clothing. Three months for a brother, that was the designated grieving period. But as they approached the fourth month, she had yet to abandon her mourning garbs.

Hinoka, as a queen, was not allowed to have the luxury of extended mourning.  _ If I can’t move forward, how can our country?  _ she had said. Sakura saw the wisdom in her words, she really did, but it did not stop her from keeping her closet full of pinks and reds closed. Ryoma and Takumi wouldn’t have wanted her to waste away like this, and neither would their mother, Hinoka added later. Sakura did not care too much for her words as long as Hinoka herself refused to touch Ryoma’s sword. To each their own, she had muttered politely, and turned away from her sister. She had been doing that a lot lately, putting distance between each other, sometimes by travel, other times with a deafening silence.

The ensemble was completed with a dark obi around her waist. She didn’t need to look into the mirror to know that her hair contrasted strongly with the kimono, but she was beyond caring about what she looked like. This was a barrier, a way of telling people that they should not speak to her about festivities, of happy memories, or life. Buried deep between the layers of her kimono, placed right over her heart, was a pink and black handkerchief. It was a bright light in a dark night that was obscured by layers of stormy clouds, but with every step she took she could feel the friction of the little memento she had stolen against her skin. It was almost enough to make her dull heart start beating a little bit more enthusiastically, but never for long.

Her mission to Nohr had been a punishment from Hinoka for her childish behavior, Sakura was sure of this with every step she took down to the shrine of the dawn dragon. Although the gesture may have been well-intentioned, her sister should have known how much it hurt to see those who had taken all she had from her, shaking their hands politely and calling them anything but the Nohrian scum she believed them to be. 

To her great surprise, her journey into the kingdom of night had been cathartic. King Xander, at least, seemed to be cut from a different cloth than his father, and his sorrowful promise had genuinely caught her off guard. She would never trust him, never lower her guard around all of them or forget what they had done, but she could look him in the eye now and wish him a long, healthy life even if he had denied it to her own brother. This was what forgiveness of an unforgivable sin felt like, she thought as she climbed the steps of the holy grounds,  and she felt a little bit lighter with every step forward.

Maybe one day she could call him a decent man if he lived up to the promise he made to he during their dance together, his arms around her so much like her own brother’s that she could almost weep. But she didn’t, and neither did he. He won, she had wanted to cry, but one look in his eyes told her that he had also loved and lost. Perhaps  _ this  _ was what forgiveness was supposed to feel like, a dull throbbing in her chest that was tempered by a small smile on her lips, mirrored by his own.

Sakura did her duty as a shrine maiden almost mindlessly, sweeping the floor before offering food and coins to the Dawn Dragon. She had prayed for her brothers at the beginning, bargaining with the silent dragon for their return. The offerings had turned cold just like her heart, and she had given up. Her prayers went to a good harvest now, as a good princess should. How much longer would she be permitted to serve the temple like this? How much longer until the duties of her new life took her entirely out of the comfortable spaces of her old one?

Instead of an answer, the gods sent her a devil.  The clank and creak of Kamui’s armor was grating to Sakura's ears as she carelessly made her way up the long stairs of the Dawn Shrine, and Sakura had to consciously keep her face straight to avoid herself from outwardly showing her distaste. The years of the war spent in Nohr have changed Kamui, Hinoka had always said. But did they ever really know the woman wearing an obscenely expensive black and golden armored dress carelessly sauntering up the staircase like she didn’t shed the blood of her own siblings?

There is poison on her lips, her heart is aflame with white hot fire, but for all her anger, Sakura can say no more to this monster than a strangled hello. Poison them with fine wine and short words, Yukimura had advised her when she had asked how to approach the blood traitor, and this is what she continued to do.

Kamui’s smile fell from her face, and a tiny ugly part inside of Sakura cried out in glorious vindication. Try as she might, she couldn’t help but feel better now that neither of them was smiling.  

“You haven’t spoken a word to me since we set out from Windmire,” Kamui accused her, and Sakura bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from calling out the lie. She had just greeted her with a single word, after all. But she wasn’t that childish.

Instead, she kept her eyes on the small golden statue of the Dawn Dragon, and pretended to busy herself with the duties of prayer. “Have I?” 

Kamui fidgeted with the hem of her dress for a few seconds. “Look, I know that I have wronged you and that you have yet to forgive me. I broke my promise that day at Fort Jinya, and I am so sorry for that. Please know that it was taken out of my control.”

Sakura took a deep breath like Ryoma had taught her, and released it in a controlled manner, expelling the words she wanted to say along with them.

When it became clear that Sakura would not reply, Kamui sat down on one of the wooden benches and continued. “But that’s not what I came here for.”

_ Of course there was another reason for her visit, _ Sakura thought to herself. She performed the morning ritual like Kamui wasn’t even there. Her name may be Hoshidan, but everything else about her was Nohrian, and their ilk never served wine without a bite of poison.

Kamui’s voice was careful, as if her words couldn’t hurt her any more than she already had with that legendary blade by her side. “Takumi, at the end…there was nothing left of him, like he was possessed. Hinoka saw little of him, but she told me the two of you were close. I know remembering might be painful, but I can’t help but wonder if you never noticed there was something different about him?”

She had, of course. He had been sick more often than usual, plagued by terrible headaches and even more horrifying nightmares. Hinoka and Ryoma were too busy ruling their withering country after their mother’s death, so she had noticed and kept her silence. A sob threatened to consume her, but these tears had been her constant companion ever since her had brothers died, and she knew them well. With practised ease she kept her voice even and her face the very picture of serenity.

“We were all changed by the years of fighting.”  _ And by your betrayal _ . From the corner of her eye, she spotted a small smile on Kamui’s face, and Sakura mentally scolded herself for indulging her with as many words as she had. 

“But was there nothing else? No strange words, an occasional purple glow perhaps?” 

Sakura shook her head as if the implication did not bother her. “Nothing of the sort.”

“Thank you for your time then, I - ” Whatever Kamui was going to say died on her lips, and Sakura was grateful for the silence until she spoke again, this time with a determined look on her face that Sakura pretended not to see. Kamui sighed, and  _ dared  _ to put a hand on her shoulder. “The war is over Sakura, and the price was high for all of us. But please, let peace allow us to be sisters once more. I’ve missed you, Sakura.”

Sakura froze the second Kamui’s fingers touched her. Bile settled into her stomach, and for a very twisted moment she was unsure whether she wanted to wrap her arms around Kamui’s neck to embrace her or strangle the life out of her. The moment passed, and it its  wake, it left only white hot flames that consumed any reservation left in her.

“Listen,  _ sister _ .” She shrugged off the offending hand and turned around slowly, and her voice was icy cold and dangerously low. “Y-you may apologize a thousand times, but I will not wash the blood off your hands for you. You betrayed Hoshido, and our family. We may share a mother and father, and the blood in our veins, but family does not murder each other to achieve their goals! Let me make this abundantly clear to you one final time, Kamui. You are not my sister, and I will not forgive you nor forget what you have done for the rest of my days!” She was screaming at the end, and the maids of the temple would talk, but Sakura did not care, tears of anger running down her face as she finally,  _ finally  _ said what had been mentally repeating in her mind for months.

Kamui took a step back, her eyes wide and her voice little more than a breath of air. “Sakura…”

The sound of her name from a traitor’s lips made her hands ball up in fists, fueling the undying flames inside of her even more. “I am a the first princess of Hoshido, and when you speak to me you will address me as such,” Sakura hissed before Kamui could say anything else, “You expect me to be a fountain of kindness and forgiveness, but I have run dry. There is nothing in this world that you could do to make me forgive you!”

Kamui retreated carefully, pleading her name a few more times, but she could not hear her over her own thoughts, the thunderstorm inside her. 

“You let yourself in, so I trust you know your way out,” Sakura added venomously, until Kamui’s shoulders sagged and she left the temple quickly without another word.

She felt a vicious headache setting in, but no physical pain could have undermined the feeling of victory she felt. During her brother’s lifetime, she had hardly been able to speak her mind like she did now, but it seemed that even in death, they remained her greatest teachers. Let the servants gossip about her words here today, let it be known that she never would be stuck in her siblings’ shadow ever again. Let it be known that she, the first princess of Hoshido, would fill their shoes instead, no matter how large they were. 

When she touched her face, there were no tears there. Sakura hummed contently. It was a beautiful day. Maybe she would wear that red and silver stitched kimono tonight after all.

 

> **_Flora_ **

 

Ever since her return to Kamui’s service, Flora had not once been summoned for anything but household chores, with the only exception of the few times her sister called. With each passing day,  Felicia had become more preoccupied with books about strategy and warfare than her housekeeping duties. It had only been a matter of time, Flora lamented, before her brilliant younger sister was seen in the light she deserved. Felicia already had two minor troops under her command, and her duties in Windmire hardly ever allowed for her to leave the capital, which was why Flora had been sent along with Kamui to Hoshido while Jakob awaited the birth of his first child at home, and not her sister.

Flora was a woman of magic, but also of cozy homes and clean sheets. To return to Kamui’s service as a maid by her father was slightly humiliating, but not so much that she couldn’t stand it. She was good at it, and had always been. She breathed etiquette like air, unable to break another unspoken rule of court regardless of what she wanted. She knew this was a traitor’s path to redemption and kept her silence at all times.

This was especially hard when paper thin walls failed to drown out the sounds of her mistress’ sobs. The servants, who were reluctant to talk to her personally, had no qualms about speaking to each other in her vicinity, and had revealed that apparently Princess Sakura had said some words long overdue which were none too kind. It surprised Flora since the girl seemed to be the very definition of meekness. Flora had perceived her as distant during their trek to Hoshido, and she had been kind and fair to her servants and companions. All save Kamui seemed to be graced with her quiet support, it seemed.

Kamui was not quick to tears. Too many years spent on the battlefield fighting her own flesh and blood had hardened her, so what exactly could the tiny girl have said to her to reduce her to such a state? At any rate, the entire castle would know about it before the evening fell.

But Kamui never summoned her inside, and the rules of etiquette dictated that she should wait until her services were required rather than invite herself in. Jakob would have ignored that particular rule, but he was her head butler and trusted friend while she was a traitor. All she could do in the meantime was iron one of Lord Leo’s dress shirts in her personal antechamber and pretend not to hear her cries.

“You can stop that. It’ll get wrinkled on the way back anyway.”

Flora nearly dropped the hot iron in shock. She quickly turned around to see that the voice that nearly gave her a heart attack belonged to none other than the youngest Nohrian prince. “Milord! I didn’t notice you!” Flora apologized and curtsied as was proper, her heart was still in her throat. Thank the Dusk Dragon himself that she had not flung the hot iron in her hand at him out of reflex.

The short tilt of his lips was unapologetic, bordering as a smirk. “Niles has been teaching me a thing or two about stealth lately. It wasn’t my intention to scare you.”

Somehow she doubted his words, but let it go when she noticed the furrow of his brow and the lines it created on his otherwise youthful face. “Do you not wish to wear this shirt tonight at the dinner?”

Prince Leo scoffed, his eyes narrowing even further. “After what that little minx did to Kamui, I hardly think it is prudent that we share a familial dinner with them tonight, don’t you think?”

“I am not aware of exactly what transpired between the two of them, milord,” she answered diplomatically. In truth, the words that had been spoken echoed through the servant halls minutes after her mistress had locked herself in her room, and from what she could tell they were none too kind.

Something in her face must have betrayed her thoughts, “I can imagine some things, as I am sure you have,” the prince pried, silently urging her to speak up.

But Gunther had taught them well, and she merely lowered her eyes in deference. “It is not my position to speculate, milord.”

“Perhaps it is time for a change in position then,” Prince Leo muttered under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear. “Regardless, we have a mess to clean up. Niles is already packing up my belongings and Silas is making arrangements for our departure. We leave as soon as Kamui’s bags are also packed, so please see to that.” He dismissed her with a casual air only someone who had been ordering servants around his entire lifetime could pull off. For a second she considered letting him go: she was only a traitor in the face of a prince. But something about the condescending tone of his voice set her off.

“Why the hurry, milord?”

“Are you deaf?” 

His tone was quiet, but harsh as he pointed at the wall on her right, where they could hear Kamui’s strangled sobs every so often. Flora kept her composure and shook her head defiantly, pretending that every sound did not wreck havoc through her own heart. “They have done nothing but insult us ever since we arrived, and frankly, I have better things to do with my time than to dine with a household full of fools who have cursed my blood from the second I was born. As long as they treat us with such disrespect, I see no reason to treat them anything but the same.” For a moment, his tone was childishly vengeful, but she couldn’t find it in her to blame him for it. Even as a member of the ice tribe, she had not been protected from the occasional insult hurdled her way. She could only imagine what was whispered behind the back of a prince.

Still, duty required her to protest. “But, our mission -”

Prince Leo held up his hand before she could finish her protest. “Xander will understand once he reads my letter,” he said while taking it out of his robes, and Flora had never expected to be so frightened of a purple envelope. She, like many others, had not been blind to the way the King had looked at his most precious little princess during the last ball, and she doubted that Prince Leo knew how Kamui’s current state would affect him, and in return, their country. “Now, get to it while I calm my sister down. I don’t want to be here one more second than needed.”

Flora swallowed deeply, her eyes wide. This could be the end of peace, delivered in a small scribbled but clear handwriting. An insult to the royal family might not spark a war, but it would undo all they worked for in the past month. Before she could remember her station, she found her voice and spoke up. “With all due respect milord, I am in the service of Lady Kamui. While I will gladly fold your garments for you, I do  _ not  _ answer to your hasty decisions if they will harm my liege.”

His lips twisted in anger. “Harm her? _ Me?  _ What do you think these shortsighted idiots have been doing to her?”

“They have not been kind. But court rarely is, and by running away with our tails between our legs we will only add fuel to the fire of their gossip.” 

“I am beyond caring at this point,” Prince Leo said dismissively, but she could see that his interest had been piqued.

“As a brother, understandably so,” she said, quietly reminding him of her own little sister, who would be the first to be called to the front lines if they failed their job to keep the peace. “But as a prince of Nohr, one must sometimes grin and bear it, so to speak.”

For a second she thought he was going to lash out, reprimand her for speaking above what she was allowed to. But then all tension from his shoulders dissipated at once, and the furious spark that had dulled his eyes cleared to give way to his intellect. With new eyes he looked at her as if she was a different woman. “You’re the heiress of the Ice Tribe, are you not?” he inquired curiously with a hint of curiosity in his voice and all Flora could do was nod meekly. “The one held as a hostage by my father for many years?”

She nodded again, but before he could bring up her betrayal, she interrupted him. “My sister and I have both renewed our vow of servitude to Lady Kamui out of our own volition after she freed us, but before the war, I often had to do what was right for my tribe rather what my heart demanded of me.”

He seemed to consider her words for a quiet moment with his hand on his hip. “Then what should I do?”

“I - I’m only a maid to Princess Kamui! It would hardly be prudent to advise you in such a situation,” Flora sputtered, caught off guard by his question. It was inappropriate to say the least, but the traitorous pride that she kept locked up inside her heart swelled triumphantly regardless, making her blush a deep red in shame.

“Not as a maid, but as an heiress to a Nohrian tribe, then.” Prince Leo corrected himself, a sly smile on his face. “Tell me, what course of action would be most beneficial to our country?”

If she were a better maid, she would have averted his question politely and sent him on his way. But her ugly side had already reared its head, and she always had trouble keeping her pride in check. The words were out of her lips before she could stop them. “Well then, if I may speak freely, I would first suggest that you let me iron this shirt for you while you calm Lady Kamui  down . After that, we’ll proceed like this...” Her many years of well-chosen words and carefully constructed smiles had prepared her well for situations like these. Without mincing her words, she instructed Prince Leo to dress himself and his sister in their finest clothing and erase all evidence that they had been at all affected by Princess Sakura’s harsh words.

When she was done talking, he gave her a rare but polite smile, one that suited his face much better than the cruel smile that contorted his features a few times during his tirade. She had calmed him down, she realized too late. This was the Prince Leo that left half of Nohr in awe and fear, the prince that would expertly handle any task thrown his way. Even the best needed to blow of their steam from time to time, it seemed. With that thought in mind, they set to work.

It took a full hour to calm down Kamui, and another to mask her red cheeks with layers of makeup, but her lady had learned to put up a front before, and quietly agreed with their strategy. That evening, they dined with the Queen, indulged in fine spirits and pretended to have an absolutely great time, earning themselves many questionable stares from the other visitors. From the sidelines, Flora was never far away to aid her mistress in any way she could, and whisper a few words of encouragement in her ears in between, but most of the time she just stood in awe and watched the theatrics of court take place.

The servants had gossiped as expected, and it seemed that all dinner guests save for the queen herself knew about what had been quickly dubbed as ‘the royal spat at the temple.’ She could see nobles and servants alike lick their lips in anticipation, hoping to catch a glimpse of the alleged tears of the traitorous princess, or even hear an insult from the normally quiet Sakura’s lips. But neither Kamui nor Leo spoke a single word to her, and they did not acknowledge her existence during the entire evening. Their vengeance was delivered with a smile, and by the end of the night, even the servants who had overheard the fight must have wondered if the incident had occurred at all.

Nevertheless, it was draining on her mistress to maintain the facade. Kamui did not revel in court theatrics, unlike how Flora and prince Leo relished the disappointed faces of their political opponents. Once the queen retired to her rooms, Kamui’s smile had became painfully forced, and Prince Leo quickly excused them both.

Flora was surprised when the royal siblings insisted she shared one last drink with them and their retainers in their shared solar. The room was dimly lit with Nohrian scented candles. A parting gift from Jacob most likely, Flora mused to herself.

“That went well, all things considered,” Silas sighed, undoing a few buttons of his dress shirt.

Lord Leo’s retainer still seemed conflicted between looking at her with distrust or leering at her. “I still prefer diplomacy of the knife,” he said when he was not trying to look at her or Sir Silas’s chest. “But I will admit that I thoroughly enjoyed the pained look on Princess Sakura’s face. I didn’t know you had it in you, milady!” Niles slapped Kamui jovially on the back, but she did not share his amusement.

“Quiet! She had every right to be angry with me,” she scolded him, but he was unrepentant.

“Perhaps. But so did we,” Prince Leo chimed in, swirling the wine in his glass while he spoke. “You are my precious older sister, and even if you weren’t, we are all comrades-in-arms, and we leave no one behind.”

The rest of the men in the group seemed to echo his sentiment, and Flora wondered if Lady Kamui realized exactly how much she had affected the people around her during the war, and how far they would go to make her smile. It must be wonderful to be loved by so many.

“Thank you, Leo,” Kamui embraced him quickly, spilling some of her wine over his freshly pressed shirt and making Flora wince at the amount of trouble it would take to wash those red drops out later. Only when all eyes turned to her, did she realize that perhaps her reaction had not been as discreet as she thought it was.

She quickly lowered her head in apology, but her lady waved it away in seconds, surprising her with a question. “What is our next course of action?”

Flora’s eyes went wide. “Me? Lady Kamui, I am-”

“Leo told us this entire evening was your plan. Truth to be told, if you hadn’t whispered in my ear what to say every now and then, I don’t think I could have survived it to the end.” Lady Kamui’s smile was like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy castle, enough to shed some light on this otherwise dark day.

“You honor me greatly, milady.” She dared to sneak a thankful look at Prince Leo as well before she gathered her courage. “I… I would suggest writing a letter home to His Majesty regardless to inform him of the situation before word reaches him in some other way. We could probably cut our visit a few days short without giving away our true intentions, but I’m afraid that we would have to stay for the rest of the week.” The court would whisper, but nobody could accuse them of breaking the treaty between the two countries. After a lifetime of cold war, Flora found that there was little she wouldn’t do for peace.

“Or we travel the countryside. Didn’t Queen Hinoka want to show you your birth country?” Silas chimed in, an adventurous smile on his face.

“I’m hardly in a mood to be subjected by even more angry glares, thank you very much, Silas.” Kamui dismissed him before he could bring up even more childhood memories, but her eyes were full of longing regardless. “Well, even if I always wanted to see more of Hoshido,” she added as an afterthought, bringing the smile back to his face.

“We could travel incognito if you wish, milady,” Flora suggested quickly, glad to see her mistress feeling better.

Prince Leo nodded with a smirk, pleased for some reason, but she did not know why. “We could do that, though a large party such as ours is bound to gather attention.”

Luckily, Silas had set his sights on a road trip and would not be easily dissuaded. “Then we travel like we used to during the war, with just the few of us. It’ll be just like old times, only without the fighting. Come on Kamui, it’s the holiday you’ve always dreamed of! We’ll simply leave the rest of our company and servants here to smooth out the trade agreements between the Nohrian guilds and the Hoshidan ones and leave as soon as our formal business is concluded.”

Kamui was technically the leader of their diplomatic mission, and the final decision laid with her. But with three men smiling in their seats like children, there really wasn’t much of contest. In the end, she sighed theatrically and gave permission. “Besides, Leo and I had been planning to visit a lake on the way back home anyway. Just the few of us, like old times.”

Flora carefully schooled her features, letting none of her disappointment show. It had been great to be part of a group for a while, but at the end of the day she knew her place. “I’ll ensure that your bags are packed when you decide to leave, milady. I’m certain we can manage ourselves while you are out in the country.”

It was not Lady Kamui that spoke up, but rather her younger brother. “Don’t forget to pack your own, you’re coming with us. We could use someone who can keep a cool head in a heated situation like you can.”

Flora nearly froze the entire content of her glass at his words, but deep inside something warm and wonderful bloomed up, and for the first time in many many years, she wasn’t homesick. Kamui nodded with a smile, seemingly surprised that she could have thought otherwise. A soft voice of hope inside of her that had been quiet for far too long whispered that perhaps  _ this too was redemption. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakura's words at the end of chapter 21 always stayed with me. That even she could be swayed to curse at you, to later stop eating all together. She is often portrayed as a meek girl of infinite forgiveness, but I wanted to portray her more realistically. Even the most quiet, most kind people, have a limit, and Sakura has reached hers.
> 
> I love writing Flora. She provides a different perspective from Kamui's shelteredness.
> 
> Only one person came sort of close to guessing Sakura would get really mad! Congrats! Here is your hint for next chapter.
> 
> Next week Xander and Camilla receive three letters. Kudos if you can guess from whom!


	4. The Land of Our Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamui and Leo go on a roadtrip, while Camilla and Xander loose sleep and discuss politics.

> **_Xander_ **

After many years of living in the darkness that Nohrians call a home, Xander had developed the skill of discerning the subtle difference between the dark of night and the twilight of daytime. Or, at least that’s what he thought before his sister opened his door, already dressed for bed. Xander rolled his neck from side to side, loosening the kinks, and glanced at the large clock in the corner of his study. Had he really been working for nine hours straight since the afternoon’s court session? It felt like mere minutes had passed.

Camilla took one look at his haggard appearance, everything from the ink blotches on his hands to the dark bags under his eyes, and frowned disapprovingly. Xander pretended not to see it. “Take a seat, Camilla,” he said while a maid put down a comfortable chair next to his own. “What do I owe this pleasure for?”

“What are you doing up at this hour anyway? You should be asleep. Did you even eat?” she asked, thoughtlessly placing a wayward strand of hair behind his ear.

At the mention of food, his empty stomach twisted uncomfortably, and Xander shook his head, not taking his eyes off the documents sprawled out over his desk. “I’ll have something brought up after you leave.”

“Nonsense, we’ll have a late night snack together, and then you’re off to bed. Don’t you have a meeting with the ambassador from Izumo this morning?” From seemingly nowhere, Camilla pulled out a plate of pastries and cheese, as though she had known all along that he had forgotten to eat. Had she waited for him at the dinner table with Elise? His stomach made a sound, out of regret or hunger, he did not know. Without looking too eager, he ate half the plate, savoring the taste. Why did he always only remember he was hungry when food was brought before him? 

All the while, Camilla muttered that he should be taking better care of himself, commenting on his gaunt appearance.

“I’ll take care of it, thank you for reminding me. I should probably take a look at this report before going to bed,” he said, glancing at the candles lighting the room. They had almost burned up completely, illuminating the room in a flickering warmth that made it hard for him to make out some of the words. He rubbed his eyes, remembering Elise’s prescription for his glasses. Maybe he should look into that, he was getting a bit older anyway. There was no shame that.

“You can do that in the morning,” Camilla chided him, and he wondered once more if he had spoken aloud, or if she simply knew him  _ that  _ well.  “Honestly Xander, even Father bathed more often than you do. When was the last time you took a good soak in the bathhouse?”

“A king hardly has time for such luxuries, Camilla. My people need me to -”

Camilla rolled her eyes, and he supposed he sounded like a broken record. “Your people need you to live. You’ve always been diligent, but the last few weeks you’re downright exhausting yourself to the point of lunacy.”

He wanted to deny her words, but couldn’t. With Leo and Kamui out of the country, there were two less people to pull him out of his study at night. Sometimes his late night spars with Kamui were the only thing that kept him from forgetting about time altogether. He was struck by a sudden pang of loneliness, and it was quickly alleviated by Camilla’s soft hand on his shoulder. Xander sighed, and let himself fall back into his chair. “It will all be worth it in the end,” he muttered.

His sister sighed, looking at him as she sometimes did to Elise when she acted particularly headstrong. “Xander, the kingdom of our dreams isn’t built in over the course of a single night. It takes time to undo the many years of father’s questionable rule.”

“I know!” he barked out harshly, making Camilla’s eyes widen. He didn’t raise his voice often, and he felt ashamed at the fear in his sister’s eyes. He must have resembled an echo of their departed father, a comparison that would have made him smile years ago but now only filled him with painful regret and self-loathing. 

He took a deep breath, and continued barely above a whisper . “I know that. Sometimes I just feel so… worthless. The end of summer is approaching fast, and I’ve been on this throne for nearly a half a year already, and I have little to show for it. All five of us work ourselves to the bone and for what? For a childhood dream? Today, I had three separate village elders petition me for extra food, telling me that without our aid, their children would starve in the upcoming winter. The war pulled the farmers away from their land, and now we reap the consequences. Last years harvest could hardly feed the core lands, this year I’m afraid it won’t even feed the capital until spring!” Despite his resolution to remain calm, his voice rose with every word, his every word making his hands ball up tighter, desperately yearning for the familiar weight of a sword in his palms.

“At ease, Xander , ” Camilla said calmly, taking his hand in her own like his mother did when he was still a young boy, and uncurled it gently. Finally, she placed it over his own heart. “The kingdom of our childhood dreams is already here.  All we need is time to make it a reality. It doesn’t seem like much now, and undoubtedly many more will die before we can realize it, but our children will reap the benefits even if we’ll have to starve ourselves for it.”

For a second he allowed himself to dream of another time, in which a few children of his own vied for his attention while he read them a bedtime story, none of the troubles of the crown of his head in his mind. He chased the vision away. Such a time would never come. 

His face must have given away some of his inner turmoil, for his sister pulled him in for a quick embrace. When they pulled apart, her voice was gentle. “Now, don’t lose hope. We won an impossible war already. Solving famine is nothing compared to what we faced in that throne room.” Her voice turned dark at the end, as if the very memory of that day filled her with dread. They never spoke about, especially not Camilla. Their father’s axe had become hers by laws of inheritance, but just like all other mementos of the former king, they had hidden it out of sight. It had been the kind thing to do, but now, months after the fact, Xander wondered if it had been the right thing as well. 

He said nothing about any of this. Instead he looked at Camilla’s determined eyes, and wondered out loud, “Don’t you ever lose heart? Nohr’s land is poisoned. Salted by the gods, as the Hoshidans like to put it. I want to believe in fairytales, in a summer full of sunshine and a bountiful harvest to follow, but I’m thirty years old. Camilla,I can hardly afford to be a child anymore.”

“Hope is  _ not  _ childish, Xander. It keeps us from lying down in defeat once we have fallen,” she said, a small smile playing over her lips while she motioned a maid for a glass of wine. “Let the Hoshidans say what they want. Let them sow their fields with rice and grain and whatever they like to lord over our heads. We have untapped mines in the east, don’t we? They need our precious metals as much as we need their food.”

“We need that metal for weapons, Camilla. We can hardly afford to deliver our finest steel to our enemy.” He echoed the words his father had repeated many times when he was as a young man who was already tired of seeing his people suffer from hunger.

She sighed, taking a sip from her glass. “Only, they’re not our enemy anymore. We’re living in a time of peace, and it’s time that we reap the benefits. Hoshido has food to spare, let them have our swords and melt them into plowshares. They can have my axe too, if it feeds our country for another week.” He wondered if she meant the one that had accompanied her during her travels, or the one their father had raised against them. 

He didn’t say anything, just like how they never talked about the brothers and sisters that Leo and Elise were too young to remember, the scars on his body inflicted by Camilla’s own power-hungry mother, and the holes in their hearts that never quite mended. “You’re right, as always,” he whispered instead, and let the silence that followed speak for him instead.

Camilla gave him a pointed look. “You need to stop thinking like a general, and start thinking like a king. Hoshido needs money, we have gold aplenty from the war. Nothing builds peace like a relationship of mutual dependency.”

Xander frowned. “We would be giving them power that they can turn against us.”

“If they do, we’ll crush them like we did before. Steel is in our veins, Xander. They can’t take that away as long as we stand together. For the Nohr of our dreams, put down your sword, and make amends.” His other hand was unconsciously caressing the hilt of Siegfried, always at his side. He pulled it away as if he had been stung.

She was right, of course. And she wasn’t the first to point it out. His civil counselors had all but begged him to demobilize and invest in the mines instead. But he had grown up with a sword in his hand and been raised as a soldier, and it was hard to let go of thirty-odd years of thinking like a general. 

He took a sip from the wine Camilla had ordered for him, letting the liquid warm his tired bones, and he put his worries into the back of his mind. “That is not why you came here tonight, was it?”

“I may be your younger sister, but you’ve always needed someone to mother you from time to time. Don’t think that because you’re king now that I will stop looking out for you.” Camilla had the nerve to look entirely unapologetic. Xander raised a single brow, waiting for her to continue until she relented. “But you are correct. A messenger was searching for you during dinner, and left me three letters. One is from Leo.”

“Leo?” The mention of his bright little brother brought a smile to his face, and he accepted the envelopes Camilla pulled from her nightclothes. “This one is from Queen Hinoka, if I’m correct. And another one from the Ice tribe.”

The letter from the Ice Tribe was the odd one out. They prefered to send messengers, or pass notes through one Kamui’s maids, that would eventually reach him. Xander figured it was their way of saying that they had sworn their allegiance to her, not to him. To receive a personal letter written especially to him for the first time was almost unsettling.

He opened the light blue parchment. In a surprisingly beautiful cursive handwriting, he was addressed by the tribe’s chief himself, though his tone was somewhat inappropriate. Regardless of their semi-autonomous state, a chief should not speak to his king as an equal. Xander tried not to read too much into it, and quickly scanned the contents of the letter.

“What does it say?” Camilla asked, trying to peek over his shoulder.

“He requests a formal meeting to discuss the future of our nations,” Xander muttered, rereading the last few sentences with an increasing feeling of dread. “This can’t be good.”

“Let me see that...” Without waiting for his reply, she pulled the letter from his hands, nearly ripping it at the edges. She had always been a slow reader, mixing up one word with another in her head. But it never kept her from reading, and he patiently waited for her to finish.

“He’s bringing up his daughters an awful lot. I’ll have to talk to Kamui once she returns from Hoshido about releasing them from her service,” he commented when she had reached the end.

Camilla sighed, shaking her head. “Felicia has practically left her services anyway. She’s currently commanding one of my squadrons of Malig Knights with a talent I didn’t expect from the blundering maid. She’s rather adorable, actually… Nohr will be sad to see her go.” 

“The Ice Tribe is semi-autonomous now, and we can’t stop him from making a claim on his daughters. We’ll have to let her go.” 

His sister nodded, but there was a sadness in her eyes. She had become clingier than ever, pulling her loved ones closer to her, refusing them room to breathe. He had grown up with Camilla all his life, and sometimes enjoyed her smothering affection, but even Elise had complained about it at breakfast the other day.

He wanted to say something about it to her until he saw her smile.

“I’m not entirely sure that’s what he’s hinting, brother,” she said mysteriously, but she shouldn’t have bothered. She had been talking about little else ever since Elise’s debutante ball.

“You’re reading too much into it.” He dismissed her quickly, earning himself an amused chuckle.

“Am I? Perhaps you should speak to him about it regardless. They’re both lovely girls.”

Xander sighed, taking another sip from his wine. “Why are you so invested in my love life lately, Camilla?”

“I do whatever it takes to make you happy, sweetheart.” Her smile was a bit too wide, as if it could burst at the seams at any moment. He took the letter from her hands and held them instead, his cold hands over her perpetually warm ones, just like he used to do when they were little.

“I am happy, Camilla. I have all of you by my side, I hardly need more than that.” And it was true. As long as they stood together, they could weather any storm. They had already faced the worse on that day in the Hoshidan throne room.

Camila gave him a questionable look. “Is there truly nobody that has caught your attention, brother?”

“There isn’t,” he lied, feeling his heart race to a marching band’s beat in his chest. With practised ease he quieted the flutters, and pushed it all deep down where it belonged.

His sister was perceptive, but in the flickering light of the dying candles, it seemed his struggle went unnoticed. She looked forlornly into her wineglass for a moment, lost in thoughts. Then she downed it in one go and let her shoulders slump, her voice soft like the wind. “I’ll admit that I have selfish reasons to see you married, other than your happiness. Until you marry and have a child, should something befall you, I am your heir. It’s a position I do  _ not  _ desire.”

Xander’s expression softened.  There it was, the true reason she had been pestering him so much about finding a bride. “You would be a wonderful queen, Camilla. You are already like a mother to all of us, the country would benefit from your caring hands.”

“Perhaps. But let’s hope it will never come to that.” Her voice was light, but her heart seemed heavy, only betrayed by the dark look in her eyes. “One day in the distant future, when the Nohr of our childhood dreams is no longer just, a dream, I hope that I can leave this world of cutthroat diplomacy and settle somewhere quiet. This life is not for me brother, we both know that.”

His heart caught in his throat at the idea of her far away in a world where he couldn’t come home to her wise words and forgiving arms. “You can’t! Camilla, you can’t leave us here. What would I do without your support, without your calm mind in this chaos I call a kingdom?” he all but cried, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Camilla refused to meet his eyes. “You have Leo and Elise, and you have Kamui. You’ll be fine, of that I am certain,” she said. Her voice was careful and composed while his mind ran wild. How long had these thoughts been poisoning her mind? When his grip would not loosen, she continued on a lighter tone. “And I said later, brother. For now, I remain at your side.”

He relented his grip. She was twenty-eight years old, four years younger than himself. He had seen her suffer at court more times than he could count, and it would have been the kind thing to do to allow her to resign from her courtly duties, and let her live in the peace and stability she so desired. But Xander had never claimed to be a selfless man, so he did not. “We’ll talk about that later, then.”

Camilla sighed, shaking her head slightly. Her thoughts remained hers alone, and Xander distracted herself by opening the second letter. Leo still had  a terrible handwriting, and wrote with none of Kilma’s courtesy. It brought a smile to his lips. 

“What does Leo have to say?”

Xander spoke as he read. “Their envoy went well. He says – wait, am I reading this correctly?” His eyes went wide, and he reread the second-to-last sentence again and again. No matter how many times he read it, the words never changed.

“What’s wrong? Are they hurt?” Camilla’s voice was full of concern, once again peeking over his shoulder.

Before she could yank the paper from his hands again, Xander eased her worries. “No, nothing of the sort. Apparently they’re taking a short holiday to see the Hoshidan countryside. He doesn’t say much more about it, only that we shouldn’t expect them back within a fortnight.”

“Strange… Leo is not the kind of person to slack off,” Camilla said, mirroring his own thoughts. “This is probably Kamui’s doing, then. Does it say where they are? I could use a break myself...”

It made sense. Kamui had a way of forcing her siblings to go out of their comfort zone. “He doesn’t, he only asks some strange questions that I can’t really make sense of, about Azura and Laslow.”

“That is strange, but I’ve never been able to follow our little genius’s mind when he puts it to work, so all we can do is pray that whatever he’s concocting does not blow up in his face,” Camilla said with a particular smile on her face, as if she was waiting for a moment to pinch his cheeks.

“He’s an adult, Camilla, you shouldn’t baby him so much,” Xander scolded her half-heartedly. He had taught Leo how to read, and she had taught him how to dance. At night, when their mothers still waged a war over their heads, they had sometimes fallen asleep cuddled up in Xander’s large bed. No matter how hard he tried, that was an image that would never leave his mind.

“He’ll always be my baby brother.” Camilla echoed his thoughts unknowingly. “Now, off to bed with you. It’s past midnight already.”

“One more letter,” he pleaded, the letter opener already in his hand before she could protest.  “It’s Queen Hinoka’s… wait… what?” He kept muttering to himself while he scanned the contents of the letter carefully. It seemed hastily written, as if it was addressed from one older sibling to another rather than from a monarch. With every passing word, the stone in his stomach sunk deeper and deeper.

“What’s wrong?”

“Give me Leo’s letter, will you?” he commanded, snatching it from her hands the second it was within reach. Leo’s words had seemed clear before, but now, every short sentence seemed to contain a hidden meaning. 

Camilla squeezed his shoulder painfully, drawing his attention. “Okay, one of them is lying, and I don’t think it’s the queen,” he explained carefully, reading Queen Hinoka’s letter again.

“Xander, you’re killing me here. Speak clearly, please.”

“She apologizes for ‘what occurred between your siblings and my own’ and ‘hopes that this will not sour the relationship between our two countries,’” he recited, and with every word Camilla’s eyes narrowed more dangerously.

“Give me that!” she demanded, propelling herself out of her seat, and he obliged. “This sounds like either Leo or Kamui got hurt, even if she is terribly vague about it. Oh, they will rue the day they touched a hair on their heads.” She rose to her feet abruptly, turning to the closest servant. “You there! Pack my bags and alert my coterie, I’ll be flying to Hoshido before daybreak,” Camilla ranted before she had even finished the entire letter, crumpling it it in her fist. The servant that suffered her wrath by proxy cowered into a bow, quick to leave the room. An angry Camilla was a frightening one.

Xander overrode her command with a single handwave to the nervous servant. “Camilla,  _ no _ . We don’t know what’s going on, and we hardly know where Leo and Kamui are right now. They obviously intended for us to remain ignorant of… whatever happened in Hoshido.” His words were calm, calm enough to allow for him to ease Camilla back into her chair. But Leo had always been secretive, and perhaps a bit too smart for his own good sometimes. To lie to his face, even if it was a lie of omission, was new, and it spelled nothing good.

Camilla wasn't afraid to vocalize what he felt inside. “Xander, they harmed our baby siblings! I will not stand idle in the face of this insult!” 

“We don’t know that,” Xander pleaded, trying to keep his voice low until her eyes resembled something less fiery than a wild fire.  _ This was her weakness, _ a voice in the back of his mind crooned, resembling his father too much to make him feel anything but uncomfortable. “Camilla, I’m angry as well.  _ But  _ we have a country to rule, and as much as you like to deny it, they’re both adults. We need to trust them to handle themselves in spite of what’s happening.”

“Beruka can track them down quickly enough,” Camilla snapped back, but he knew that she saw the logic of his words.

Xander changed tactics. “I need you here, Camilla.” He changed his tone to a plea, appealing to her maternal instincts by showing his vulnerabilities. The change in her was immediate: her shoulders relaxed, and her hands unclenched, finding themselves on his shoulders instead. It felt wrong to manipulate her, but for Nohr… Xander swallowed and pushed it all down again. “We’ll face the delegates from Izumo tomorrow together, and when we’re both calm, we’ll compose a letter to Leo to confront him about his lies. If he doesn’t answer adequately, then you will fly to Hoshido.”

“But- “ Camilla sputtered, but Xander did not let her speak.

His voice dipped low as some of the darkness in his heart spilled out. “But you won’t  go alone. We’ll ride together, with Elise and an army too. Let those Hoshidans remember who conquered their lands, and who gave them their country back. Let them remember that we showed them mercy, and what it means to insult a member of our house. I will color the fields red with their blood if that’s what it takes, but not without a good cause.”

_ You’ll do more than just that if something happened to Kamui or Leo, _ the dark voice in his mind supplied, twisting his heart. His swordhand tingled at the prospect, and he palmed the hilt of Siegfried with both dread and anticipation. He had been raised on the battlefield, and not even his loathing for unnecessary slaughter could have taken the war out of his soul. 

In retrospect, he should have sent the servants away before making such an admission, but it was easy to forget about them until one of them started cowering in the corner. He composed himself quickly, but Camilla was smiling when she met his eyes. “You’re probably right,” she admitted with a deep sigh.

He hoped he was. “I am. Now, let’s not tell Elise about this yet, shall we?”

“Have your letter done by tomorrow afternoon. You can stop me from going, but not from sending Beruka after them. She’ll deliver the letters personally,” Camilla declared, standing up. She yawned theatrically, but he knew she would not sleep tonight.

“Of course, sister. Good night,” he relented, knowing that resistance was futile. 

Camillia quickly pecked him on the forehead, a gesture she normally reserved for their younger siblings. “Goodnight to you too. Elise expects you for breakfast tomorrow morning, I almost forgot to say. Don’t disappoint her.”

Xander nodded and watched her leave. The second the door closed behind her, he carefully refolded the letters and put them away. Kamui was not home to cross blades with him until his sorrows went away, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t attempt it himself. 

With Siegfried in hand, he quickly slipped out the balcony door into the warm summer night breeze, praying to the gods above that his siblings were alright.

 

* * *

 

> **_Kamui_ **

 

More than once during their journey, Kamui had the distinct feeling that her right ear was itching, but when she scratched it, the feeling was gone. It was annoying, but not more than the feeling of her constricting shoes. She longed to feel the earth beneath her feet, to know the land of her birth with every step she took. If it had been up to her, she would have grasped her dragonstone and transformed, trading the frightened horse between her legs for a nice run in the fields. 

But a dragon rampaging through the countryside would draw attention, and it would defeat the purpose of their trip and all the careful planning Niles, Leo and Flora put into it, so Kamui endured the discomfort and rode her horse with little complaint. Perhaps the beast sensed her draconic heritage because she could feel its fear for her in every movement.

They managed to stay in Shirasagi for five more agonizing days, each one more straining on her nerves than the last. No matter how many times she approached Sakura to apologize, her little sister remained ice cold to her, only breaking her silence for a snide comment left and right. Flora had cautioned her not to speak to Sakura but it had not been her words that kept her away, but her own shame. 

She had wronged Sakura, a thousand more times than she could ever atone for. Sakura was right in her anger, but Hinoka had forgiven her and, Kamui had led herself to foolishly believe that her youngest sister would come around eventually too. Now, she wasn’t so certain.

It hurt to think of her more than Takumi’s arrow through her chest. That wound had been closed, and was nothing more than a painful memory and a silvery scar over her heart, but Sakura’s words were like a sword that kept piercing her every time they echoed through her mind, which was to say, all the time. 

And the worst part was that all of it had been true, as much as Leo liked to deny it. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t have hurt as much as. There was blood on her hands, the same that coursed through her veins, and during the dark, sleepless nights, she wondered if it would have been better if it had been hers that was spilled, and not that of brothers’. On those nights she silently begged to never be forgiven for what she had done.

After five days, Hinoka had finally caught on to the the tension between the two of them. Hinoka was a queen of principle and honour, and abhorred rumors to the point that she refused to participate in any gossip. It was a noble disposition, but one that inevitably kept her out of the loop most of the time. Her elder sister had been full of sadness to see them fight, but at that point her bags were already packed and the plan was in motion, and not even her pleas could change their destination. A delegation of traders remained behind to secure business relationships with the Hoshidan guilds while the royal entourage toured the Hoshidan countryside before going home. 

However, a decoy prince and princess rode in their midst. It was a replicate that Kaze had provided for them, powered by Leo’s magic. The real royalty had snuck out the night before under the cover of darkness that was like a home to them, with only Niles, Silas and Flora to accompany them. Kaze remained with the replicates, covering in any way that their clones could not. It was hard to part from the man who watched over her shadow day and night, but in the end, it was worth it.

Hoshido was wonderful, especially when the people paid no mind to her. Kamui’s grasp on magic was not too great, but she knew enough to create a minor appearance-altering illusion to fool a market saleswomen into telling her the history of her town. She spoke like Mozu, content with the simpler things in life, and like never before did she long to speak to her old friend, wherever she may be. They had all drifted apart after the war, some swept away by their new positions in life like Xander, and others disappeared entirely like Laslow.

But none of them had vanished quite like Azura. At least Odin’s autobiography still remained in circulation, though as a fantasy book for children. Nohrians around the country danced the foreign steps Laslow had taught them during the war whenever moral was low, and Camilla still had a few trophies with Selena’s name on them to remember her by. They had vanished, slipped away after the coronation like wind between their fingers, but nobody doubted they had ever existed. 

Of Azura, people were not so sure. No trace of her remained in this world, and with every passing day, it seemed that her memory grew fainter in the minds of the people. During their remaining days in Shirasagi, neither Hinoka nor Sakura mention her once during their stay, and Leo admitted that he sometimes had trouble picturing her face. Whatever she owned before the war had either been thrown away when the Hoshidan people had turned on her, or lost to time. All that remained of her was her song, and Kamui sang her song to herself every night to make sure it would not go forgotten like the songstress that had stood by her side through it all. 

Once they left the capital, they first went to a summer house belonging to the Hoshidan royal family that had been gifted to Azura upon Queen Mikoto’s death. But when they arrived there, the villa had been looted, stripped of any paintings or books that might have given them an idea of where Azura might be. The next rumor they chased led them to a city where Azura had apparently performed shortly before the war, but no one remembered a blue haired songstress or her lovely songs, not even when Kamui sang it to the opera house owner. 

“We should go to Ylisse, wherever that may be,” Leo offered one night when they were sitting around a campfire, eating a fish caught by Niles and prepared by Flora. 

“I’ve never heard of such a place,” Silas said, and Kamui shook her head as well. Gunther had drilled her pretty well in geography, and during the war, she had been able to see most of the continent for herself. But she had never heard of any place called Ylisse, may it be a city or a country.

Leo shook his head. “Neither have I, but Odin said once that if we ever visited that place, we should call for a legendary prince called Owain, and that whoever that may be would ensure that they  would  meet again.” The campfire crackled loudly, warming them pleasantly in the cool, summer night air. Despite his words, Leo sounded uncertain. “I’m sure Odin could lead us to Laslow, and I doubt that he would have strayed from Azura’s side.”

“I thought they were pretty close-lipped about their past, Kamui remarked, surprised that Leo knew anything at all. While she had never spent too much time with Azura’s husband or his two childhood friends, she did know that Xander had tried time and again to pull any information out of his secretive retainer, especially after he married his step-sister. But he had always danced out of those conversations with a few pretty words.

Niles nodded, a satisfied smile on his face as he glanced up at the stars that were hardly ever visible in the cloudy Nohrian sky. “They were. But sometimes, when I gave him the good stuff and he was drunk off his ass, he would tell us stories about that guy named Owain and his powerful sword hand, and how he almost singlehandedly saved the kingdom of Ylisse. Granted, it might have been one of his stories, but it’s all we’ve got.”

Silas groaned loudly. “Great, so we have a hidden land at the bottom of a lake and someplace that might not even exist as our best options. By the time we find Lady Azura, her children would have probably already grown up, if we’re lucky enough to find them all.” His tone was light-hearted and playful, but Kamui couldn’t deny the truth in his words.

“Perhaps we should look for answers somewhere else. The Mages Academy near Windmire has an archive of spells, perhaps we’ll have more luck there than chasing some rumors in Hoshido,” Leo suggested, his hand resting on a book he had picked up somewhere. 

“Well, you did always say that I have the devil’s own luck,” Kamui countered quickly. Nohr was her home, but something was missing there. She was a creature of the light, and while she had embraced the dark, it was still wonderful to spend some time away from court while all of Hoshido was in bloom.

“True, but this is a tall order, even for you.” But in the end, her brother could not change her mind, and they stayed in Hoshido regardless of her companions’ thoughts on the matter. Leo had written home that they were on a holiday anyway, they might as well make a truth out of his little white lie.

Eventually they decided to zigzag their way through the country, visiting any place that might hold an answer about either Azura or the fate of their late father, and asking for directions to the mythical kingdom of Ylisse along the way. But Kamui started to lose hope with every library they visited that held no answers. None of the places Niles and Leo pulled from their memories of Odin’s drunken fables could be found on a map, not Regna Ferox, not Valm, not Plegia. No matter who they asked, young or old, none had ever heard of these places, not even in fairytales.

A month passed between their departure from Shirasagi until the moment they reached the lake, and while their search for Azura remained fruitless, Kamui did get to see the country of her birth. They even worked on a ricefield for a day, pretending to be former soldiers willing to work for a decent meal, and participated in the Hoshidan festival of bonds in a local city. Some old fortune teller predicted that Kamui would bear two healthy sons, and cursed Leo into having ‘a difficult child’ when he called her arts a fallacy. Their disguises became less elaborate with every passing day, and in the end, they could all fake a believable Hoshidan accent to match their backstory of the time. They shared meals and laughter together, and for the first time since the war and all it had taken from her, Kamui could say she genuinely felt at ease.

But other than the company of her friends, Kamui felt at home in the sunlight that hardly ever graced Nohr. The native Nohrians burned bright red in the sun, but her skin turned a lovely tan color, complementing her white hair and red eyes even more. 

_ This is my home, _ she thought when her bare feet broke the surface of the lake. It was as calm and cool as any lake in Nohr, and Kamui had to admit to herself that she did not expect to find the pillar of light that swallowed Azura in the first place. With every town they visited, the reality that Azura was probably never coming back settled in her mind, and with it, came acceptance. Their journey had not provided her with the answers they had set out to find, but she had found tranquility along the road, and perhaps that is what they needed more after all. In a way, visiting this lake was saying her final goodbye to an old friend. Tomorrow they would head back for Nohr, and face the consequences of their little holiday. She could not imagine that Xander would be pleased, but she would endure plenty of political meetings in the future to make up for it.

She looked to her side. Leo was reading a book he had bought in the previous city under the shade of a tree, and Silas took a nap in the grass while Flora and Niles debated heatedly about how to best prepare the rabbit they had caught for dinner. Summer was coming to an end, and she doubted they would have a quiet day like this anytime soon, but that didn’t make the moment any less memorable. 

_ Azura, wherever you are,  _ she thought to herself as she lowered herself into the refreshing water, welcoming the cold against her perpetually heated skin.  _ I hope you’re happy. _

A single happy tear fell from her eyes, breaking her reflection on the water’s surface and creating ripples all around her, taking with it the burdens that rested on her shoulders. Tomorrow she would shoulder them again, Kamui resolved, but for now she would enjoy what she had fought for. Softly she began to sing to the chimes of wind that swept gently through her hair. 

> _ “You are the ocean's gray waves, destined to seek _
> 
> _ Life beyond the shore just out of reach...” _

Azura’s voice had been more beautiful than hers, but she’d always told her that if one sung for their own pleasure, that didn’t matter. With every word, her sorrows were swept away with the tide as she descended deeper into the water.

> _ “Yet the waters ever change, flowing like time _
> 
> _ The path is yours to climb…” _

As soon as the last word passed her lips, a wonderful white light engulfed her and an invisible hand reached through. She shrieked in surprise as it pulled her deeper, and saw Leo’s eyes widen in terror. Niles and Flora were already on their feet, diving into the water that sucked her deeper until she could no longer see them. The water blurred her vision, but it almost seemed as if pieces of land passed her as she sunk deeper. Her lungs finally expelled their last breath, unable to hold it in any longer, and all became black.

When she came to, she was greeted with the familiar sight of a broken land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Valla, baby!
> 
> I was surprised by the amount of love for Sakura. I expected angry anons, not support. Thank you for that! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. I am such a slut for Nohr sibling interactions. I was originally going to write out the entire roadtrip, but in the end decided against it because it was mostly filler. I spoke to Yuki a while back about a fic, entire focused on the awakening trio getting drunk and inadvertently revealing things about their past. I might write that as an in-verse spin off one day, but until then, you'll have to do with the mental image provided in this chapter.
> 
> So, today's vague hint for the next chapter: A certain princess gets the best birthday present she could ever have hoped for.
> 
> Kudos to the person who figures out about who I am talking!


	5. Wind in an Empty Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three lost children return home, and two sisters fight.

> _**Inigo** _

 

It took Inigo four months to reach his father’s ancestral home, a place which he had only heard in his mother’s tales when he was young, fantasies of a better time. Now that he was older, he realized that the land his mother had described to him was nothing like the one that towered before him right now, and he wondered if his late mother had actually seen Rosanne before it fell to the Valmese empire.

The duchy of Rosanne had not been their first destination, despite its relative proximity to the Mila Tree. They had started this journey together, and they vowed that day on the sacred tree that they would also end it together, and so they set out for the continent of Akaneia instead.

Traveling with three young children took significantly longer than it had with just the three of them. A journey that had taken them mere weeks before now encompassed almost two months. It didn’t help that Shigure got sick halfway through, and they had to halt their journey until his fever subsided. For days and nights without end, Inigo stayed by his son’s side, praying to every god he had ever known to not take another family member from him. In the end, the little toddler made a total recovery, and they pushed on to their destination: Ylisstol.

They made it barely in time. On the morning of their arrival in the Ylissean capital, garlands decorated every street, markets were selling sweet buns for cheap to children. Today was a special day, after all, it wasn’t any day that the Crown Princess of Ylisse turned seven years old. Soleil, not even a year old, stared without abandon at the many colorful flags that greeted them with every step. This was a home they had fought for too, Inigo remembered thinking while Owain grew more radiant with every step. He may call himself a hero of darkness, but he belonged in this light, amongst his people. Even Severa was in a good mood, smiling despite her best attempts not too.

They decided against announcing their presence to the guards upon entering the royal castle. Even with three children, sneaking into the castle was embarrassingly easy, and Owain demanded  that  they make a grand entrance befitting three heroes of ages. Inigo had been too tired – of traveling, crying children, and laying awake at night wondering if Azura somewhere looked up at the same stars as him, phantom touches leaving a trail of goosebumps all over his skin – to protest, and so they creeped into the keep, avoiding maids and friends alike.

As predicted, their younger counterparts were playing in the garden, supervised by Libra. After his mother had fallen in that forsaken future, Inigo had been taken in by the kind man as well, raised in the ruins of castle Ylisstol along with what little remained of the royal family. To see his younger self play under Libra’s watchful eye almost brought him to tears, enough to almost drop the charade. But Owain on a mission was a force to be reckoned with, and instead they climbed up the wall to the private dinning hall where the royal family traditionally held their private parties.

And he was right. The first generation of Shepherds were busy setting up all kinds of festive decorations. Sumia put the finishing touches on a large birthday cake, Gaius inevitably lurking over her shoulder, waiting for his opportunity to steal a bite. His heart fell in his stomach when he saw his own mother walk into the room, Robin hot on her heels. Her hair was shorter, and he could spot a few wrinkles left and right that hadn’t been there before, but altogether, the past five years had been kind to her. She still looked as beautiful as always. His father sported a few grey hairs, but he hadn’t lost his bolstering personality. Next to him, Owain had hushed as well, and he didn’t need to look to know that Severa was close to tears.

Owain had prepared their glorious return – his words, not Inigo’s – with a grand opening speech, but once they were actually face-to-face with all the people they held dear, the people they had left behind, even Owain was left speechless. For a moment they just stared, waiting for something to break the spell. In the end, it wasn’t one of their friends, it was his own little son, safely strapped to his back, that started crying and gave them all away.

Inigo had him quiet within seconds, he was a sweet child after all, but the damage had been done. Every eye was centered on them, including a sword or two. His own father’s bow had come out of nowhere, and Inigo knew that one wrong move would mean an arrow between his eyes.

“Explain yourself!” Chrom bellowed, Robin not far from his side with a hand swirling with dark magic. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my castle?!”

For a second, Inigo feared that Owain would put on a spectacle that would get them all killed, but instead he jumped from the high window from which they had entered with a determined look on his face. Lucina, her hair cut short and her tiara gone, raised her sword at her cousin until he lowered the hood of his cloak, and enveloped her in a bear hug.

“Owain?!?” she cried out, her sword falling to the floor with a clattering noise seconds before her arms enveloped him. Inigo and Severa jumped down with a bit more grace, mindful of the children they carried under their cloaks.

“Happy birthday, Lucina,” Severa said with a firm tone, one that belied the tears streaming down her cheeks. The hoods came off, and for a few moments the Shepherds just stared at them, dumbfounded.

For a few moments, Inigo’s continuous sorrow was lifted. It felt so good to see the faces of their friends and family, who had stood beside them in their darkest hours , and with whom he didn’t need to hold anything back.

“Is it really you…?” 

Lissa was the first to break the spell, crossing the distance between herself and her wayward son. She gently took his face in her hands, caressing wet cheeks ,  and searching for something more. Owain just nodded fervently, putting his trembling hands over her own when she started crying too. “Oh gods, it  _ is  _ you! Oh, my baby!”

When Owain wrapped his arms around his mother, his cloak shifted enough to reveal the Brand of the Exalt, proudly presented on his arm for the world to see. Robin muttered a quiet ‘aha’, Morgan beaming from behind her. 

And just like that, the barrier came down ,  and Inigo’s mother lost all reservation. With strength that belied her small figure, Olivia tackled herself into his arms, sobbing in his neck and caressing his face, crying prayers to the gods above.

“Please, mother, be careful!” He pushed her back just in time before she crushed Soleil, who was sleeping under his cloak, firmly pressed against his chest.

Next to him, Lissa’s happiness had turned to anger. “Five years! Five years you had us believing you were dead! Couldn’t you have send a letter or something to let us know where you were? A single postcard would have been less cruel!” she chided her son, her voice frantic with many years of pent up grief. Inigo’s own mother seemed to mirror her pain, and for the first time it crossed both of their minds just how loved they were by these people. This woman had not given birth to him, but she might as wel l, if the tears that continuously streamed down her cheeks were anything to tell by.

“Sorry to make you worry mother, father.” Owain’s apology was uncharacteristically quiet when his reserved father quickly embraced him. Lon’qu was not an expressive person by nature, a stark contrast to his son, but while he wasn’t crying, his hands were trembling all the same.

Gregor had his hands all over his daughter, praising her return while her mother held her in a fierce embrace. “I can’t believe it’s really you!” Cordelia cried out through her tears, pressing them  together tightly.

What Inigo had been able to prevent, Severa could not. Ophelia did not appreciate the crush and started wailing loudly, her cries rivaling her father’s battle cries. Severa’s expression changed from an embarrassed scowl to a caring smile within seconds. She undid some of the bindings that secured the young child to her chest, and shed her cloak. “Shhhhhh, quiet little one. It’s nothing to be afraid of,” she cood gently while rocking Ophelia back and forth. Owain was beside her in seconds, stroking her hair until she calmed down again.

“Is that…?” Cordelia whispered, her hand frozen in the air and her eyes blown wide in sheer disbelief. All things considered, Inigo thought she was taking it rather well.

Owain took the child from Severa’s hands and proudly presented her to their mothers, most of his usual theatrics returned. “Behold! The fruit of our loins, the most beautiful child in the world, Ophelia Dusk!” Already her father’s daughter, the little girl flashed her most prize-winning smile and cooed adorably.

“You had a  _ child? _ You left for five years and returned with a  _ child? _ ” Lon’qu gasped, genuine disbelief palpable in his voice.

His son was as always impervious to the offense, and ranted about how his daughter was truly a chosen hero in the making, while his mother glared at the two of them accusingly. “Don’t tell me you also forgot to send us a wedding invitation!”

“We can do it over, if you’d like,” Severa laughed sheepishly.

“Oh, Severa, Owain, you two…?” Lucina asked softly, her eyes shifting back and forth between her cousin and best friend. Instead of answering, Owain twirled Severa around with one arm and dipped her low, planting a kiss on her lips before she could protest.

“Stop embarrassing me!” Severa cried out indignantly when she got up again, blushing as red as her hair had been during their time in Nohr. Lucina embraced the two of them quickly, tears in her eyes. Morgan followed quickly, bouncing on his feet. He looked older, more like his father, but Inigo was glad to see he had never lost the youthful optimism all the others had traded for jaded bitterness a long time ago.

“My little girl, all grown up,” Cordelia cried, drawing her blushing daughter once more in her arms. “May I hold your daughter?” And so Ophelia was passed from relative to relative, Owain proudly showing off her brand of the Exalt to all who wished to see it while his mother cried even more.

It was easy to fall into the background, to let the world pass on without him. Despite her insistence to remain cool, Inigo could see that Severa was enjoying the attention. And Owain was as energetic as always, always full of poetic praise about his wife and child. Inigo remembered a time when Shigure had just been born when he was just the same. Everyone knew when Shigure walked his first step, when he gurgled his first words. It had been worth all the sleepless nights before and after he was born. Only now did Inigo realize that there had always been a shade of melancholy in his wife’s eyes when she watched their little family, as if she had known she would meet her fate the way she did not too long ago. Had she ever expected to fulfill her promise to meet his parents one day? Or had it all been a lie, concealed by yet another secret that stretched between them.

Before the carefully constructed smile could fall from his face, Owain noticed that Inigo was slowly fading out of the happy mass of celebrating friends. He pulled him back into the circle and undid his cloak with a dramatic flair that only he could pull off. At least one part of their rehearsed entrance went according to plan, Inigo thought as he felt all eyes center on him, or rather, his children. “And we’re not the only one to continue the legendary line of Elite Shepherds, for I present you, the offspring of Inigo of the Azure skies!” Owain presented with a smile on his face, pulling Shigure from the makeshift shawls on his back.

Virion’s eyes went wide, and his mother let out a cry of surprise when he unwrapped a sleeping Soleil from his chest and put her into his mother’s hands.

“This is my youngest, Soleil,” he said while he adjusted her head, making sure not to disturb her slumber. Unlike him, his daughter was a heavy sleeper who was not easily disturbed. His mother stared at her with wide eyes. He took his son from Owain’s hands, noting his trembling lip. “And this little one is my eldest, Shigure. He’s a little bit shy though, not too good with new people,” he apologized when his son buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“Who awe twose people, dada?” Shigure asked with a soft voice, teary eyes darting back and forth.

“Your family, Shigure.” His son did not seem convinced at his words, and only snuggled closer to his chest. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you go.”

Olivia stared at Soleil in wonder, as if she were the sun herself. When she found her voice again, it was full of tears. “She has my hair...”

“She does.” Azura’s beautiful blue gave way for his mother’s pink. It looked wonderful on her, but Inigo was ashamed to admit that was not the reason that he liked it so much. One less reminder of Azura was a blessing for his broken heart. His son looked up at him with his mother’s golden eyes. Even though he would only turn two in a few months, it wasn’t hard to tell that he would only grow to look more like Azura with every passing day. “Shigure takes after his mother though. He looks just like her,” Inigo said softly, kissing the crown of his head.

His father beamed at him. “Where is she? I’d love to meet the woman who tamed my son’s heart.”

“She...” Inigo began, but a lump of emotions clogged up his throat as memories of Azura danced before his eyes. She had worn a dark wedding dress like a true Nohrian princess, despite the fact that it was in name only. It had been a spectacle, regardless of how quickly it had all been organized. He had pledged himself to her forever in the dim light of the astral realm, knowing that he was unworthy of her radiant smile. And yet, she had chosen  _ him _ , a man without a past, to be hers forever. Only, forever didn’t last quite so long.

When it was clear he was not going to continue, Owain cleared his throat and said solemnly: “Inigo’s dear wife could not make the journey back with us.”

His mother’s eyes went wide with pity. “She left you?” she asked thoughtlessly, breaking his heart once more.

“Azura died,” Inigo whispered, saying the words for the first time since he had woken up alone after the final battle. For all those months, they had used euphemisms to describe Azura’s death, but as the cold words fell from his tongue he knew they were true. “You can say it like it is, Owain. Stop tiptoeing around me. I know she’s not coming back.”

“Oh ,  sweetheart...” Olivia cried softly, her arms around his once more. Shigure, too wrapped his tiny hands around his neck. He was too young too understand his sorrow, too young to remember a mother who he resembled so much. He clung to them like a lifeline, while Inigo’s own mother rubbed circles into his back like her dead counterpart had done when he was a young child.

When they parted, Inigo had covered up that gaping hole where his heart used to be with a small smile. “Don’t be,” he told her, his voice still hoarse with tears he had not shed. “I have you again now, and father, and all of our friends. Today… is a happy day. Our ‘glorious leader’ is one year older, and today is not a time for that tale.” He bowed theatrically to Lucina, who did not share his laughter.  _ Come on, smile for me! _ he thought.  _ Anything is better than those pitiful looks! _

Even though few could smile after that, his friends understood, and did not push the subject. “But why did you remain quiet for all of those years? Why hide away, only to reappear like this five years later? We couldn’t help but think the worst when we heard nothing from you three for such a long time,” Virion questioned, and Soleil slept in his arms.

All three of them shared a look before Inigo answered. “We… traveled to a place where we could hardly send letters to anyone. Like an outrealm, but further away, to the mythical kingdom of Nohr.” They had spoken at length about what to tell their parents when they continued on the way to Ylisstol, all agreeing that even if they told the whole truth, it would sound like one of Owain’s fantasies.

“We were called  to  once again  to  vanquish dark forces! To end a tyranny and free the daughter of a dragon! We -” Before he could continue to break their vow of silence, Severa yawned loudly.

“It’s a very long tale that  we’ll  tell you some other time. I’m starving, and we’re all tired.” she proclaimed loudly, setting her sights on Sumia’s cake.

“Of course Severa, sit down,” Chrom said mercifully, perhaps understanding her better than anyone else. “You’re family now. Welcome home.” The smile that Severa shot him was downright blinding, and she quickly turned the conversation around, wanting to know all about what had transpired while they were off saving yet another world.

Inigo listened passively while one friend after another embraced him. Gerome had settled in Wyvern Valley and started a new breeding program. Nah studied with Tiki to become another Voice of Naga, since her bond with the divine dragon had only strengthened in his absence. Noire remained with her mother and seemed surprisingly less psychotic. Brady was on a concert tour and would be arriving in Ylisstol within the month. Morgan and Lucina had been recognized as claimless royalty, and travelled between Plegia and Ylisse on their parent’s behalf. With Robin as queen of the former and Chrom exalt of the latter, Morgan explained happily that it was only a matter of time before the Great Schism was repaired, and the kingdom of Akaneia was restored. Little Lucy, who was playing carefree outside with her friends, would inherit an even larger throne once she came of age. The mere thought made Inigo smile. Everlasting peace between two nations that were as different as night and day, and the dark god dead set on destroying both of them defeated once for all. It seemed impossible before, and here they were, almost nine years after they travelled back in time, a bright new future in their hands.

The party had escalated when Owain had been introduced to his younger counterpart – surprisingly called Odin of all names – as his older brother, and the groundwork for a terrible case of hero worship was laid. It was a wonderful day, the happiest he’d had since the end of the war.

But Ylisse was not his home. His mother belonged to Regna Ferox, and his father was a duke from a different realm. Even though he had spent most of his life within these borders, in this time or the lost future, it was not his home. The war was over, and there was little for him left to do in the capital, save for being a nuisance to his friends.

So when the time came, he said his tearful goodbyes to Severa and Owain, who had been his constant companions since he was a child, and followed his parents to the continent of Valm.

It was midsummer when they arrived, and the world was in bloom,  roses adorning every corner as far as the eye can see. The people had not forgiven their duke for running in their time of need, but they had allowed him to make amends by restoring the country. With Olivia by his side, Rosanne once again flourished, villages repaired and families reunited. The land of his father was a wonderful place, and everyone seemed to be happy. Save for him, at least.

“You look older, wiser,” his father said to him when they sat down in family hearth on the evening of his arrival. Soleil and Shigure had been given their own rooms, and Inigo enjoyed a rare quiet evening without wailing children. Shigure had just hit his terrible two’s, and they were terrible indeed. His father inspected his face in the flickering light of the fireplace. After a moment of contemplation, he continued. “More scars too. That mythical kingdom was not a peaceful realm, I gather?”

Inigo shook his head. “It was not, father,” he admitted, remembering King Garon and his cold-blooded ways. He had shed blood in that tyrant’s name, and it haunted all three of them to this day. Before he could let it sour his mood even further, he pushed the thought away. “But it is now. We fought for five long years, on both the battlefield and out of it. I… when we left, at least, we left it in the hands of a capable leader...”

“And yet, you found time to start a family in-between all the warfare.”

Inigo smiled at his father, clinking their wine glasses together. “Like father, like son, right?”

“It’s good to have you back, Inigo. We have missed your smile,” Virion replied with none of his fancy words for once. “I hope we can see it again sometime soon.”

“Wha -?” Inigo looked up, shocked to his father’s sorrowful eyes.

Virion put his hand on his shoulder, a regretful look on his face, as if  _ he  _ had failed, not Inigo. “Oh, you may be fooling the rest, but I know what it’s like to hold a straight face while you lose everything you hold dear. I can only hope that you don’t repeat my mistakes.”

For a moment, Inigo wanted to tell him everything that had transpired, but he knew that words would never do what they had endured justice. The good, the bad, the terrible…he found that it could not leave his lips. With a shattered voice, he looked at his father as if he were a child once more. “I… May I hold you, father?”

Virion drew him into his embrace before he could finish the sentence. “You’ll never be too old for that my son, no matter how many grandchildren you gift me with.” A dry chuckle escaped his lips. “Though I will admit, I never expected to become a grandparent quite this young...”

Inigo snorted, the ghost of a real smile on his lips. “You’re not  _ that _ young.” 

 

> **_Sakura_ **

 

In all the months that Hinoka had been queen, Sakura had never been officially summoned to her quarters. They were sisters before royalty, Hinoka explained the day after her coronation, and she had sworn that despite that the crown, they would always remain equals. So when a ninja servant came to escort her to Hinoka, Sakura thought about refusing her summons. A queen’s word may be final, but  _ she  _ was first princess now, and an adult to boot. She could ride out to the temple that she had called a home before the war and perform her duties there, waiting for Hinoka to lose her cool and come running after her like a child. The idea was tempting, but one look at the ninja told her that she wouldn’t escape so easily.  

_ So it has come to this, _ she thought. _ My sister would raise a blade against me to force me to do her bidding.  _

She may be the youngest sister, but Sakura would never let the court see her get dragged to her sister’s room. There were already enough rumors floating about her after Kamui’s visit to Hoshido. Sakura had hoped that her words would be enough to scare her away for good, but much to her dismay, the little blood traitor had endured another week at court. At least the point had gotten across: Kamui didn’t speak to Sakura once, though she did look at her with those sorrowful eyes from time to time.  _ Good, _ Sakura thought,  _ let her suffer like we do. _

Instead of being dragged around like a child, Sakura lifted her chin high and took her time getting ready to meet her sister, taking far more time than necessary to pick a kimono. She still wore mostly black, but a dash of color left and right started to make an appearance in her wardrobe. But not today. Today, she needed to remind her sister where her true loyalties should lie: with their dead siblings, not the living.

Once she was finished, the servant took her to the throne room's antechamber. It had been one of her favourite rooms when she was younger, but as she entered, she could only think about how the room used to look before the curtains had been burned, and how the carpet had been replaced with one that did not bear her brother’s blood. Hinoka stood in the center, going through solo exercises with her naginata.

She was graceful with her weapon of choice, her body, mind and blade moving as one.

When the servant announced her arrival, Hinoka dropped her perfect stance and calm visage in a second. Sakura steeled herself, feeling another headache well up behind her eyes as her sister approached her, dismissing the servant without a single word. The second he slid the door closed behind himself, she started shouting.

“Are you happy now?” she accused her with a high voice, sweat on her brows that had nothing to do with exercise “I’ve got fifteen separate Nohrian politicians on my back, thinking they can pull me around now that our public relations with Nohr are in shambles!” She started pacing through the room, but Sakura ignored her, sitting down in seiza position on the centre tatami mat.

Her sister ignored her, her hands in her hair. “And if those bloodhounds weren’t enough, the flame tribe is thinking of renouncing their allegiance to Hoshido. We’ll be all alone, but you don’t care about that, do you? You only care about petty vengeance, not about actually running a country!”

“Why are you angry at me?” she asked calmly when it became apparent that Hinoka wasn’t going to continue on her own.

“Oh,  _ don’t  _ pull that innocent act, Sakura. You’re an adult now, and I’m not Ryouma or Takumi. I won’t baby you,” Hinoka sneered, rolling her eyes. Sakura thought it was rather telling that her older sister was berating her for acting like a child while she displayed such childish behavior herself. “Thanks to your little chat with our sister, she’s nowhere to be found.”

Of all things she had expected Hinoka to say, that had not been it. 

Before she could stop herself, a small victorious smile twisted her lips. “She ran away?” Her voice sounded a bit too hopeful.

Hinoka looked at her with unconcealed disappointment, and it stung more than Sakura would have liked to admit. Then she sank to her knees, her hands in her hair, looking far older than twenty-six. “Yes, together with their youngest prince and a few of their retainers. They sent decoys with the delegation to cover it up, but they dispelled the other day! And on top of everything else, I’m expecting a declaration of war from Xander any day now.”

A splash of blood blinded her vision. Out of pure reflex, Sakura tried to wipe it from her eyes, only to find that they were dry. It was nothing, just the memory of her army and retainers being slaughtered in front of her eyes, seconds after Kamui had promised them safety. Hana’s cries of agony as magic scorched her skin off her bones still haunted her. She closed her eyes forcefully, counted to ten, and opened them again to see Hinoka’s face in front of her own, angry slightly clouded over by concern.

When she found her voice again, it was unsteady. “He wouldn’t do that.” Another memory surfaced, this time of the current king of Nohr. Not the one that had stood on the battlefield with an extended hand and heart towards her blood sister, ready to steal her away into the night. No, she remembered him as he had been that night during the Nohrian ball, how solemn he looked when he made his vow of peace to her. He looked like Ryoma in that moment, and Sakura could not imagine that a man so similar to her late brother would willingly break a promise once it was made.

However, her sister shared none of her certainty. “Why are you so sure? His father invaded us for far less.”

If the throbbing headache hadn’t sapped as much energy from her as it did, she might have explained to Hinoka what occurred that night. Instead, she just crossed her arms in front of her chest and kept her gaze on the wall in front of her. “King Xander is a different man.”

Hinoka sighed deeply for what seemed to be the thousandth time that night. “I believe that too, but every man has one thing they are irrational about, and the  _ entire  _ Nohrian family has a Kamui-sized weak spot.”

“Well, glad to know you have something in common.” It was out of her mouth before she could stop herself, a nasty frown breaking her carefully composed visage. It was the wrong thing to say if she wanted to have a civil conversation with her sister, but an ugly part of herself laughed in delight as Hinoka exploded in indignation.

_ “I _ care about all of my siblings! And unlike you, _ I’m _ thinking about the future instead of wallowing in the past!” she burst out, her hands balled up in fists.

“You mean that it’s easier to forget them than to mourn them!” Sakura cried back, not shrinking down like she would have in the past. That innocence was long lost, and she liked her new self better, empowered by righteous anger rather than being reduced to a stuttering mess that was too eager to please.

Hinoka looked appalled at the very implication. “I miss Takumi and Ryoma every day! With every breath I take, I ache for the past, but I don’t have the luxury for your tears! Hoshido is falling apart as we speak, and somebody has to bury the hatchet and rebuild it.” She gripped her chest, tears in the corner of her eyes.

But Sakura was beyond mercy. “Then why don’t you take Ryoma’s blade? The kings and queens of Hoshido have  _ always  _ had it by their side, and yet here you are, going through the same katas as you always have with a bamboo naginata!” She delivered every word like a stab to the heart, knowing exactly how to hurt her sister most. And oh, how good it felt to be in control for once. “If you want me to go on, then lead the way, oh holy  _ Queen  _ Hinoka!” She finished with a Nohrian curtsy, both crude and disrespectful.

“Don’t talk to me like that! I’m still your older sister, and your queen, and you are far too old for this childish behavior! A sword is not a basis for government, it’s the hand that wields it, the strength to make the hard decisions!” Hinoka countered back, her hands rubbing circles over her temples.

For a second, Sakura wasn’t going to reign in her anger. But a command from her queen was absolute, even if it was spoken in anger. Instead she lowered her tone to a dangerous tone, never speaking above a whisper. “I won’t apologize for what I said because I meant every word.”

Hinoka looked at her like a stranger. “For all ways for you to find your own voice, I wish you didn’t find it in this anger that consumes you,” she said quietly, her hands searching for the familiar weight of her practice naginata. A poisonous silence stretched between them.

With every shouted word, the pressure between her eyes had accumulated until it was making her dizzy. Hinoka’s yelling was nothing compared to the pounding against her skull, and Sakura lowered her heavy head in her hands, seeking relief.

Instantly, Hinoka’s remaining anger gave way for worry as she kneeled before her younger sister. “Are you alright?” Before Sakura could answer, she put a hand on her forehead to check her temperature.

Her hand stung, and Sakura recoiled physically, throwing herself away from Hinoka while yelling, “Don’t touch me!”

When Sakura caught her breath again, Hinoka’s hand was still frozen in mid air, a pained expression in her eyes. The mere meter between them was filled with the memory of every fallen Hoshidan soldier, and for the first time since Kamui had left, Sakura realized that she had put that distance between them herself. She shook the painful thoughts from her mind, and bowed deeply. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that,” she admitted in a small, thin voice.

When she rose again, Hinoka seemed conflicted. “I… we’ll talk about this tonight, like adults, when we’re both calm,” she said eventually, giving her permission to leave. Before Sakura could hurry out of the haunted antechamber, Hinoka shot her a pleading look. “I love you Sakura, even when I’m angry at you.” Her words were quiet, but desperate, and of all things said between them that day, none of them succeeded in making her feel guilty as much as that.

“I love you too, Hinoka.” An apology was at the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it. Her head was throbbing with pain and her fingers twitched, eager to hold something, to fire something, the voice in her head supplied, but Sakura ignored it. 

She thought about going to the shooting range Takumi had taught her to fire a bow in the first place under their mother’s watchful eye. But her own bow felt too heavy in her hands every time she picked it up. It hadn’t been enough to defend her country when it mattered, so why pick it up.

Before she realized it, her feet took her into a different direction, to a place she had avoided like the plague ever since the war had ended. 

Takumi’s room was not too far from her own. T _ he door should probably have been locked,  _ Sakura mused, but then again, who would dare to come into these rooms? Either out of respect, or fear of being haunted by Prince Takumi himself in the afterlife, people steered clear from his quarters.

But Sakura had always been welcome in these sunlit rooms, and the door gave way to her without any protest. The air was stuffy, dust everywhere, dark curtains respectfully draped before the windows. But Sakura didn’t need the light to know her destination. 

She shoved the door closed behind her, and walked in a straight line to Takumi’s study. Her brother would never be reading his books here anymore, falling asleep halfway through a page. 

But his most prized possession remained on the desk. Even in the dark, Sakura felt the pull of her family’s ancestral bow, chanting her name. Carefully wrapped in silk, the Fujin Yumi beckoned her closer, and it was a pull she could not resist. _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody guessed that it was Lucina! Thank you, to everyone who gave feedback. I edited this chapter quite a bit based on your wise words. If anyone is wondering how the Awakening kids carried their children up a wall, go look up baby-wearing. While it is popular in the west as well nowadays, you should see what African women can accomplish while they have one or more children pressed against their body. It's quite amazing, really. 
> 
> I hope this chapter was emotionally satisfying, above all other things. Once again a large shout out to Abby, who beta'd this chapter for hours without once complaining about my abysmal grammar. Truly, you should thank her for this fic. It would not be the same without her. 
> 
> Next week's question: Somebody gets lost in the woods, and other people are found. 
> 
> With some luck, I might be able to post another chapter this week, but no guarantees.


	6. Of Silence and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Valla, baby.

> **_Kamui_ **

 

Kamui awoke on a bed of floating flowers. The sky above her a strange mix of clouds and floating continents. Nothing much had changed, she thought, though the flowers hadn’t been in bloom the last time she was here, and there was no Azura to welcome her into this strange, forbidden land.

She pulled herself out of the water, feeling the warm summer air on her wet skin. Her hair was a mess, and Flora would have despaired at seeing her summer dress in such a state, but with every step that her uncovered feet made on this undiscovered land, she felt a little bit more at home. A strange feeling, befitting such a strange place.

Above her, a continent floated over her head, and she could make out some wildlife grazing on the grass, somehow staying grounded despite that they were upside down. The animals followed a different rules of gravity here than people in the real world, and not for the first time, Kamui wondered if this was all a dream. But the fact that they had found Gunther here was undeniable, even though he was nowhere to be found now. 

The water dripped off her clothing easily, and Kamui looked at her own reflection in the lake. Other than the tan and silvery scars, she hadn’t really changed in appearance since the last time she visited this mysterious place two years ago. This place seemed to have changed as little as she had, save for the flowers that floated on top of the water, bright and purple and nothing like anything she had seen before.

Kamui bowed forward to pick one of the flowers. At the Northern Fortress, she had been educated in the archaic language of flowers in case she would ever need it during courtship, but in all of her many lessons she had never encountered one like this, roots nested deep under the water’s surface but flower floating atop of the water’s surface.

Kamui chuckled bitterly to herself. Her future certainly hadn’t turned out like the one she had been educated for. She could dance, recite the classics and play the piano, but lessons in conflict studies or whatever being Yato’s chosen hero entailed would have been much more helpful.

There were no strange, invisible enemies this time around to disturb the peace of this surreal land, and Kamui thanked her luck for that. They had jumped off the side of the continent and been returned to the Bottomless Canyon last time around, and she was certain she would recognize the exact spot again if she saw it. Leo and her friends were probably worried out of their minds, but something about the land kept her from panicking and turning back. 

Instead, she called forth that primal feeling that always slept somewhere inside of her, and turned into a dragon. Now that the war was over, she hardly ever had a good excuse to turn into her other form, but there was nothing quite like the feeling of the wind blowing against her wings, inviting her to take to the sky.

She tested her wings a few times, allowing them to take her off the ground for half a second. She hadn’t been able to put as much force between them before, but they seemed stronger now, and longer too. Maybe she was still growing, even as a dragon.

She chuckled at the thought of dragon puberty. Once was enough, all those awkward feelings and abrupt changes in her body. Being a dragon came naturally, despite the change being almost instantaneous. 

Kamui sprinted through the meadows, watching the sun set and drown the world in a wash of purple and pink. It made the ruins ahead of her almost beautiful and whole again, but not quite. She remembered them; their duplicates had fought from this point. She could sense the dragon vein nearby, but she resisted the urge to awaken it. It had been a strange experience before, with Azura as her guide. Best not try that without her. But the temple remained its soothing aura, healing the fatigue in her muscles from the run within minutes of entering the broken structure.

Little of the windows and roof remained, but a familiar effigy was mostly spared from the destruction that had literally torn apart the land. For a second, she couldn’t quite place where she had seen it before until memories of Xander’s coronation came to her, how he had solemnly vowed to uphold the peace and care for his country like a father would on the flagstone floor of the throne room. Everything that brought them to this point had all been worth it, she’d thought back then, and she had to tear her eyes off Xander to keep herself from crying. For the rest of the ceremony, she kept her eyes on the ceiling to keep her composure.

Or, to be precise, on this particular effigy. She recalled how the late King Garon had used it to communicate with that foreign god, Anankos. Nohr praised the Dusk Dragon, and yet its king prayed to another unknown god, much to the despair of the Nohrian Inquisition who could prosecute anyone but their king.

A god from a forgotten land, it seemed. Kamui tried to decipher the ancient text carved into the wall, but while it seemed familiar, she could not make anything out of it. Leo probably could, though. He spoke more languages than all of his other siblings combined, and he translated ancient tomes in his free time as a hobby. If there was anyone in all of Nohr who could unlock the secrets about this deserted land, he probably could. They were probably worried about her back in Hoshido, and Kamui resolved to return home.

The cliff they had jumped off last time was nearby, but when Kamui approached it, it seemed to be the only thing to have changed in a country stuck in time. Nothing but unforgiving darkness greeted her where there had been sky looking back at her last time. Something inside of her told her that it would be a bad idea to jump this time, a sixth sense that sounded suspiciously like Lillith. Kamui looked around to see if anyone was there, but she was alone.

Still, her instincts had gotten her this far. She wasn’t about to ignore them now. Kamui turned around and looked for another way out. There obviously wasn’t going to be a thing like a stairway down, but Azura had mentioned that she traveled back and forth occasionally. The lake itself could be a gateway of some sorts, and hadn’t Azura mentioned that only they could travel through it?

The run back to the lake took less time than it had taken her to find the cliff, but that was because she knew where she was going this time around. It was hard to navigate when the various landmarks tended to float away, so instead, Kamui focused on the feeling of the grass underneath her feet, and the many dragon veins running deep within the earth. Like a silk thread, they spelled out a road home, bringing her back to the lake full of floating flowers.

Azura had sung last time to open the portal, and it dawned on Kamui that unknowingly, she done the same earlier today. She transformed back into her human self, and remembered Azura’s song, allowing the words to flow right off her lips.

This time, she was prepared for the light clearing the ripples on the water’s surface, and willingly allowed the force to submerge her into the cold water until her mind went blank.

The next breath of air she took felt heavy in her lungs, and without opening her eyes, she knew she had returned to Hoshido.

  
  


> **_Flora_ **

 

In one moment, Kamui had been singing a quiet song to her reflection in the water, and in the next, she had let out strangled cry and was drowning. Flora knew Kamui could swim, she had taught her herself when they were young on rare Nohrian sunny days when Gunther would take  them to the Fortress’ inner lake to swim. Kamui had complained about the cold, but to Felicia and herself, the icy water was a grim reminder of all they had lost. Felicia had been able to grin and bear it, but Flora had not.

That far-off girl, the maid who had hidden a dagger in her dress at all times, waiting for a chance to slip it between her mistress’ ribs, was long gone. Flora would have looked very strange to  at  the person she was today, abandoning all caution as she dived straight after the woman she had once sought to kill, praying to all the gods she knew that they were not too late. Niles, that insufferable bastard, was being useful for once, and dived straight after her.

But her cloudy vision beneath the water’s surface told her all she needed to know. Kamui was nowhere to be seen, as if the water had swallowed her whole instead of just pulling her under.

“A transportation spell,” Prince Leo muttered after she came up empty-handed for what seemed like the thousandth time. He quickly went through one tome after another, and for the first time since they had carried all his books when they began their journey, Flora was happy that he was a terribly impulsive buyer when it came to books. “It must have been a teleportation spell of some sort, a portal perhaps. It’s the only explanation, and yet I can feel no magical residue in the lake that such a spell would leave behind…”

Flora bit her lip to stop herself from apologizing for the thousandth time. If only she had watched Kamui better! It was her job to look out for her, and despite all her words of fealty, she had failed again.

But words wouldn’t get her back, so instead she dived into the lake once more, deeper this time, until the pressure on her head almost became dense enough to make her faint. She resurfaced once more with empty hands, desperation growing with every breath she took.

“She’s not down there,” Niles said to Flora in a singsong voice, but she had traveled with him long enough to know that his heart wasn’t into his taunting smile. He had stopped diving hours before, electing instead to keep watch over his chosen liege. His hands never strayed from Prince Leo’s shoulder while he muttered magical incantations like a madman. Perhaps he served as a well of magical energy, or maybe his hand was the only thing that kept Prince Leo standing up straight at this point.

Flora felt useless. Freezing the lake would not bring Kamui back, and she had never been allowed to study the ancient tongues that were required for intricate spell casting. And if a gifted sorcerer like Prince Leo couldn’t bring her back, then would it really have mattered if she had learned anything at all?

The only thing that kept her from crying Kamui’s name into the darkening sky was diving down again and again until she would drown from pure exhaustion.   _ A fitting end, _ Flora told herself bitterly,  _ for a traitor like me.  _ She dove again, deeper this time, ignoring the searing protests from her lungs and the blood rushing to her head. 

But it never came to that. In one moment, the murky water was as empty as it was before, and in the next, a white light blinded her, leaving burn marks on her vision. Flora blinked until she could see again, and then almost expelled all of her breath at what she saw. 

Kamui reappeared as suddenly as she had disappeared. Her eyes were glassy, and Flora doubted if she could see her outstretched hand, but she moved and seemed conscious. The wisest thing to do would have been to go back up for air and alert the others, but Flora had never been a wise person to begin with. 

Instead, she pushed herself past her limits, grasped Kamui’s hand, and pulled her back up with her remaining strength. She wasn’t heavy at all, or perhaps the same force that had taken her away brought them both back to safety, but in the end, Flora easily resurfaced. Her head broke the lake’s surface, and her cheeks stung from the cold, clear air. 

The look of utter surprise on her companion’s faces was worth the total exhaustion.

“Kamui!” Silas cried, quick on his feet to help his best friend out of the water.

“Not so loud, please...” Kamui muttered, her eyelids fluttering as she came to. Flora looked for signs of hypothermia, but found none on her mistress. Her skin maintained the healthy complexion it had adopted during their summer holiday in Hoshido, looking nothing like the blue skinned corpse Flora had expected to find. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she wasn’t sure if it was from relief or fear.

“Oh, thank the heavens you’re okay!” Silas ignored Kamui’s words and embraced her fiercely, tears of relief falling down his face in spades. Prince Leo put his arm around her next, seemingly trying to keep up a front of aloofness, but the look of sheer relief in his eyes gave him away.

“I’m so sorry to worry you,” Kamui apologized time and again after they had handed her a towel and explained what had transpired after she disappeared into the lake. She wasn’t nearly as wet as she should have been, and while Flora’s dress remained soggy and uncomfortable, Kamui’s quickly dried.

“Did you find what you were looking for, sister?” Prince Leo asked, his composure returned, but the rest of their companions looked strangely at them.

Kamui nodded. “The land is still there, all I had to do was sing Azura’s song to create a gateway.” She rummaged through her dress, looking for something. Then she pulled a delicate flower from her bra, making Leo flush and wonder out loud why she would hide it there of all places. 

“Where else would I hide it? The royal dressmaker apparently thinks that women don’t need pockets. Anyway, I thought I should take something with me to prove that wherever I just went was real.”

Flora had made a study of flowers back in the Northern Fortress whenever she could. They were her namesake, and it was perhaps the only subject that she would never been able to study when she finally returned to the Ice Tribe. But in all her books, this was a flower she had never seen before.

Prince Leo seemed to share her sentiment, gently taking it from his sister’s hands. “How strange…” he muttered to himself while he twirled it between his fingers. Then he looked up. “Do you mind if I cast a hex over it to determine its origins?”

Kamui nodded, but an irrational part of Flora wanted to stop him and tell him to preserve such a beauty. Nohrian magic always came at a price, and she had seen enough of the prince’s magic to know that such a hex was a one-time use on the delicate flower. But she held her tongue and watched the wonderful purple petals go up in dark flames to the tones of Leo’s voice, who whispered ancient incantations with fluttering eyelids. When he opened his eyes again, he looked more puzzled than he had before.

“What is it?” Kamui asked before any of them could.

“Well, it certainly isn’t from Nohr. Our soil could certainly never produce such rich magical textures without poisoning them with dark magic,” he explained, carefully storing the ashes in a glass jar before handing it to Niles for storage. “And in our many months of travel through Hoshido, I’ve certainly never seen this flower before.”

“I’d never seen it before either, but they grow in spades on the surface of the water,” Kamui explained, and she proceeded to tell them all about a fantastical land that she had visited. It was a good thing that Flora had seen the flower herself and visited the astral realm a few times before the end of the war, or else she would have never believed the tall tales her mistress weaved.

“Who would have thought that there would actually be a mystical land underneath a lake?” Prince Leo wondered out loud when she finished.

Kamui looked insulted, or at least as much as she could. “You mean you didn’t believe me all this time?” she demanded, a growl in her voice that sounded strangely similar to her dragon form.

Leo threw up his hands in defense. “I’m sorry Kamui, but you can’t accuse me for having doubts, dear sister. You’ve always had colorful dreams and fantasies.”

“Most of which came true later,” Kamui threw back, and Flora had to hand it to her. Once, when they were small, Kamui had repeatedly dreamed of turning into a large dragon. She’d cried for days without end because it also meant she hurt people she cared about. The nightmares had eventually faded, and the fear disappeared, but the vision had come true all the same. Flora had heard the servants in Shirasagi whisper about the destruction Kamui had caused the first time she transformed. “My mother was a seer, apparently,” she added after a short silence.

Prince Leo massaged his temples. “Even so, we’ve been chasing Odin’s fantasies for weeks on end without results. I merely had my doubts.”

“Kamui, why didn’t you tell me you were looking for a land like that? We could have gone together, and we wouldn’t have been as worried as we were. Friends tell each other these things...” Silas’s voice sounded dejected, and Kamui’s displeasure was immediately replaced with guilt.

She sighed and put a hand on her best friend’s shoulder. “As Leo said, I had started to doubt my own memory. But this flower proves what I’ve seen…” Then she perked up again with stars in her eyes. “Oh, you should have seen it! The air is so pure there, nothing like it is at home, or even here! And the lands… oh, you’ll know what I mean once I take you there.”

Flora protested once for the sake of propriety, but in the end, she was overruled once again by the combined enthusiasm of the royal siblings. Deep inside, she wasn’t too sad about it, but someone had to be the voice of reason when Prince Leo was too caught up at the prospect of new arcane knowledge. A half an hour later they were all fully armed, wading into the cold water of the lake under the cover of darkness.

Kamui began to sing Azura’s song, first uncertainly, but with more confidence later on. It was lovely, even from an unpracticed singer like her mistress, especially once a dim light started appearing on the surface of the water. Kamui’s dragonstone, crudely made into a necklace, lit up a faint blue. Flora wondered how they had all missed this the first time as a pillar of light slowly pulled Kamui forward until she faded into the water. 

Flora expected it to take her next, but only Kamui submerged into it, leaving the rest of them unaffected no matter how far they reached forward. All too quickly the light faded, leaving four bewildered and wet people grasping at the straws while the second princess of Nohr had once again faded away from existence.

Flora dived after her, but only to make sure her suspicions were correct. They were: Kamui was nowhere to be found. Despite Prince Leo’s calming words, she still felt anxious. What if she wouldn’t return? Traveling between planes of existence was a precarious business, even if they were all well-versed in it after the war.

Kamui resurfaced in a blinding flash of light mere minutes later, and was back to her senses even quicker than before. Out of breath, she asked, “Why didn’t you follow me?”

“We couldn’t,” Silas said, helping her to her feet.

Kamui looked surprised for a second, and then had that distinct gleam in her eyes that she always got when she remembered something. Flora would have chuckled if there was any energy in her body left to feel amusement. Even after all those years of war, Kamui really hadn’t changed much from that kind princess locked in the tower.

“Now I remember!” she exclaimed finally. “Azura said something about only the two of us being able to enter and leave through the lake, though she wouldn’t tell me why.”

“That would have been nice to know before we all got wet, milady,” Niles deadpanned before continuing on a more lecherous tone. “Though I don’t mind getting a little wet from time to time.” He had the audacity to add a wink to his words, and Flora barely resisted the urge to hit him. He had  _ no  _ right to speak to her like this. But as usual, the implication went straight over Kamui’s head, and nobody else seemed to take offense.

“Damn her and her secrets! Why did she always insist on being unnecessarily secretive?” Prince Leo cursed, his eyes narrowed to slits. He rubbed his temples again and again, trying to make sense of it all. “And even if she was correct, how did you take Gunther with you to this forbidden land?”

“We jumped off the edge of the canyon last time,” Kamui explained as if it were the most logical thing in the world. It really wasn’t, and the looks her companions adopted reflected the utter disbelief she felt herself. “Don’t look at me like that! That wasn’t even the strangest thing that happened that day! That was why I was gone for such a long time earlier, I was trying to find the same edge,” Kamui sputtered back.

“But you couldn’t find it?” Silas asked with a perplexed look on his face.

Kamui shook her head. “No, I did find it. But it was different than it was the last time, and something told me not to jump this time. So I took the lake since it felt safer.”

Prince Leo groaned out loud. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for once, common sense and your gut feeling have  _ finally  _ aligned.”

“Stop teasing me Leo, or I might start bringing up some stories about  _ you,  _ starting with your inability dress properly in the dark,” Kamui teased back. 

That shut him up quickly enough, and instead of bickering, they tried twice more to enter the land underneath the lake. But it was to no avail. Every time, the portal would refuse to swallow up anyone but Kamui, who returned minutes later with new purple flowers.

“I don’t need all of them,” Prince Leo said before unceremoniously dumping a flower into Flora’s unsuspecting hands. When she looked up surprised, he elaborated with a frown. “Don’t think I didn’t see the look on your face when I burned the others.”

Flora had no answer to that, and instead cradled the flower closer to her chest while she watched him hex yet another one out of existence.

They would have probably tried to enter the land underneath the lake for at least a dozen times, if Niles hadn’t suddenly drawn his bow and aimed it at the sky. Seconds later, a dark shadow clouded over the moon, growing ever larger.

But it was no shadow at all, it was a wyvern, and riding astride it, an old acquaintance.

“Beruka! What are you doing here?” Kamui greeted her the second she landed next to the lake’s edge, still wet from her previous visit into the lake. Niles lowered his bow, but his eye didn’t become any less wary. Flora took her hand away from the dagger hidden in her dress.

“The same should be asked of you, Lady Kamui, Lord Leo,” Beruka said with little formality. She was a royal retainer, and could get away with little more than a tiny bow to both royals this far away from court.

She had not come alone, it seemed. Kaze appeared from the back of her wyvern, though he looked downright miserable from the flight. “I’m sorry milady, I have failed my mission. The replicates disappeared a few days ago, causing an uproar at your disappearance.” He kneeled deeply before Kamui, his head lowered in shame.

Prince Leo’s eyes widened and a look of gloom spread over his face, but Kamui shook her head. “At ease, Kaze. It was our fault for staying away as long as we did,” she said as she offered him her hand, pulling him to his feet.

“His majesty and Lady Camilla are worried sick over your disappearance. I’ve been sent to escort you home immediately,” Beruka said tonelessly, but no less threateningly.  Her large killer axe swayed with every step she took.

Kamui sighed, and led them all to their makeshift camp that had been  abandoned ever since she disappeared. “Tomorrow, we’re not done here yet.”

Beruka remained quiet for a moment, closing her eyes. “You truly are heartless if you are willing to put them through another day of grief.”

That froze Kamui dead in her tracks. “They’re  _ that  _ worried?” she asked, voice fragile at the idea of causing her beloved siblings any pain.

Flora had wondered time and again during their travels what consequences their little holiday would have, but it seemed they would be even larger than she had imagined when Beruka spoke again.

“The peace is at stake.”

Kaze elaborated for the silent assassin. “There have been no official statements, but by now rumors of what happened at the Hoshidan court last month have spread all over the continent. And with the prince and princess of Nohr suddenly disappearing, accusations are flying in every direction. It’s….messy,” he ended, his voice sad.

Kamui’s eyes darted to the lake for a second, guilt twisting her features, taking all of her childish glee from before away. When she spoke again, it was with the voice of a woman who had led an army through a war. “My apologies for putting you all through such grief. This was never our intention.”

Leo sighed deeply, sharing a look with his sister. “Then we’ll return with haste, won’t we, sister?”

Kamui nodded. “Of course. We fought tooth and nail for this peace, and nothing is worth more than that. We can return here later.”

Everyone voiced their agreement, a sullen cloud replacing the curiosity that had possessed them minutes before. When Beruka turned around to take care of her wyvern, Kamui pressed a finger to her lips and looked all of her companions sternly into the eye.

The message could not have been more clear. Flora bowed deeply in acknowledgement. “I’ll pack your bags, milady.”

 

> **_Sakura_ **

 

Sakura pulled the bowstring tight, as she had for every night for the past month. Summer was almost at an end, the leaves already turning into a beautiful red. This had been Ryoma’s favorite time of the year, a dull voice in the back of her head reminded her.

She was alone at the shooting range. The guards hadn’t dared to come back after she had sent them away the first night, angry anticipation poisoning each word on her lips. In a large bag, she had carried one of Hoshido’s national treasures. She was a princess of Hoshido, and for a few hopeful hours Sakura had hoped that by using her brother’s bow, she would at least find some peace in his passing, or the strength to do what he no longer could. But no matter how many times she put her hand to the bow’s frame, the night remained dark. The arrows of light that had so effortlessly formed in Takumi’s hands never appeared in hers, no matter how hard she tried. In the end, she threw the ancient bow on the ground, and retrieved a fire scroll.

She had tried to burn the bow many times **,** but the gold-painted bamboo would not catch the flames no matter how much she fanned them, just like how the white arrows of light wouldn’t form under her fingertips. The legendary weapons choose their warriors, or so the legend said, and only obeyed them once they had picked a hero to carry out their destiny. It seemed that even in death, the Fujin Yumi refused to obey anybody but her brother.

It would have been fitting to bury its ashes besides Takumi’s, but no matter how many unholy fires she called forth, the weapon remained unscathed. Now it remained in her closet, hidden between dark mourning kimonos she knew the servants wouldn’t dare to touch. She had thought to return the bow to the royal treasury where it belonged, but that almost felt like admitting defeat to Hinoka, and that was the one thing she could not do.

Even though she was not deemed worthy by the weapon, in the end she did find peace on the shooting range, firing arrows until her mind was quiet and her fingers sore. Over the course of summer, her hair had grown long enough that she needed to pull it out of her face into a pony tail, reminding her of all the times she had combed Takumi’s long hair. Hers was thinner, more prone to knots, but she couldn’t bring herself to cut it off regardless of the inconvenience.

She pulled the string back, aimed, and released the it in one fluid motion, feeling the wooden arrow fly straight into the target. It almost hit the center, but it wasn’t quite right. And Sakura adjusted her posture just like Takumi had taught her before this messy war destroyed their family, before Hinoka could no longer look her in the eyes without pity, before all that remained of her brothers was a memorial stone and some ashes.

Not all of him was gone, she reminded herself as she pictured the symbol of the Nohrian royal family on the target, barely visible in the dim light of her torch. This time, when she let the arrow fly, it hit dead center.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final summer chapter! Surely an eventful time of the year. I'm being a little bit liberal with the Curse of Valla, but notice how Kamui never actually says the name of the land or anything that can be found on it? I have the headcanon that the curse lies within the name of the kingdom, as well as the things found inside. As long as such names are not mentioned, or anything really particular is mentioned, they could be talking about a different place altogether, and the curse is not triggered. By adding boundaries, the curse is more concrete to me, and Kamui can accidentally abide it. The reason that Mikoto and Azura do not do this as well is because they simply don't know the full content of the curse, and are rather safe than sorry after what happened to Arete. If anybody can guess the curse's secondary effect, then I applaud you!
> 
> The flower mentioned is a lotus flower. Since Hoshido has the Cherry Blossom and Nohr has Roses, I wanted a separate flower to symbolize Valla. There is more to it, kudos to the person who can find the subtle hint towards that future plot point.
> 
> And you didn't think I would give Sakura the Fujin Yumi that easily, did you now? The bow is as competitive as Takumi himself, and she'll have to prove herself to it before it will awaken beneath her fingertips.
> 
> In the next chapter the gang returns home, and another character reminiscences of different times underneath an autumn tree. That's enough vague hinting for today! Enjoy this chapter, the next will follow as soon as my beta is done with it.


	7. Under the Autumn Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watch your author reverse a stereotypical female trope on her readers while the first leaves of Autumn fall!

> **_Xander_ **

 

Xander paced through his study. Patience had always been a practiced virtue, never something that came naturally to him. Now, mere hours after Beruka arrived with the good news, and mere minutes after his lost siblings had set foot back into Krakenburg, he simply couldn’t wait any longer. He looked at his pocket watch for the thousandth time, wishing he was outside swinging his sword into the dark sky until this nightmare was just a memory. Why were they taking this long? He had ordered the entire staff to bring his siblings to his private study the second they arrived, and he had seen them walk up the bridge towards the main entrance almost fifteen minutes before. Xander knew from experience that it took less than eight minutes to climb to flight of stairs and cross the hallway to his study,. Why weren’t they here yet?

Seconds before he could check his watch again, a servant announced Leo and Kamui’s presence. 

Xander whirled around, expecting to find them covered in cuts and bruises. Instead, Leo looked healthier than he ever had before, his pale complexion slightly darker than it was before he left. His eyes were sharp in a way that they hadn’t been since he had been forced to kill the man they had called a father all of their lives.

But the greatest change was in Kamui. She positively radiated warmth. Her tanned skin contrasted with her snow white hair and fiery red eyes stronger than ever before. Her smile was positively radiant, as if she had absorbed the Hoshidan sunshine herself to shine down on the dark days of Nohr in its stead. Xander’s breath caught in his throat at the very sight of her, all his anger momentarily forgotten.

Xander pulled both of them in his embrace. Leo had grown taller over the years, but Xander was no short man himself, and broader to boot, and Kamui had never grown past his shoulders. “Thank the gods you have returned.” The prayer fell from his lips, muttered into the crown of Kamui’s hair as Leo looked up at him in annoyance when he released them. “Are you both in good health?”

“Better than ever, Xander!” Kamui beamed, but before she could derail the conversation with her enthusiasm about their little holiday, all of Xander’s sleepless nights came back to him, and along with it, his anger.

“What were you two thinking!?” he bellowed loudly, causing both his siblings take a step back in surprise at his outburst. What had they expected?

“We’re sorry, Xander...” Kamui and Leo muttered in unison, Leo’s eyes locked on his folded hands. Kamui’s eyes never left  Xander’s, ensuring that he knew she meant every word of it. He knew that she had more experience with apologizing, but it was not enough to placate him. 

Xander rubbed his temples, letting himself fall into his chair. “Do you have  _ any  _ idea what you put us through when the news came that you two had disappeared into smoke?”

“I sent a letter explaining our plans,” Leo protested, still calm and collected, but Xander was having none of it.

“No, you sent a letter full of lies, explaining very little,” Xander corrected him harshly, and Leo finally looked taken aback. The boy was smart, he would admit that any day, but had he really expected that his little scheme would work like it had with Father? And why had he felt the need to lie to him in the first place? They had grown apart slightly after the war, all of which was Xander’s fault, but the flash of fear in his brother’s eyes hurt more than he would like admit. Xander willed his voice to a less frightening tone. “I received a letter from Queen Hinoka the same day, who told me a  _ very  _ different story. By the gods, Camilla and I were beside ourselves with worry!”

“I never lied brother, we  _ did  _ tour the countryside of Hoshido during our holiday,” Leo replied in clipped tones, his hand on his hip in defiance.

Anger flared up in Xander again, and he would have raised his voice again if Kamui hadn’t interfered. “Stop arguing, both of you.” Her voice was calm, but commanding like an experienced general, and Xander, ever the military man, complied without question. “This was my idea, and if you need to blame anyone, then it should me. I don’t know what Leo told you in his letter, but whatever he said, he said for my sake.”

Leo looked about to protest. “Sister…”

“What happened in Hoshido was a personal matter, one that shouldn’t affect our countries’ relationship. However, that being said, I needed a break from all of this,” she said before Leo could contradict her, making a wide gesture with her arms to accentuate her words. “I may be a princess of Nohr now, but I was a princess of Hoshido first. I needed the past month to reconnect with my roots, and Leo was kind enough to stay by my side while I did. So if you’re going to yell at anyone, then yell at me!” Her final words were delivered with more passion than the rest. Once again, he was reminded that Kamui was a woman who had rallied an army of unlikely allies to fight against impossible odds, despite how many fancy ball gowns that Camilla had dolled her up in before. She stood defensively before Leo, as if Xander would ever hurt any of his siblings.

Her eyes were now dark red, and he knew she would not budge to see reason until she relented her protective side. “Of all the irresponsible things...” he muttered to himself, smoothing out the crease between his eyebrows with his fingers in vain before turning to his younger brother. “Leo, you’re dismissed. We’ll talk about this later once Kamui and I have sorted this out.”

“But -” he protested, but Xander silenced him with a raised hand.

“You’re tired, and Camilla has some choice words for you as well that might last long into the night if you don’t hurry to her,” he said, attempting a teasing smile to lighten the mood. 

“I...” he started, whatever he wanted to say dying on his lips before sighing  deeply. “Of course, brother.” His voice sounded resigned, but his deep bow spoke of nothing but mockery.. Xander waited till he closed the door behind him, noting to himself that he should have a heart to heart with Leo sooner rather than later.

“You can’t protect him forever. He’s an adult,” he said in response to Kamui’s single, unimpressed eyebrow. With her hands on her hips like that, no blood relation be damned, she looked more like an angry Camilla than she had any right to.

Her voice was just as deceptively sweet. “So are you. Let’s act like adults, and stop yelling at each other.”

“Surely, you must understand why I’m angry,” Xander almost pleaded, offering Kamui a seat. “When we received the news you were gone, we thought we had lost you to the Hoshidans again. Would a truthful letter have been too much to ask for?”

She seemed conflicted for a second, and he could tell that she had considered it. “You would have retrieved us the second we send one, we couldn’t risk it.”

“You’re damn right we would have,” Xander admitted without shame. “Kamui, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Camilla and I haven’t slept a full night since I’ve ascended the throne. We might have won the war, but we lost so much more in the process. As much as I loath to admit it, Nohr is dying, and I need all of you with me to keep it alive.” Admitting weakness had never been his strong point, but she had always been his only exception.

“I know that,” she said calmly, putting her warm hand on his freezing ones, her eyes never leaving his. “And I won’t run again. I promise you that. But there was something we needed to do.”

That perked his attention. He hadn’t wanted to believe the rumors echoing through the castle for days, but he couldn’t stop his heart from sinking deep into his shoes. His voice was carefully composed when he spoke again. “Pray tell me, what could have been more important than our family, than Nohr?”

“Father,” she said, as if that explained everything.

“I don’t understand.”

She sighed, brushing her hand through her silvery hair. “Have you never wondered what possessed him in the first place? Where Azura went, where Laslow went?”

The first question felt like an arrow through his heart, but the latter two were less painful to speak about. He remembered how Laslow had come into his service years before, and the cryptic apology he had given him days after his coronation. “I… always knew Laslow would leave one day. He wasn’t from our lands, and he outright told me that he wouldn’t stay with us after the war was over.”

“But do you know where he went?” Kamui pressed, her eyes inquisitive.

“He would never say,” he admitted, seeing the hope in her eyes snuff out. “But what does that have to do with all of this?”

Kamui rolled her eyes, and Xander thought they weren’t exactly on the same page. “Because Azura knew about King Garon before any of us did. I don’t know how she came to that conclusion, but I do know that she tried to break the hold of whatever that thing was on Father long before we knew what was going on.” 

That was news to Xander, and  his eyes widened. He would take the shame of being unaware of their father’s condition to the grave, and he would not be surprised if it continued to haunt him in the afterlife. But if Kamui had known about Father’s possession before his death, and Azura did as well, then  _ he  _ was at fault for everything because they couldn’t trust him enough to confide in him. It was on the tip of tongue when Kamui spoke again, unaware of his inner turmoil. “And now they’ve all disappeared into thin air, apparently to a land we can’t find on any map. And trust me, Leo and I have searched high and low. But wherever this Ylisse is, it’s not part of our known world.”

He’d never heard of that name either, and as crown prince, he could safely say that his studies had been top notch. In his extended military career, not once had he heard of such a land. Either it was another story created by the colourful former retainers, or… “Are you implying they had a hand in this?”

“No! But it’s been a half a year since the end of the war, and we’re still not any closer to discovering who the real culprit was, and how it possessed people without any of us realizing anything. It happened to father, and it happened to Takumi. Who says it won’t happen again?”

“Because we defeated it,” he said brusquely, too quickly, but even to himself, that sounded unbelievable. His father had not been weak, and Prince Takumi had been a fearsome opponent till the very end. If men like them could be twisted like that, what did that mean for the rest of the world? He stopped his thoughts before they circled into what-ifs and what-should-have-been. The past was a foreign realm they could never visit again, and it should be buried among our loved ones. There was no sense in waiting on that graveyard for the past to rise again.

He leaned forward in his chair and reluctantly put a comforting hand on her knee, speaking in soft tones. “Kamui, Father is gone and so is your brother. I know it is hard on you to accept it – and trust me there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of it – but it’s in the past. We have a future to worry about, and it is no less grim.”

“But Xander...” she pleaded, but he interrupted her before she could work her magic on his heart and make him relent.

“No, Kamui,” he said softly, but not without resolve. “I’ve always indulged you because you are my precious little princess, but as the king of Nohr, I no longer have that luxury. You will  _ stop  _ chasing this pipe dream, at least for now.” Perhaps when former soldiers ate dinner with their families instead of in the barracks, and when the Nohrian Inquisition was not knocking on his door every other minute, he would formally create a search party for Azura and the missing retainers. But all those resources could be spent on better things right now, like keeping their hard-won peace.

Kamui looked at him with a desperation in her eyes, not the anger he had expected from her. She opened her mouth to say something that might sway his will, but the words never made it past her lips. Instead she sighed, straightened her back and nodded. His heart broke a little at seeing her like this, but he steeled himself. Camilla could soothe her later, hear about all of her troubles. His duty was to his crown first, as much as he hated himself for it.

He cleared his throat when he caught her staring longingly out of the window. “Now, there’s another issue that we have to discuss.” 

Kamui yawned, stretching her arms in the air until one of her joints popped, and she gave a sigh. “Does it have to be now? I’m very tired and I’m sure Jakob is beside himself with worry.”

Oh she had no idea. The second news had come of his mistress’ disappearance, her faithful butler had abandoned his wife and newborn child to search for her, cursing himself and every incompetent member of the staff with every step. Xander hoped the word of Kamui’s return had reached him already, that poor man. 

“This should be addressed earlier rather than later, I think,” he admitted. Xander swallowed deeply, and broached the topic he had dreaded even more than the one before. “When it became known you and Leo had disappeared together, the court started talking. So before I have to hear it from the rumor mill, I’d rather have an answer straight from you. Is there anything between the two of you that I should know?”

Kamui burst into laughter,  but it died quickly when she realized he was serious. “What are you implying, brother?”

“You know very well what I mean, Kamui,” he gritted out, not wanting to actually say the words out loud. “You two aren’t related by blood, and you’re close in age. It wouldn’t be unthinkable that something would… bloom… between the two of you.” A vision of Kamui sparkling in a dark purple and golden dress unwilingly appeared before him, his brother at her side. They were smiling, and Xander should have been happy for them. But he’d never been a selfless man, no matter how hard he tried to stop his heart from breaking.

“Is that what people are saying? That Leo and I _ eloped?” _ Kamui exclaimed much louder than she should have, unafraid to say what he could not get past his lips. “Gods, and you  _ believed _ them? Leo’s my brother, and it wasn’t like we were alone! Silas, Niles and Flora were with us the entire time. They can confirm that  _ nothing  _ happened during our trip,” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.  

He should not have felt so relieved. “I thought as much,” he admitted. Camilla had laughed at the accusations, but Kamui had always been like an autumn whirlwind, more unpredictable than the ocean’s waves. She had a raw beauty that only a fool could deny, and lesser men than his brother had fallen for her. But thankfully, that hadn’t been the case. The beast inside of Xander’s heart rejoiced shamefully.  “But I had to know for certain.”

A look of betrayal passed over Kamui’s face, like an arrow through his chest. Her voice was soft and she refused to meet his eyes. “Xander, do you really think so little of me that I wouldn’t have told you if I married someone? That I wouldn’t want all of you there with me on my wedding day, if that will ever happen at all?”

He cursed himself. Of course his sister would have never been that inconsiderate. What really mattered is she had chosen them, and she paid the price for it. “I… I should have known,” Xander whispered, bowing his head. “My apologies, little princess. I haven’t slept well since we heard you had gone missing.” Excuses, excuses. Perhaps he should send her to her room, and speak to her tomorrow after Camilla had her say and his mind was sharper after a night’s sleep.

Moments before he could dismiss her, two warm hands combed gently through his hair, angling the crown at an awkward tilt on his head. He looked up only to look straight into Kamu’s eyes, sitting on her knees before him with a concerned look in her big red eyes. “You look pale, Xander. You should take better care of yourself,” she chided as she carefully took the crown from his hair and put it on the table. For a beautiful moment, he was rendered speechless as she hummed Azura’s song while massaging his temples. It was a comforting gesture that Camilla used to do to her when she was young, but Kamui had never done it to him. His head felt infinitely lighter, and it had nothing to do with the weight of the crown on his head. He closed his eyes in surrender.

Tomorrow he would push her away again, focus on being the king and brother she deserved to have. But tonight he was so very tired, and so very glad she was safe and sound and home. He would allow himself this weakness, if only for a moment. 

It was Kamui who broke the spell, her voice still as melodic as it had been while she hummed for him. “I’m sorry I put you through all that. I promise I’ll be a better sister and a better princess from now on.”

“That’s… very kind of you,” Xander said carefully. This was dangerous. There were things she should never know, the demons inside him should be his and his alone. With pain in his heart, he made a decision. “But perhaps it’d be better if I assigned you elsewhere for the time being. To dispel the rumors.”  _ And take you far away from me, where you can be free and happy,  _ he added in his mind.

Kamui’s hand froze, and he took the opportunity to place some distance between them. “What? But we haven’t seen each other in almost two months!” she exclaimed indignantly, scrambling back to her feet.

“The Ice Tribe has been petitioning me daily. Only yesterday, their leader Kilma and I had a private audience over the fate of Nohr, and the Ice Tribe’s part in it,” Xander spoke, remembering the man. He was as cold as his lands, but his heart bled for his people and Xander could appreciate that in a ruler.

Xander’s eyes instantly dropped to the way Kamui was biting her lip, conflicted between her curiosity and her displeasure at being sent away. “What did he say?”

“He knows as well as we do that the tribe can not survive without outside support. It snows nine months per year, and in the remaining three, the soil is too salty to be sowed. They’re gifted mages, crafters and hunters, but they cannot survive on that alone. They need our protection and food as much as we need their leather, weapons, and tomes,” he summed up quickly while he watched her return to her chair. 

“I never knew the situation was so dire,” she said softly, her hands crossing over her heart.

Kamui, for all her infinite potential as a charismatic leader, always had some strange blindspots. “That’s why I’m telling you now. Their leader respects you above anyone else, maybe even considers you one of his own, and he is infinitely distrustful of our royal house, perhaps with good reason. Perhaps you can negotiate what I cannot. Otherwise I might have to agree to his other offer, just for the sake of Nohr.” They had negotiated for a month through letters before the he finally agreed to visit the capital, and even then, they had not been able to reach an agreement. Kilma, like most tribals, was headstrong and suspicious of outsiders. 

Kamui picked up on the drop in his tone immediately, her brow furrowing in worry. “You’re frowning even more than usual. Whatever did he say to make you feel this strongly?”

He contemplated not telling her, but figured she would find out regardless anyway. “He offered his daughter’s hand in marriage,” Xander said swiftly, watching her eyes grow wide.

Chief Kilma had told him that Flora was a diligent woman with practical knowledge about both Nohr and the Ice Tribe, with personal ties to the royal family. She would make a fine queen, the man had argued.

_ What about your other daughter? _ Xander had asked instead of answering, because he had visited the Northern Fortress for many years, and met both Felicia and Flora many times. One did not go without the other.

_ Felicia will succeed me in her sister’s stead, and the Ice Tribe will be secured with a favorable ruler for many generations to come, if your child, one of our own blood, will wear the crown after you. We don’t trust you lineage, not after everything your father did to us under the banner of Nohr. But we are willing to trust you, if you meet us in the middle. _

Xander had derailed that conversation with practiced ease, his heart beating dully in his chest. He had known he would never marry for love – the woman of his affections was not someone he had any right to anyway, nor did he deserve her – but to be propositioned so boldly had been a surprise to him.

Kamui seemed equally surprised, her eyes blown wide and gasping for air. She’d been sheltered all her life, Xander realized belatedly, raised with tales of true love and happy endings. In the real world, the princess rarely ever married the man of her dreams, and a king was wedded to his country above all.

When she regained her tongue, her voice was soft. “What did you say?”

“I neither agreed nor disagreed,” he said, not meeting her eyes while he resumed his pacing through the room.

Her next question did not surprise him. “Do you even like Flora?”

“She a diligent woman, and I can appreciate that.” They had spoken once during the war, after the long siege of Hoshido. Despite her own wounds, she refused to lay down and rest before her mistress was well taken care of. He had ordered her to take better care of herself, and before she could stop herself, she advised him to do the same. As soon as the words had been out of her mouth she had regretted them, blushing a bright pink and excusing herself. 

He didn’t dislike her. But there was a reason that his spies kept her under particular scrutiny, even after the war had ended. “Her loyalty has been questioned before, and I don’t know her well. An arranged marriage seems premature,” he added with a detached voice.

“How are you so calm about all of this? This is your life you’re talking about!” Kamui exploded, taking him aback. The red in her eyes shone brighter, and some of her more draconic features seemed to light up along with them. He hoped she was wearing her dragonstone on her body. 

“I don’t have the luxury for such feelings. I’ve known all my life that I would never marry for love. I merely hadn’t thought that I would have to marry this soon,” he admitted to her, confronting her with the truth of the matter.

“Did you speak with Flora about this?” Kamui demanded before shaking her head in confusion. “Wait, of course you didn’t. She was with us the entire time.”

“I believe her father is informing her about the matter as we speak.” The chief of the Ice Tribe was scheduled to leave tomorrow evening, most likely with his daughters, unless Xander accepted his proposal to court Flora, which reminded him of another matter. “Regardless of what happens next, it would be prudent to release both her and her sister from your service as your maids.”

“Felicia hasn’t been a maid since the war began. She works under Camilla nowadays,” Kamui reminded him, a proud but sad look in her face. Xander knew that they had been friends for years. “But Flora… if she wants to go, then I won’t stop her. She’s always been a friend to me, and I know better than anyone what it feels like to be kept away from your home.” 

“Kamui...” If she was still a little girl and he was nothing but her doting older brother, he would have wrapped her in his arms.

“And by that, I mean you. Home is where the heart is, Xander. And wherever you, Camilla, Leo and Elise are, that’s where I want to be too.”

Xander’s breath caught in his throat. Those words would haunt him till the grave, twisting his soul in the sweetest way. “You honor me with your words,” he said quickly, his voice nothing more than a breath of air. He was so proud of her, standing defiantly before him, like the leader and woman he had always known she could become. It felt wrong to order her to go, even if it was with his right as her king. So instead, he asked her once more. “Will you go to the Ice Tribe?”

Kamui shook her head, and he watched her long wild hair sway back and forth along to the same rhythm, spellbound. “No, I’ll stay by your side, and stop your stupid selfless self from making any decisions you’ll regret later.”

“But little princess-” he protested, but stopped when she held her hand up, not unlike he had done before.

“You were right. I’ve been neglecting my duties for far too long. But my duties don’t lie with the Ice Tribe, they lie here in Windmire, with you.” Her voice was crystal clear, determination shining through. “If I go and talk to them, it wouldn’t be the same. You said they don’t trust your house? Well, as you said before, I’m not technically your sister, I’m not your blood. Sending me would send the wrong message, and after that catastrophe in Hoshido, I’m not sure I’m cut out for diplomatic missions.”

He wasn’t so sure about that last part, but the rest made sense, and he found himself nodding along with her. “I… You make a valid point. I’ll send Leo instead.”

“Send Elise with him. She has a heart of gold, and she was with me the day we quelled the rebellion. I’ve seen stronger, crueler men fall before the power of her charming smile, if she applies herself to it,” Kamui suggested.

Despite the fact that Elise had become of age three years ago, Xander and Camilla still tended to view her as a child, and Elise had vocally protested about that several times. Two birds, one stone. “Very well. I’ll defer to your judgement,” he said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Oh, and little princess?”

“Yes, Xander?” Kamui asked, yawning.

“Thank you.”

Kamui looked at him strangely, searching for something within his face. “For what?” she asked. 

For her words, for choosing their family despite the hardships she had to face because of it. For being there for him when he needed her most, for warming a heart that had been frozen many years before she stole it. A thousand and one more reasons echoed through his mind, but those were secrets he would take with him to the grave. Words could not do justice to what he felt, and so he kept it short.

“For everything.”

 

> **Inigo**

 

A wonderful autumn wind washed over Inigo, taking with it several scarlet leaves scattered across the grass. Shigure tried to grab one out of the air, but he was too slow, drawing out a small laugh from his grandmother while she danced with Inigo’s younger counterpart through the fallen leaves. 

Soon it would be too cold for their outdoor practices, and his mother prefered to make the most out of the lingering heat while it lasted, gracefully twisting circles around her young son. 

Soleil slept sweetly in his arms while he watched them dance. His mother had asked him time and again to join them, but she eventually gave up when it became clear that he would not say yes. His last dance had been on the battlefield, twirling around Azura with a blade in his hand while she sang the song of her people. That would be his last dance, he had resolved, and retired his hobby for good. There was no future in dancing for a mercenary anyway, even if he was the son of a duke. 

Inigo closed his eyes, drifting back to easier, if not more peaceful times.

For some reason, he thought back to a night four years ago, mere months after he had been named Xander’s retainer.

It had been an autumn evening not unlike this one, a rare night spent around a campfire with some other soldiers before the war had made it a habit. Lord Leo and Lord Xander had been sent on a mission together, a rare occurrence, and as such, their retainers got to spend some time together.

Which, as Inigo would later learn, was another way of saying that they were on their way to getting horribly drunk. 

Owain was a loud drunk, to absolutely no one’s surprise. But Inigo was quiet, teetering on morose, while Owain ran, doing a great impression of his uncle fighting Grima, though with much more narrating and bravado. 

“What’s his damage?” The one-eyed man asked him, offering him another bottle of whatever the Nohrians preferred to drown their sins and sorrows in.

“What do you mean?” he replied, pretending to know nothing. He’d become good at that over the past months.

The man pointed at Owain with a wicked smile on his face. “Odin. You guys have known each other since forever, right?” Inigo nodded before he could stop himself. Alcohol always loosened his lips. “Has he always been acting this strange?”

“You’re one to talk, Niles!” he exclaimed with a smile, smacking him on the shoulder. Peri chuckled childishly, but prompted him as well. In the end, he relented. “Well, he’s always had a penchant for theatrics, even as a child, but he used to be quite shy, believe it or not.”

“No way!” Peri exclaimed loudly, drawing the attention of the two royals who sat close to each other, ignoring their idiotic retainers to discuss their mission until he began to speak. What changed?”

Inigo opened his mouth and closed it several times. Normally, a quick lie would have flowed off his lips as easily as flirtation, but he was a terribly honest drunk, and before he could stop himself, he was taken back to the past. “You may think Nohr is a desolate land, but it’s nothing like the world we came from. We grow up in a world that was dying, along with everyone and everything we ever knew. We ate bugs to survive, burned precious books just to keep warm, and killed because it was the only thing that stood between us and death,” he recounted, eyes glazing over as the world he grew up in appeared before him in black and whites. Had it really only been four years since they traveled to the past? It felt like a lifetime ago, despite the fact that he dreamed of it every night. 

Inigo blinked, noting the quiet around him. Owain had disappeared into the woods, leaving the rest to stare strangely at him. He took a large sip of his drink and flashed a smile. “When you’ve seen what we’ve seen, you either lie down and die, or learn how to cope. Everyone does it differently, and I suppose this is how Odin does it.” This was why Severa was always angry, pushing people far away. If she hurt them first, then it wouldn’t be so bad if they hurt her next. And for Inigo himself… They all had their masks. Lucina and Gerome wore cloth ones, but a smile had always been his mask of choice.

“Is that why you smell of blood, no matter how much you bathe?” Peri asked, a scary smile on her face. Inigo shrugged, too drunk to care. He didn’t think he smelled that bad, really. “I might like that land of yours!”

“You wouldn’t, Peri. Not even you,” he said darkly, feeling his smile slip from his face. He replaced it with an even more blinding one quickly. “But it’s a better place today. Which is why we’re here, to help you make Nohr a better place as well, so no child will ever have to go through what we did.”

“Laslow...” Xander said, and Inigo was barely sober enough to keep himself from correcting the name. For the first time since he had joined his service, his lord looked at him with concern. Inigo flashed him a quick smile for good measure. 

He had said too much already, and at this point, they were going to make him cry, though not out of sadness. Anankos had restored their land as thanks for this mission, a greater reward than  gold could ever buy. 

He downed the last of his drink, feeling the alcohol burn in the back of his throat. “I’m going out for a walk, just making sure that Owain hasn’t fallen into a ditch and died.” He got up, feeling himself stumble. Too much alcohol, he shouldn’t let them peer pressure him into drinking this much again. “Don’t wait up for me.”

He didn’t remember what happened afterwards, but he was still alive, and so was Owain, so it couldn’t have been that bad. He’d never drank as much again ever since that night, cursing himself time and again as soon as he realized exactly how much information he had divulged.

“Da da, why awe you cwying?” A soft voice interrupted his reminiscence. 

He opened his eyes to find his son staring at him, his eyes already watering up. Inigo drew him into his arms, careful not to wake his sleeping sister. Shigure sniffled into his chest.

He touched his cheeks and did indeed find them wet with tears. Strange, just like that night, he hadn’t even known he was crying until someone said something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to reverse the 'pining princess' stereotype on Xander, because a. going from siblings to lovers should not be a change that happens overnight, and a morally righteous man like Xander should have some issues with it, and b. reversing tropes is fun. I am tempted to rewrite this entire conversation from Kamui's point of view, which would be a very different one indeed. She is very, very oblivious, and completely misses the emotion Xander feels over half of her words. Anyway, sorry for the slow chapter, but romance really isn't my forte. (My name is Grima for a reason....) The title is a Tale of Genji reference, which has a lot of pining in it.
> 
> I had a great holiday! Thanks everyone for the well wishes! My beta has some computer troubles, but I'm almost done with chapter 9 myself, so updating schedule might be a little bit less regular than it has been so far. 
> 
> Next chapter, Leo gets a new retainer. Guess who!


	8. Arrangements of the Heart

“Do you understand, Flora?” her father asked once more, a smile on his face that she could no longer read. The last time she saw him, he had given her back to Kamui, kissing her gently on the crown of her head in farewell. It had been a touching gesture from a father that she had barely seen ever since she was a child. Now, three years later, she couldn’t help but wonder if he had expected her to survive the war.

“I...” Flora hesitated, unable to speak her mind. When Kamui had reluctantly released her from her services that morning, she had nearly cried. Being a maid was the only thing she was truly useful at, and by taking that away, there was very little left that she could do. In retrospect, she should have expected a visit from her father mere hours later while she scrubbed out the mud from Kamui’s petticoat one last time.

Her father saw her hesitation and sighed deeply, brushing some grey hairs out of his face. He’d grown older since she’d last seen him. “It’s your duty to your tribe, and I’m sure you will succeed magnificently. You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman, and I couldn’t be more proud.”

_ And yet, _ Flora couldn’t help but think.  _ And yet, you still prefer Felicia _ . The bitter jealousy that rose up in her chest was an old friend, never truly gone. Her father had informed her of his decision to pass her heritage over to Felicia, something that had been a long time coming if Flora was brutally honest with herself. But she had not expected him to order her to become an official lady-in-waiting with the purpose of making herself known to the king. He had come here to offer her as the king’s bride, or at least as his first concubine if the man was anything like his father had been. Flora doubted that King Xander would ever take more than one wife, but his father had not observed him the way she’d been able to during her long years of captivity.

She admired His Majesty for his desire for peace and his diligence towards building a new, more stable Nohr. But to marry such a cold and frightening man? That wasn’t something she had envisioned for herself. But what else could she do but agree with her father?

“I… I understand father,” Flora eventually said with a heavy heart, receiving a grateful smile from him. “I will do whatever is best for our tribe.”

“You’ve always been a resourceful woman. I’m certain you’ll succeed,” he praised her, and if he hadn’t just taken everything she had away from her, it would have probably warmed her heart. Instead, it fell on to deaf ears.

They made a bit more smalltalk until her father excused himself to search for Felicia. Flora hoped she would have enough time to say goodbye to her sister before they left this afternoon. Poor girl, taken away from the first job she excelled at. They had spent all of last night together, huddled under blankets, exchanging stories like old times. She’d told Felicia about the wonders of the Hoshidan countryside, and her sister had told her what it was like to cast magic from the top of a wyvern. She couldn’t stumble if she wasn’t standing on her own feet, she’d argued, making Flora laugh.

Would that be last time they would spend together as sisters? She tried not to think about it, but found it hard not to. 

Flora navigated the servant corridors hidden within the walls quickly, making it to the garden without a second delay. She already missed the fresh air and eternal sunshine of the Hoshidan summer. In comparison, the Nohrian autumn was dull and cold. There were no flowers here, only wilting trees and statues. They stared blankly back at her.

She settled underneath a tree, closing her eyes. It was strange having nothing to do after a lifetime of chores. She would have to get used to it, she thought with dread. Perhaps being a noble lady was her birthright, but she had always preferred an honest day’s work scrubbing the floor over needlework.

“A little bird told me you would be here.” A mocking voice called out to her, disturbing her lonesome thoughts. Her eyes flew open, only to find the youngest prince standing in front of her. He smirked. 

“Lord Leo!” she exclaimed in surprise, pulling herself to her feet to curtsy properly before him.

“At ease,” he said, the corners of his eyes creeping up slightly as he gestured for her to follow him further into the castle’s inner garden. Under the dark afternoon sky, he explained himself. “I was  surprised when Kamui told me this morning that you’d been released from her service. During our little holiday, I never had the impression that you disliked your work. Please excuse me if my curiosity got the better of me.”

So that explained his presence. Flora wrung her hands together, and her voice was quiet. “It… was not my choice.”

“Oh?” Prince Leo asked, a single eyebrow raised.

Flora sighed deeply. “You must know that my sister and I were only maids as a leverage to keep my father in check.”

“I was aware that you were political prisoners,” he admitted with a nod. “But I thought that had changed during the war.” 

His eyes were as inscrutable as always, and they told her very little of what he knew of what had occurred that day. She’d spend more than enough time with Niles during her trip to know that he didn’t keep any secrets from his lord. “It did, informally. But the war is over and my tribe requires my services in a different way.” She was unaware of her father had already made his intent known to the king, and she chose not to reveal how he wished she would serve her tribe.

Lord Leo, bright as he might be, misinterpreted her words entirely. “You will be a good chief, I’m sure of it,” he said, his voice gentler than he had ever spoken to her before. For a man with such a terrible reputation, he was surprisingly compassionate.

For a second she considered lying, just to bask in his approval. But she couldn’t. “I won’t be,” she admitted softly, hands balling up in fists. “Felicia will take my father’s place after him. She’s probably packing her bags as we speak.”

“That’s a waste,” he said lightly, perhaps to spare her feelings.

Flora shook her head, a smile on her face. Her sister had been destined for greatness, and she’d spent enough years shadowed by her sister’s success to know that it was true.  “It’s not. All I am good at is caring for others. I was the perfect maid, Jakob used to praise before…” 

She hesitated, her shame taking her words from her mouth before she could speak them. Flora swallowed, clasping her hands together, willing them to stop trembling. “Before I turned traitor,” Flora eventually added, refusing to meet his eyes. It was unbecoming for a lady to show so much of herself in front of a man of his standing.

He surprised her by carefully taking her hand into his, and an unfamiliar warmth overtook her, one that didn’t feel like making her melt in shame, but rather something tender, reshaping herself into something new. A blush rose to her cheeks and she had to keep herself from smiling when he spoke next. “You’re hardly a traitor. You can’t betray your own people to themselves, of course.”

This was the first time that anyone had counted the people of the Ice Tribe as Nohrian citizens. The court considered the land as Nohrian property, but the people were little more than foreigners, numbers and casualties on paper.

Flora shook her head, putting her wonder out of her mind. “Milord, I broke my vow of servitude, endangered my own sister, and in the end, for what?” she argued back, barely restraining her bitterness. “That’s why I’m meant to remain here as an ambassador for the Ice Tribe while she takes up my birthright. My behavior is hardly fitting for the heiress of the Ice Tribe. The few minutes that I’m older than Felicia shouldn’t matter.”

“Perhaps,” the prince said after a long moment of silence, still sounding unconvinced. “What becomes of you, then?”

She had not anticipated his question, nor his caring. For royalty, servants tended to blend in with the furniture they cleaned. But, she knew now, Lord Leo was made of different stuff, and so she owed him an honest answer. “I will live up to the vow I made after the rebellion as well as I can,” she admitted, revealing what she hadn’t been able to tell her father before. “While no longer as a maid, I will once again commit myself to Kamui’s services. I’ve always excelled at nothing but that.”

He scoffed. “You sell yourself short. Perhaps the tradition of the Ice Tribe is different, but from what I’ve learned in the past few years of waging war, is that the ability to break things is by far inferior to the capability to nurture and grow.”

Before she could reply, he pulled out this sacred tome, and cast a spell in a language she could not understand. His strange words twisted together almost sinfully until the earth between them parted. On the barren soil of the castle garden, regardless of the darkness and blight, a tree sprouted, seconds later fully in bloom. The buds unveiled and blossoms took their place, scenting the stale air with something fresh, full of life. 

When he was done, he turned back to her, Brynhildr still in his hands. “This tome was meant for war, and yet, here we are, in an unprecedented era of peace. If my brother has his way, it will remain that way. But…” The victorious look on his face fell. “Nohr will not change just because its rulers have changed. The soil is still infertile, and sooner or later the people will start growing hungry again.”

She knew hunger intimately. When the Ice tribe first rebelled, the food supply had been cut off, and they were forced to live off what their barren land could provide. For weeks, she had eaten nothing but skinny snow hares and moldy bread until even none of that remained. When she had been taken as a hostage, it had almost been a relief, because at least she wouldn’t starve. Almost.

Flora doubted he knew hunger like she did since he was a royal scion born and raised in luxury. Yet, during the war she had seen the calluses on his hands, the scars on his arms, and the bitterness on his tongue. Could they really be so different?

She spoke her thoughts aloud before she even realized she had, eliciting gentle laughter from the prince. She flushed bright red, and took her hand out of his quickly, too quickly.

“We’re different, like night and day. But day is becoming increasingly much like night, don’t you think?” He gestured at the sky above them, where dark clouds hid the light from them. Some grey light filtered through, enough to illuminate her path, but not enough to nurture and grow. 

His voice dropped suddenly. “You may not believe me, but your feelings of… inadequacy. I share them too. My siblings, all greater and brighter than myself, easily overshadow me.”

Flora’s eyes went wide with disbelief. “How could you believe that when none of them are as bright as you?” she said, the honest truth falling from her lips before she could stop herself. She realized belatedly that had been happening increasingly more often within his presence lately. 

He smiled awkwardly, just as uncomfortable with compliments as she was. “I could say the same to you, milady,” he answered politely. She felt her heart rate increase even more, slamming against her chest as if it wanted to burst out and break free. Some of it must have shown on her face, because he mercifully released her from her misery with the smallest of smiles on his lips. “I will stop embarrassing you any further, and get to my point. Like I told your sister before, I think her talents are wasted as a maid. She is a rather poor one, at any rate.”

Flora bowed deeply. “My apologies, milord.”

He waved it away instantly. “We are all destined to fulfill a certain fate, and hers isn’t servitude. I’m glad that her talents will be better applied than scrubbing the floors.”

“I am most grateful, milord,” Flora answered in her sister’s stead. She should excuse herself and hurry to find her before it was too late and she made even more of a fool of herself.

“Don’t look so sad,” he demanded rather than asked, but when she met his eyes again, there was a softness in them that not too many would see. He groaned, pretending to be annoyed that she didn’t catch his hidden meaning. “I meant what I said about rebuilding. The time of war is over, or at least for now. I’m not so foolish to believe that it’ll never return again, but before it does, I believe that people like you and me, who don’t excel at fighting, are meant to do what we were fated to do.”

She opened her mouth to deny his words, to tell him how brilliant he was, but decided against it. Instead, she played along. “And that is?”

He gestured to the garden he had brought to life with a flick of his wrist. “You’ve always been best at caring for my dear sister. But she’s grown woman with a butler and a few loyal retainers at her side. I happen to be short of one. Perhaps together we can do what our siblings cannot.” His last words were propositioned with more meaning than the rest, and surprising her greatly.

Flora blinked, caught completely off guard. “Are you asking me to be your personal maid?”

He shook his head, rolling his eyes, but with a smile on his face. “I am asking you to be my retainer, not my servant.”

A royal retainer, a position previously only held by men and women from noble houses, though that hadn’t been the case during the late King Garon’s reign. What hadn’t been lost was the prestige, political power, and income that came with the job. “I… the honor is too great for me, I believe,” she managed to stutter out, but her prideful heart wished for nothing more than to take his offer.

Prince Leo shook his head, offering her to lay her hand on his sacred tome, showing her that he was not joking about swearing her fealty to him. “On the contrary, to have a noble lady of your talent to be solely in my service is a very selfish thing to do. But I’ve never been selfless, and I doubt I’ll ever be. So, what do you say?”

Flora was overtaken by boldness. Her father had released her from her duties as an heir, and he forced Lady Kamui to do the same to her as a maid. For the first time in her life, she was free to make her own choices, even though all parties expected her to act in their best interests even now.

But she was supposed to be a lady of the court, wasn’t she? Her father held the right to give away her hand in marriage, but hers alone was the right to pledge her heart and loyalty to a Prince.

It was a terrible decision that she was sure they would both come to regret. But when he held his most prized possession in front of her, giving her a second chance and a new life in the same sentence, how could she refuse? Redemption and purpose dangled in front of her, presented on a silver platter, and how could she ever refuse a man so wonderful? This wasn’t the first selfish decision she had ever made, and she was certain it wouldn’t be the last.

“Well, milord,” Flora said, unable to keep her smile out of her words. She knelt down on one knee before him, her warm eyes never leaving his. “If you put it like that...”

 

> **_Kamui_ **

 

Kamui kicked her shoes off the second Kaze closed the door of her chambers behind her, groaning at the sweet relief. “How do my siblings fight in those contraptions?” she moaned, pointing at her discarded heels.

“They fight on a mount, milady,” Kaze answered while he gathered them from the floor and put them away in her shoe closet. “The heel makes it easier to control the stirrups, or so I’ve been told.”

“That makes sense, I suppose.” Though it didn’t explain why she had to wear them underneath her long court dress all day. She knew they were in fashion, but she preferred to feel the ground beneath her feet. It gave her a sense of balance and connection with the world around her. “But that doesn’t explain why Xander doesn’t have to wear them.”

Kaze chuckled kindly while he laid out her night clothing. “I believe milord’s height is already frightening to some courtiers, and he would hardly like to add more to it.”

“Xander? Frightening?” The very idea surprised her. Sure, Xander was a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. To those who didn’t know him, she supposed his frown could be considered intimidating. But she’d known him for almost as long as she could remember, and he had always been kind to her. It was hard to see him as anything else. “Although I have to admit that he  _ is  _ tall. When I was younger, he’d let me ride on his back. I felt like I could see the whole kingdom from up there, but it was just the other side of the fortress.” Still, she missed those moments between them.

Despite the amount of people working tirelessly everyday in the castle, home was a lonely place now that Elise and her colorful retainers had departed to the Ice Tribe, and Leo and his own had been dispatched to Macarath. With Flora and Felicia no longer at her side, and Xander and Camilla busier than ever, there were few things that could keep her from missing the Hoshidan sun on her skin.

Kamui had been surprised when her younger brother announced that he had promoted Flora to his retainer. Leo had mentioned it casually in the middle of breakfast, causing Xander to choke on the piece of bread he was eating, and it dawned on Kamui that she was the only one of her siblings that knew about the marriage proposal from Flora’s father. 

She didn’t know why, but the way he could only form half-hearted protests against it made it clear to her that he intended to keep it a secret, so she kept her mouth shut on the matter. Kamui had to agree with Leo that she was a great balance to his other less politically adept retainer, and she knew they had worked well together during their trip through Hoshido. Flora was a free woman, and in the few days she had seen Leo before he left for Macarath to enforce Xander’s new policies, Flora had looked happy with her new position.

Before they left, barely a week after their little holiday had come at an end, Leo had visited Kamui’s rooms. He’d been a bit shyer and distant than she was used to, and Kamui blamed the gossip they had to endure ever since they returned. As much as it pained her to be parted from any of her siblings, she had to agree that a short separation was for the best. He didn’t stay long, leaving barely enough time for Kamui to wish him and his retainers a safe journey.

Before he left, he handed her a large tome, telling her to study it well. It wasn’t about history, geography or tactics like she had expected, but instead it was a colorful book about fairy tales.

She’d looked at him strangely, ready to ask if this was his way of telling a joke. “We couldn’t find any clues on our own maps,” he whispered softly, intending his words for her ears only. “But the lands like the one underneath the lake have always been more likely to be found in books like these. And as we both know, myths and bedtime stories always have their foundation in reality.”

She’d nodded and hugged him fiercely, despite his own reservations. Leo would always be her bright little brother, and even if nobody would ever believe them, she knew that he would always have her back. Seeing him leave the next day was more painful than she liked to admit.

Elise left shortly after Leo, excited to be sent on her very first solo mission. She’d been complaining ever since her debutante ball that she was still being treated like a child, but Kamui knew that Camilla and Xander preferred to keep their youngest sister close, fearing the places that her kind heart may take her if she acted unwisely. But even they had to admit that she had matured greatly during the war, and she deserved recognition for her hard work. Kamui eagerly awaited her letters, confident that the Ice Tribe would love her as much as they all did.

“Lady Kamui?” A gentle voice pulled her from her reverie. She blinked a few times, surprised to find Jakob in front of her. It was already late, shouldn’t he be with his wife and child?

“Sorry Jakob, what’s wrong?” she apologized, taking the cup of tea he offered her without question. He knew her tastes better than anyone else, and while she was happy that he had started a family, she couldn’t help but miss her old friend from time to time.

When she put down her cup, he handed her a purple, lavender-scented letter. “Lady Camilla  sent  you an invitation to join her and some of her courtiers for tea this evening. They’re playing bridge, if I’m not mistaken.”

“I...” Kamui hesitated while she scanned through the contents of the letter. It was tempting to take her up on her offer. Camilla had been complaining nonstop ever since she’d found out that she’d  visited a spa without her during her holiday, and playing cards in the company of friends sounded much better than going through the paperwork Xander had assigned her.

But she’d resolved to be a better princess, and she didn’t take a vow like that lightly. With a sigh , she  sat down in front of her desk and shook her head to her loyal butler. “Kaze, could you please fill in for me again? You’re a better card player than I am anyway, and I still need to go through the harvest reports Xander assigned to me this morning.”

Her retainer must be the only man unhappy about joining a large group of ladies in a game of cards. “If you insist, milady,” Kaze replied dutifully.

Kamui smiled at him, and he bowed to her. “Please try to enjoy yourself Kaze, you deserve it.”

“I will try, if you promise to turn to bed before midnight today. Even dragons need sleep,” he replied with a smile of his own, hopping on the windowsill. Why he was unable to use doors and stairs like the rest of the castle was still a mystery to her.

“I’m hardly a dragon, but I’ll try.” She looked down at herself. She hadn’t been a dragon ever since she’d left the land under the lake. Her country did not need a dragon, it needed a princess.

“That is all I can ask,” Kaze said, already hanging out of the open window. “Goodnight milady, Jakob.”

She watched him quickly descend her tower before turning to her butler. “You should be going home too, Jakob. I’m sure Nyx won’t appreciate you working overtime four nights in a row.”

Jakob continued cleaning the silverware as if he had heard nothing, only replying when she repeated herself. “I refuse to leave before my job is done, Milady.” His words were respectful, but his tone belied nothing of the stubbornness she had come to associate with him.

Kamui sighed. She had thought fatherhood would change him, but he was the same as always. “Then draw me a hot bath and get me something stronger than tea, and leave me to my work. The maids can clean my room in the morning,” she told him with a commanding voice, ensuring there was no mistake about who was in charge. She had learned long ago that she needed to compromise with Jakob’s sense of duty to get her point across. “Oh, and ask Nyx if she’ll join me for tea somewhere next week. I’m sure you know my schedule better than I do, so please arrange something with her. I need to ask her some questions.”

That piqued his interest. He put down the silver spoon and walked closer to her. “Perhaps I can answer them now,” he suggested with a pleasant smile on his face, always uneasy to be outdone by anyone when it came to serving her, apparently even when it came to his wife.

For a moment, she considered telling him all about what she had seen in the land underneath the lake, but then she remembered Azura’s insistence on keeping it a secret, and Leo’s initial disbelief. Kamui changed her mind. “Sorry, Jakob,” she said with a teasing smile. “Some questions should remain between women.”

Jakob’s eyes went wide and he blushed a bright red at the implication. “C-certainly, Milady!”

Kamui considered adding a wink for good measure, but decided to spare the poor man’s heart. Instead, she got up from behind her desk and moved to close the window. Kaze had left open. She was a warm-blooded person, hardly ever affected by the cold, but after spending a summer in Hoshido, the autumn winds of Nohr felt chillier than ever.

Before she could close it, the clang of steel slashing through the air from below caught her attention. She looked down only to find none other than Xander training in the castle courtyard. If she hadn’t spent so much time watching him as a child, or spent the better part of three years fighting by his side, she wouldn’t have noticed the recklessness apparent in every move he made. His form was normally perfect, polished by many years of diligent practice. Tonight, it seemed off.

Kamui looked over her shoulder to the harvest report waiting on her desk. Technically she had promised Xander to be a better princess  _ and  _ sister. The report could wait, her brother could not. “On second thought, forget about the bath. Could you fetch my armor instead?” she asked Jakob, who was already unlacing the back of her dress.

“Milady?”

She pointed him in the right direction while rummaging through her neatly arranged closet in search for her old battle clothing, feeling the comfortable weight of her dragonstone rest against her chest. Perhaps tonight her kingdom also needed a dragon. 

“And maybe an extra plate of food as well,” she added when Jakob returned with the black and golden armor of Nohrian nobles. 

Jakob only took one look outside of the window to know what was going on. “Right away,” he complied with a quick bow, hurrying to the kitchen while she changed.

Less than twenty minutes later, Kamui and Jakob walked into the castle courtyard. It was quiet, with only a few night guards standing at their post, gazing at the King with some apprehension.

It was a testament to his worries that Xander didn’t notice when she came closer to him. “Good evening big brother,” she said quietly when she was only meters out of his reach.

He turned around quickly, as if he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Little Princess!” he cried out, panting from exertion.“My apologies, I didn’t see you coming.”

“I could tell. Are you alright, Xander? You’re swinging your sword more recklessly than I’ve ever seen you do so before.” He had been acting strange ever since she returned from her journey through Hoshido. First he let her in closer than ever, and then the next morning, it seemed like there was more distance between them than ever before. There had been something in his eyes that night, something desperate she could not place.

“There has merely been a lot on my mind lately,” he admitted while sheathing Siegfried.

“Have you at least eaten? You’ve lost weight while we were gone,” Kamui said, putting her hand on his cheek. He’d always been thin even though his broad frame hid it behind his armor, but even during the heat of the war, he hadn’t looked this gaunt. 

Before she could touch him, he took a step back, frowning even deeper. “I should probably have dinner, yes,” Xander admitted a bit too quickly, already making his way towards the castle, out of reach from her prying questions. “Goodnight, little princess.”

But Kamui had anticipated that, and blocked his path with her body, stretching her arms wide. “You’re not going anywhere, Xander. I’ve brought food for you.” She nodded to Jakob, who quickly bowed to his king and presented him with the leftover soup that he’d been able to scavenge from the kitchen. It was hardly a meal fit for a king, but it was better than nothing.

Xander accepted the meal with resignation, knowing that there was no use in refusing. Kamui knew that Camilla and Elise took turns in forcing Xander to eat whenever he didn’t show up for dinner at night, so he should be used to it.

They sat down next to each other while she watched him eat. It was a rare clear night, only a few dark clouds drifting past to obscure the dim light of the moon. She was reminded of a time long ago, when all five of them would lie down underneath the stars, each trying to name as many constellations as they could. Leo always won. “You may leave us, Jakob,” Kamui ordered once Xander finished his soup.

Jakob bowed politely to both of them and took his leave. Kamui hoped that he would go straight to the quarters he shared with his wife. She had spent her childhood without her parents, and she’d be damned if another child grew up without his father because of her.

Xander stood up, his hand already on the of his sword. At least the soup had returned some color to his face. “You should go to bed too, little princess. You seem tired.”

“Not before you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.” Her words caught him off-guard. A moment of silence passed between them, both refusing to move an inch. When it became clear he wasn’t going to say a thing, she sighed deeply. “Well, at least you don’t deny it. Why, Xander? Are you still mad at me? I thought we had sorted out our issues.”

A look of self-loathing crossed his features, surprising her. “I’m not angry at you. I’ve just been busy. If I made you feel like I avoided you, then I’m sorry. It was not my intention.” His words were kind and gentle, but his face told her a whole different story. 

“If it’s going to be like this, then you give me no other choice,” Kamui said, taking step back. She unsheathed her sword and assumed a battle stance. “Fight me, Xander.”

“I beg your pardon?” Her brother stared at the tip of her sword pointed at his chest, baffled.

“During our duel, my brother told me that the only way two warriors could speak the truth to each other was by crossing swords.” It hurt to think of Ryoma on most nights, but even in death, he remained one of her greatest teachers. “So, I challenge you Xander. If I win, you’ll tell me what’s on your mind.”

Xander’s eyes never left hers. “And if I win?” His voice was strangely breathless, especially since he’d just had a break.

Kamui grit her teeth. “Then I haven’t tried hard enough.”

Finally, a thin smile spread over his features, and he assumed a battle stance himself. 

“I admire your spirit, little princess,” he praised her proudly, Siegfried radiating dark energy within his hands. There would be no wooden blades in this fight. The few remaining servants and courtiers that were still up at this hour slowly gathered alike in a wide circle around them, intrigued by the rare sight of a duel between princess and king. “Well then, come at me with everything you have. Just this once, I won’t hold back.”

They crossed swords, their eyes meeting in a mental game of silently daring the other to make the first move. The second she saw Xander’s shoulder move to strike, she moved like thunder, forcing Xander back with a slash of her sword. He wasn’t so fast now that he wasn’t on horseback, choosing to block her strikes rather than leaping out of the way. But he was as strong as ever, eyes blazing, daring her to make a single mistake.

She moved faster than she had in almost a year, feeling her blood boil hotter with every strike. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he wouldn’t hold back, and Kamui knew that she would be nursing a lot of bruises tomorrow regardless of who won tonight. He still had to land a good blow on her, but every close call of Siegfried’s destructive aura was enough to do some damage. 

She hadn’t felt this alive in months.

It was a different kind of dance than the waltz he had taught her when they were young, but one they were both more familiar with. Kamui knew she could take one, maybe two hits, but that would be it for her. Xander remained an impenetrable wall, easily blocking one hit after another, but never fast enough to land the winning blow. It was a game of chess, played with real swords instead of wooden pieces, each player waiting for the other to make a mistake.

The opportunity presented itself after a minute when Kamui barely parried a strong but sloppy slash from the side, turning Xander’s inhuman power against him. His eyes widened as she used his momentum to twirl past his defences, lit up her dragonstone and partially transformed her leg to kick him straight in the chest.

Xander staggered back, but didn’t fall, an astonished smile on his face.

“You said all out,” Kamui drawled with a smile, breathing heavily. Her hair was a mess and so was he, but he’d never been more of an open book to her than at that moment. There was an intensity behind his eyes, nothing like anger yet with all the same fire. She couldn’t quite place it, but he looked happier than he had ever since they arrived, grinning despite the drops of blood dripping through his armor.

“I underestimated you,” Xander admitted with an unreadable smile on his face, his sword already raised against hers. “It won’t happen again.”

With no time to think of anything but the titan in front of her, Kamui smiled through gritted teeth, and dove in once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Kamui doesn't realize is that:  
> a. Jakob is really tired of taking care of a crying kid all night, as all new parents are at some point.  
> b. Half of Camilla's guests have a crush on Kaze (read their supports, that's literally what happens)  
> c. Xander would rather fight you for years than admit what's going on inside of him.
> 
> Anyway, fun chapter. Next two chapters are my favorites. A certain girl gets her first spoken line in this fic, which I think we can all agree is about goddamn time. Also, my fates otp finally makes an appearance.


	9. A White Winter Hymnal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Narcissus looked into the water and saw a reflection of herself. Only it was far more lovely, smiling back at her with all the grace she would never possess. The vision came alive, walking the earth besides her, bestowing the world with her radiance. But make no mistake, in this version of the myth Narcissus did fall, but there was no water for her to drown in, only love.

 

> **_Xander_ **

 

In Nohr, nothing survived _because_ of the natural environment, but rather _in_ _spite_ of it. Only the strongest children reached adulthood, and only the toughest crops would grow. It was cruel and heart wrenching like the acid rain that slowly eradicated all that defied the immeasurable odds, trying make a living on the bitter soil of Nohr. But this barren land was all that they had, and they would never know another place to call home.

Brynhildr’s flowers did not starve from lack of food, nor burn from the poisonous rain. Even during Nohr’s coldest months, the roses Leo created bloomed beautifully, scenting the otherwise stale throne room with a pleasant floral aroma. His brother had become unusually interested in flowers lately, spending all his free time investigating ancient races of roses that had long disappeared from the Nohrian countryside.

When asked, Leo would tell people that he merely sought to find a crop that could provide a more stable livelihood for the people of Nohr. But Xander knew that twitch in his brow, the same one he had always shown just seconds before telling their father an excuse, and Xander knew there had to be something more. If his brother truly sought to feed their starving nation, why did he focus on flowers instead of a crop that provided sustenance?

While his brother’s lips remained closed on the subject, his newfound knowledge of flowers did bear its fruit. The roses behind the throne of thorns had wilted two decades before, not long after Xander’s mother died, and never been replaced until now.

Leo whispered one final incantation, and under his careful hands, the last rose bush appeared, sprouting wonderful flowers mere seconds later. Xander watched in wonder as his brother brought life to a room that had seen too much death, feeling prouder than ever.

“How long will they bloom?” he asked while helping Leo to his feet. His brother stood firmly, but Xander could tell that his legs would give out any moment.

“For as long as I want them to.” Leo’s voice was calm even though he looked pale and his breath was short. The trees and earth Leo manipulated on the battlefield were temporary, a short surge of power, nothing like the long lasting magical incantations of these roses. Leo sighed, wiping the sweat from his brown. “Or at least as long as I still draw breath,” he added as an afterthought, a wry smile on his face.

Xander put a hand on Leo’s shoulder, partially to make sure he didn’t faint on the spot. “Thank you brother. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Have you been talking too much to Kamui and Camilla lately? You’re normally not this clingy,” Leo replied irately, but didn’t make any move to shrug his hand off.

“My apologies, little brother. I’m just happy you’re back with us,” Xander chuckled. Leo and Elise had been acting as his ambassadors during the autumn months, only returning home for a few nights when the castle rooftops were colored white with snow. Home was a warmer place now his family was reunited at last.

“I wouldn’t miss the Winter Solstice ball. Camilla would probably track me down and skin me alive if I even entertained the thought of missing it.”

Why his brother still felt the need to hide the fact that he enjoyed these festivities as much as Elise was a mystery to Xander. “You think too little of your other sisters,” Xander said with a small smile.

Leo looked at him with unveiled suspicion. “Stop joking Xander, it’s scaring me.”

Xander would have protested if a servant hadn’t made herself known in that moment. “Your Majesty? Lord Leo?” The maid bowed deeply before them until Xander motioned at her to speak again. “The Hoshidan delegation has arrived.”

“That’s my cue to leave. Good luck brother, and I’ll see you tonight at the banquet,” Leo said with a tired smile.

Xander nodded. “Of course. Take care, Leo.” As soon as Leo turned around, he sent a quick look to his retainers, silently ordering them to make sure Leo was forced into bed rest. Niles and Flora quickly nodded and hurried to their master’s side, ready to catch him if he might fall from exhaustion.

Knowing that his brother was in capable hands, Xander followed the maid to an antechamber before the throne room that was used to receive guests in relative privacy.

Queen Hinoka had changed drastically since he’d seen her last spring at her coronation. It had been a rather solemn event, and no amount of makeup could hide the sadness shared between the remaining princesses of Hoshido. Almost a year later, she cut quite a different figure, radiating a weary strength that he knew all too well.

“Welcome to Nohr, Your Majesty, Princess Sakura. You honor Nohr with your presence during our annual Winter Solstice ball,” he welcomed them. For a moment, he wished to shake Queen Hinoka’s hand like an equal, but decided upon a shallow yet polite bow instead. Hoshido had different customs than Nohr, and he did not want to make a political faux pas within the first minute of their visit.

“The honor is all mine, Your Majesty,” Queen Hinoka echoed, mirroring his bow just as stiffly.

“Please, take a seat. You must be tired from your travels.” Xander nodded to a butler in the corner, who immediately set to pouring a glass of juice for his guests.

“Thank you,” the Queen replied once she sat down, taking the cup from the servant gratefully. “To be truthful, I never tire from riding a Pegasus. But I’m sure my sister would like to rest before tonight’s activities.”

Xander allowed himself a quick look at the younger princess. Her hair was longer than it had been during the war, pulled back in a short ponytail that bared her face more. She looked exhausted, but emotionally rather than physically. Not unlike his own siblings, she seemed annoyed that her sister had announced her weakness in such a way, but kept her silence.

“Then I won’t keep you much longer. But before you take your leave, I’d like to present you a token of Nohr’s gratitude for your arrival.” He motioned at the butler to bring him two little boxes that had been patiently waiting on the cabinet.

Queen Hinoka looked somewhat surprised, and Xander wondered if giving honored guest a gift wasn’t part of Hoshidan etiquette. Kaze hadn’t been opposed to the idea when Xander asked for his advice.

He dismissed the thought and presented his gift to the Queen first. “For Your Grace, our finest jeweler created this necklace. It’s made from the strongest steel and obsidian, only found at the Burning Falls and handcrafted just for you. I hope you’ll find it to your liking.”

The Queen carefully took the necklace from the box, feeling its weight. It was made of gold-plated steel and black volcanic glass, befitting a Nohrian noblewoman, meant to be worn in both company and battle. Like all weapons forged from Nohrian ore, it would never break.

“Thank you very much for this wonderful gift. I will wear it with pride,” Queen Hinoka accepted with a polite smile. Regardless of her words, Xander felt that there was something off about her reaction. No matter how reserved she might be, he suspected that this gift wasn’t as perfect for her as he had hoped it would be. Perhaps he should have gone with Camilla’s suggestion and ordered a custom-made Nohrian spear for her instead, but at the time, he thought it was bad etiquette to present a former enemy with a weapon. Now, he was not so sure.

Forcefully dismissing the thoughts, Xander turned to the younger princess next, offering her a small box. “And for the High Princess, an Eternal Nohrian rose, personally crafted by my brother.”

“It’s...” Sakura gasped, the rest of her sentence lost in wonder. She carefully took the black rose out of the box, admiring its timeless beauty. Like the roses that bloomed next to his throne, this one would remain perfect as long as his brother drew breath. It was as dark as the Nohrian skies, and the pure look of wonder that crossed her features made Xander chuckle lightly.

“Elise wears a similar one, and I have to credit her with the idea. We agreed that it would fit perfectly with the dress you wore during your last visit to our court,” Xander added when he felt Queen Hinoka’s eyes on him. He hoped that Princess Sakura would grasp the personal meaning behind the gift as well, a small nod to the vow he had made to her during their last meeting.

He shouldn’t have worried. “I _love_ it,” the princess blurted, her eyes sparkling and a large smile on her lips. As soon as the words were out of Sakura’s mouth, she blushed bright pink. “M-my apologies, I m-meant to say that it’s very beautiful. I will wear it g-gladly.”

“I’m glad it’s to your liking.”

The girl pressed the flower to her chest, similarly to how Elise wore it. “I-if I may be so forward, could I perhaps thank Princess Elise personally?” she asked with a tremor in her voice, eyes downcast.

“I’m certain she would be delighted to receive you,” Xander granted her. He turned to the butler once more. “Please escort milady to my sister and see that she lacks nothing.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” the man bowed deeply once more in acknowledgment, and held the door open for his honored guest.

Princess Sakura shot a look at her sister for permission to leave as well, though to Xander it seemed more of an afterthought than actual deference. Hinoka nodded, a faraway look on her face.

“Thank you once more for the gift and your understanding, King Xander,” she said before bowing deeply from the middle in typical Hoshidan fashion. The gesture indicated a great deal of respect.

Xander tried to return the gesture, albeit stiffly.  “You’re most welcome.”

He watched the princess leave the room, allowing a moment of silence to pass. With Princess Sakura and the butler gone, this was the first moment they spent entirely alone in each other’s presence.

Hinoka’s shoulders slumped, her voice distant. “That’s the most I’ve seen her smile in months. Thank you for that, I had almost forgotten how happy she used to be.”

Xander didn’t press the issue, silently acknowledging her words with a nod. He had no business with the relationship between the two sisters, but there were other things that needed to be said now he that had the chance. “Now that we’re in private, I would like to once again offer my sincere condolences and apologies with regards to your brothers. Prince Ryoma especially was a worthy opponent, and an honorable man until the end.”

Hinoka remained quiet for a moment, her eyes averted. When she spoke, she sounded years older. “I should be the one to apologize after all that happened last summer.”

“All is forgiven. Kamui informed me of what happened, and assured me it was a private matter between sisters,” Xander replied quickly. “I think we can both agree that it’s best for both of our countries to forget about the matter.”

Mentioning their shared sister brought a small smile back to the queen’s lips. “Then it’s water under the bridge,” she agreed, taking a sip of her drink. Xander offered to pour her something stronger, and to his surprise, Hinoka asked for a glass of whiskey, explaining that she had grown up among a diverse group of soldiers and honestly preferred it over a classy glass of wine.

After a bit of small talk over the best vintages and childhoods spent with the military, Hinoka schooled her features into something more solemn. “While we have this moment without anyone breathing down our necks, I want to discuss some issues, if you don’t mind talking business.”

“Certainly. The upcoming festivities will leave little room for private conversations like these,” Xander agreed.

From a satchel she produced a few documents, and Xander immediately recognized his own handwriting. “Your ambassador handed this trade agreement between our nations, a proposition to exchange food in return for metals and stones.”

“Yes, I have a copy of it myself,” Xander replied when she offered him the documents. She didn’t know that he had written most of it himself with the help of Kaze, Kamui and Camilla. They had researched the economic situation of both countries extensively for nearly a month before the document she was currently holding came into being, drafting and discarding terms and conditions more times than he could count. He could probably quote the entire document word for word if needed.

Hinoka looked at him expectantly, and Xander sighed, taking another sip of his own whiskey. “I’ll be frank with you because Kamui told me you are an honest and compassionate woman,” he said, his words blunter than he would have liked. “My father exhausted Nohr to the point of starvation. Despite disbanding half of our army and relocating them to the fields, we still don’t have enough food to feed all of Nohr. I’m afraid that without Hoshido’s aid, the poor will not survive the end of winter.”

The queen crossed her legs, nodding thoughtfully. “Your ambassador implied the situation, but it’s different to hear it confirmed by you.”

“I’ve tried to forge swords into plowshares, but until the agricultural reforms start taking root, Nohr cannot survive without the aid of Hoshido. Our peace is dependent on your support,” Xander admitted, swallowing his pride. It was painful to admit that his father had been a less than a stellar king, and even more so that he himself still had a long way to go.

Hinoka frowned deeply. “I’m afraid I don’t follow you entirely.”

“It saddens me to say that my grip on the Nohrian population isn’t as strong as it should be. If food become even more scarce, I can’t guarantee that they won’t take matters into their own hands and turn upon our wealthier neighbours instead,” Xander said, keeping his voice low.

“Are you _threatening_ me?” For a second, Xander remembered the woman who had stood before him on the battlefield, unyielding.

He sighed deeply, saddened that he had to resort to such tactics. “I’m merely being truthful with you. The last war proved that Nohr’s military is superior to Hoshido’s, and a desperately famished man fights for two, if Nohrian history is any indication. As I promised to your sister before, I will do everything within my power to prevent another war, but I can’t do it without your support.”

Hinoka narrowed eyes didn’t waver, nor did her voice, but he knew he had her interest. “Then what do you propose?”

“An equal exchange. During their tour of the Hoshidan countryside, my siblings noted that many buildings are still in ruin and need repair. In return for food, I would grant you unlimited access to our quarries and mines,” Xander offered with a steady voice.

Hinoka’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You would grant us the means to defeat you?”

Xander shook his head. “I would grant you a fighting chance should it come to war, though I hope it won’t. Instead, use our resources to rebuild your homes and plow your lands. A mutual beneficial agreement between our countries should strengthen the peace unlike anything else.”

She didn’t answer immediately, instead choosing to observe him closely. After a quiet moment, she apparently found whatever she was looking for, and a careful smile played over her features. “My sister was right when she told me you were a fair man, King Xander.” In his mind, he wondered which sister she was speaking of. “Let’s go over that trade agreement together. I’m certain that as long as we both keep the peace in mind, we’ll be able to work something out.”

She offered her hand, and Xander didn’t think twice about shaking it. Hinoka smiled tiredly, a look that he must have mirrored on his face. It seemed they were more alike than he had initially thought.

“I agree. Now, if you would take a look at these documents, I’ve outlined the exact ores we would be willing to offer over here...”

 

 

> _**Sakura** _

 

Sakura followed the Nohrian butler at a polite distance, the flower still clutched to her chest. She felt lightheaded, as if walking in a dream, unfamiliar, looming doorways giving way to paradise with every step into the dark. The anticipation was almost enough to keep her from touching the place where her cold metal blade hid between the folds of her obi, her fingers twitching with impulse.

The butler guiding her was a quiet man, but Sakura didn’t miss the way he and the other servants looked at her when they thought she didn’t notice. They were nothing but polite to her, never disrespecting her in any way, and yet their gazes burned on her back worse than fire magic. A quiet voice in the back of her mind told her to look over her shoulder, to check if there wasn’t a blade pressed against her back yet, but Sakura resisted the urge. She was so close to the sun, she could almost feel her warm rays on her skin.

Princess Elise’s door was as dreary as the rest of the castle, but her rooms were not. The moment she was ushered into the princess’s private solar, she felt her skin heat up. The walls were as dark as the rest of the castle, but a touch of pink mellowed it out. Above her, a large chandelier lit up the room, nearly bright enough to provide an illusion of sunshine. But the brightest star of all stood underneath it, a smile on her face.

“You came!” Princess Elise blurted out, rushing towards her. She stopped herself paces before Sakura, awkwardly falling into a curtsy. Sakura mirrored her movements with grace, fighting to keep the disappointment from her face.

The Princess had grown taller, her hair pulled back into a single ponytail instead of two. She seemed more mature, though her smile was as friendly as Sakura remembered.

“I - I..,” she found herself stuttering, her resolve wavering for the first time in months. She swallowed, feeling small underneath Elise’s radiance. Remembering why she came, she pressed her hand to the black rose pinned on the side of her obi. “I came to thank you for your gift. It’s very lovely.”

“You like it?” Elise beamed brightly, before carefully schooling her features to contain her delight. “I mean, I’m glad that it’s to your liking.” Her voice was diplomatic and gentle, and nothing like the girl who had greeted her in prison last year.

Sakura shook her head. “P-please, you don’t have to mince your words for me.”

“Really? My tutors keep telling me it is ‘unbecoming’ for a lady to speak like I do. I’m trying to become more ladylike, but I’m not very good at it,” she admitted while sitting down on the large purple sofa.

Sakura sat herself down, perhaps closer than was appropriate for their station. “I think you’re doing very well.”

Elise’s snort was anything but graceful. “Now you’re just trying to make feel good!”

“I assure you, I’m not.” Sakura gave up fighting the smile on her face. She felt light-headed and strange, but not in a bad way.

“You’re _sooo_ nice. I’m so happy you’re here again!”

“As am I,” Sakura answered, though not entirely truthfully. She thought back of the long ride here, the darkness that swallowed up the sun, and the sacred bow that was carefully tugged between her luggage, hidden from view, but never far away. The thought of having someone else’s fingers on it brought shivers to her spine, and she stood up abruptly. “I’m afraid I can’t stay much longer. I still have to prepare my outfit for tonight’s banquet, as well as tomorrow’s ball.” Sakura quickly excused herself.

Elise looked at her with a single raised brow. “Oh, puh- _lease!_ You look beautiful enough for dinner tonight! Stay a bit longer.”

“I-,” Sakura hesitated, the impulses of an addict battling with the light of the sun within her. “I would l-love to! B-but-”

“You can borrow one of my dresses! And I always do my own hair, Camilla taught me how when we were young. I can do yours as well!” Elise cut her off, pulling hand, urging her to sit down. When Sakura didn’t move, her voice dropped to a desperate plea. “Please? My brothers and sisters are so busy with the preparations, and they don’t let me help. I’m so bored and lonely in here...”

Those pleading eyes would have been enough to sway her, but the memories of her own siblings helped as well. “V-very well then,” Sakura whispered, her voice high in her throat. A flash of Ryoma’s sword, of Takumi’s frowning face, and of Hinoka’s perpetual sadness dashed through her mind, to be buried quickly again. Sakura’s fingers twitched with the same motion it would take to unleash the string of a bow.

Elise was oblivious to the ache that tormented Sakura’s heart, her smile as radiant as it had been before. “Thank you _so_ much! You won’t regret this! I’ll make you the belle of the ball!” she promised, her voice kind and soothing.

Sakura allowed herself to be pulled away by her helping hands and endearing optimism. Nohrian dresses were strange and often too revealing for her tastes, but the joy on Elise’s face while she dressed her up like a doll was enough to keep her quiet.

Before long, the floor was covered in discarded dresses, none of them were elegant enough to suit the tastes of the youngest Nohrian princess. Sakura felt naked under her scrutinizing eye as Elise held up another frilly dress in front of her, only to discard it immediately after for another one. From the corner of her eye, she could see a maid regard them with a badly concealed look of disdain, and on impulse, Sakura stepped on one of the discarded garments with her dirty shoes, just to see her face fall even more. A night spend scrubbing in the washing rooms was a petty, but fitting revenge for the disdainful looks she had to endure from the castle staff thus far.

In the end, Elise decided upon a dress that was by far the darkest and most conservative garment in her entire closet. When asked, the Nohrian princess cheekily replied that black was obviously Sakura’s favorite color, since she wore it everyday, and she didn’t want make her feel uncomfortable. Oddly touched by her incorrect observation, Sakura merely nodded and set to changing her clothing behind the dressing screen.

The many layers of her dark kimono came off with ease, and Sakura carefully folded them before the Nohrian maid could, not trusting her with the precious fabric. Every now and then, Elise peeked around the corner to see how far she was, making Sakura’s fingers tremble every time she felt her eyes on her body. Sakura knew that she meant nothing by it. Considering how both Kamui and Camilla dressed, Elise probably grew up with a lot more nudity than Sakura had ever seen in her life. But it was easy to imagine an entirely different intention behind those glances, and no matter how farfetched those thoughts were, they made her heart race in her throat and turned her face a shade of red the darker than her hair.

She forced herself to calm down while she undid the last layer. The pink handkerchief she always wore over her heart threatened to fall from its resting place, and Elise pressed it back where it belonged before it could hit the ground. She picked that exact moment to check in on her once again, and immediately recognized the pink fabric.

“You still have that?” she asked curiously, pointing at the handkerchief. Sakura jumped as if caught red-handed.

“I… wanted to give it back to you!” she blurted before Elise could say anything else, and immediately offered up her most sacred price to the Nohrian princess. It wasn’t until Elise took it from her hands to examine it that she felt naked, despite still wearing underwear. She quickly covered herself with the petticoat of her borrowed dress.

“I didn’t think you kept it all this time.” Elise’s voice was quiet, her eyes strangely downcast.

Sakura remembered a time when Elise had first gifted the handkerchief to her. It had been nights after she had been taken captive, and the screams of her burning retainers still echoed in her ears. She had been a prisoner of war, carefully contained in a golden cage, but a prisoner nonetheless. Once her tears ran out, she had spent hours staring at the stone walls in front of her, refusing to accept any food from the monsters that had captured her, craving nothing but the comfort of death.

That was, until Elise came to visit her. She had been cheerful, too happy for a child fighting a war. Sakura had seen her wield tomes with a skill and ferocity that matched her siblings, and knew that this girl was as dangerous as the rest of the Nohrian family. She had expected her to be her executioner, but instead, Elise had been her savior.

They talked all night. At first, Elise had done all the talking, telling her about how brave she was, how beautiful Hoshido was, and how it was all going to be okay after the war. She had spoken of hope, of fields full of flowers, and cloudless skies. Her words spoke of a child’s hopes and dreams, and yet Sakura had found herself crying once again, her heart no longer dulled with pain. Elise had offered her a warm hug and a handkerchief, but more importantly, a will to live.

Looking back upon those dark nights spent as a prisoner of war, Sakura wondered if Hinoka knew that Elise was the only reason she didn’t have to bury another sibling.

When the war ended, it all happened too quickly. Her brothers were dead and her sister was queen, and Sakura was alone, save for the darkness that loomed over her shoulder, whispering sweet nothings in her ears. The only thing she had to keep the nightmares at bay was the handkerchief, always worn directly over her heart as a reminder about why it was still beating. It was a crutch, she realized now. Perhaps it was better she returned it to its owner, no matter how weak she felt without it.

When Elise didn’t say anything, Sakura sought to words to express her feelings, but fell short. Instead she closed her eyes and bowed deeply in gratitude, and whispered words only meant for Elise’s ears. “Thank you for lending it to me, and for your words at the time. I… don’t know if I could have survived without your company in that dark cell.”

When Sakura opened her eyes, she was surprised by Elise’s outstretched hand, offering the handkerchief back to her. “No, you should keep it,” she said gravely, pushing it in Sakura’s hands when she didn’t move to take it from her hands. “And you shouldn’t be thanking me. My family may think I’m naive, but I’m not stupid. I put you in that cell in the first place, and I don’t deserve gratitude for something as simple as talking to you for a bit.”

“You didn’t imprison me,” Sakura protested quickly. _Kamui did_ , the voice in the back of her mind echoed instead.

Elise shook her head, her eyes distant. “Maybe not with my own hands, but I listened to father all the same. I shouldn’t have talked to you, I should have done the thing my heart told me to do that day, and set you free.”

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again before she could summon the words. A blush rose to her cheeks, one that had nothing to do with her state of undress. “W-what does your h-heart say now?” she squeaked out eventually, barely able to form the syllables.

For a moment Elise looked at her strangely, before she smiled once again like the sun, every other emotion that showed on her face before eclipsed by it. Sakura wondered if it was intentional. “That I’m really happy to see you smiling again!” she exclaimed happily.

For a second she considered letting go of the handkerchief, of denying the feelings in her chest. It made her weak, but like an addict, she craved the feeling of silky soft fabric against her skin. In the end she placed it on top of her folded kimono, next to her eternal rose, and bowed deeply once again. “Thank you for all of this.”

Elise nodded, and started to help her put on the unfamiliar dress, layer for layer. “No problem! Now, stand still so I can help you lace up the back. It feels a bit tight in the beginning, but it’s really great for your posture.”

Sakura’s chest felt constricted with every layer of clothing that was added, but it had nothing to do with corset and everything with the warm hands that ghosted over her skin. Wisely, she kept her silence.

Once they were done, she set to braiding Sakura’s hair. It had grown, but it was still far to short to be pulled into any elaborate braid, much to Elise’s chagrin.

“You could do mine instead! Azura showed me some drawings of Hoshidan ladies with really pretty hair,” Elise offered, and Sakura was happy to comply.

Maybe she was being narcissistic, she thought to herself as she allowed her fingers to brush through Elise’s long locks of golden hair many more times than was necessary to untangle it. Elise didn’t seem to notice. Sakura shouldn’t have been surprised, with doting sisters like Camilla and…Kamui.

Maybe this is why she could forgive everyone except her. Xander was like Ryoma, dutiful but just. The flower he had given her was a testament to that. Camilla, albeit more lovingly and obsessively caring, was not unlike Hinoka in her diligence. And though their tempers were very different, Sakura would have been very surprised if Leo and Takumi didn’t get along, if they could have put their pride and prejudices aside to become friends. They were mirror images, complementing reflections, and for a quiet moment, Sakura allowed herself to imagine a different life where all of them were friends. Strangely enough, it wasn’t so hard to imagine.

But she still couldn’t think the same about Kamui. Something deep down inside her, something rotten, knew that Kamui had belonged to them. That if she had chosen differently, her kingdom and her brothers wouldn’t have suffered. She never stopped apologizing for her choices, saying how sorry she was for everything she had done. But Kamui still chose to kill Ryoma and Takumi anyway, as if those apologies were nothing but words. To Sakura, they had lost their worth a long time ago.

There was no mirror image for Kamui, not even Azura. Her words, though often vague, had at least been truthful. There was no equivalent to Azura either, wherever she may be now. Perhaps that was why she had fled as soon as the war ended, turning her back on the broken lands. In a sense, Kamui belonged to both nations, but Azura belonged to neither, forever a stranger.

But with Elise right in front of her, it was hard to deny that she did not have a mirror image, in the form of a young woman who had first been disdainful of her, only to embrace her later.

Perhaps _this_ is narcissism, she thought with no small amount of self-loathing. _We are so alike, but you are the preferred sister, the lovelier one, the one Kamui choose._

Sakura had tried to hate her for it, but different emotions had started to swirl in her gut instead, ones that made her want to linger a little bit longer against the soft skin of her neck, tracing down until goosebumps appeared. It was a dangerous feeling, but not one she could help.

How could a person hate a vision of their better self? Elise shone brighter than any star with all the confidence and radiance that Sakura lacked. Her smile was like a breath of spring, and she could never hope to compete with this girl. But instead of jealousy, Sakura dreamed of rosy lips and forgiving eyes full of life, and she knew that this emotion wasn’t hatred at all.

Quite the opposite, really.

The realization struck her like thunder, and Sakura retracted her hands as if Elise’s hair like it was on fire.

Elise looked up, her lovely lips twisted in confusion, and Sakura wanted to scream.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry!” she stuttered, quickly moving to her feet. “I have to go. N-now!”

“But dinner starts in an hour…”

“I really need to go,” Sakura repeated, her hands already on the doorknob.

Elise frowned sadly, but allowed her to leave like the wonderful selfless girl she was. Sakura bowed quickly, and ran out of the room, her heart racing in her chest.

She couldn’t be feeling these things, _shouldn’t_ be, and yet the butterflies in her stomach made her knees weak as her mind wandered back to how rosy Elise’s lips had looked under the candlelight, how easy it would have taken to bend down and press her own against hers.

Sakura clutched her head and immediately banished the thought. Elise had only showed her kindness, and _this_ is how she repaid it? The headache that suddenly overcame her was agonizing, powerful enough to make her sway on her feet.

 _Besides_ , the dark voice whispered into her ear, _who could ever love a plain, useless little girl like you?_

Sakura choked on a sob, trying not to let her tears fall. She wasn’t crying out of grief, but her tears came from simmering anger, fury that squashed the butterflies dancing in her chest. Along with it came shame, because deep in her heart, she knew that the voice was not lying.

Another wave of pain shot through her, nearly blinding her, and making her stumble on her feet. A maid called her name from behind her in distress, but it was already too late. She lost her footing and tumbled to the floor, bracing for an impact that never came.

Then the world turned black and she knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOBODY SAW ELISE COMING. HOW? WHY? IS SAKULISE NOT EVERYONE'S OTP???
> 
> Ahem, now that (and some really important but simple politics) are out of the way, the next chapter is the arc final, in which everyone gets their say. This weeks reader question/ vague hint is: someone dies. That's it. See you next week, for a toast to the former future!


	10. A Toast to the Former Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Arc of The Forbidden Kingdom ends in a grand ball, chock full of dazzling gowns, conflicting politics and....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Remember the warning from last chapter? It's coming. It's written rather gently, but still.

> **_Flora_ **

 

The candlelight felt warm on Flora’s skin, the scent of perfume and roses high in the air while one couple after another arrived to the ballroom. It was the first proper Winter Solstice ball in many years, and it showed in the amount of people who had gathered in the palace ballroom. Flora recognized the Duke of Izumo and his entourage, already sampling some of the wine, loudly proclaiming it the event of the year before it had even properly started. Not to far from him, what seemed to be the entire Nestrian council and their spouses had gathered, glaring at the duke with  thinly veiled disapproval. The queen of Hoshido stood in the middle of the room, already surrounded by diplomats begging for her favor.

Her own father stood not too far away from them, eyeing her intently with Felicia at his side. Flora pretended not to see them, lest they cause a scene. She had yet to answer any of her father’s inquiring letters about her position as Lord Leo’s retainer ever since she had gained the position last fall, every letter more demanding than the last. She knew he meant well but he had made his choice that day, and so had she.

Her new position had taken her all over Nohr and beyond. She had seen both the best and worst of Macarath, speaking with high nobles and crime lords alike. Leo had taken them to Nestra where she tasted fine wines, and watched the best dancers and singers of the world perform for their favor. It was hard work, and Niles was a nuisance to her even on his best days, but as she straightened the folds of her dress, Flora realized that she had never felt this alive before in her life.

This was her first time attending an official event at court as a royal retainer rather than as a servant, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t work to be done, so she never trailed too far from her lord. The cut of her fellow retainer’s shirt was scandalously low as usual, but Niles seemed to revel in the stares it attracted. He cut a strange figure, seemingly lewd and lazy among many stiff nobles, but by now, she knew it was all a ruse. His single functional eye never wavered, and neither did his guard. Flora was willing to bet that not a single whisper tonight would get past him.

She had learned to respect Niles over the past months, but that didn’t mean she had to like him.

His voice was as teasing as always when he approached her. “Not going over to Daddy Dearest to give him a hug?”

Flora sighed, rubbing her temples. “We’re on duty, Niles. There is hardly time for personal business with the amount of foreign dignitaries attending.”

“Whatever you say, Ice Princess.” Then, a cruel smile twisted his features. “Well, not a princess yet, but you’d like to be, wouldn’t you?”

Flora narrowed her eyes. “As usual, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“So cold!” Niles exclaimed in mock pain. Flora silently prayed nobody could hear them. “No wonder your father is disappointed in you. Or is that because you haven’t snared the king between your little fingers yet?”

“W-what?” Her eyes went wide before she could stop it, knowing that she had fallen straight into his trap. How did he know about that? Her father’s mission had been as far from her mind as she could push it away, and the king had never indicated that he knew anything about her father’s plans. So how on earth…?

Niles rolled his eyes, the pleased little smile on his face so infuriating that Flora had to bite her lip to stop herself from slapping it from his face. “Oh, please! The court has been whispering about it for weeks. Though between you and me, I think you’re losing your little game of chess to the Hoshidan princess. I hear she got a priceless eternal rose from the king as a Winter Solstice gift. What did he give you, hmm? A polite smile as you passed him in the hallway?”

“That is  _ none  _ of your business,” she grit out between her teeth, her fingers balled into her gown.  _ Don’t cause a scene, don’t get mad,  _ she chanted in her mind. In the few months they had known each other, Niles exhibited the unnerving talent of getting under her skin unlike anyone else, making it hard to keep her calm composure when he had it out for her.

“Is that sadness I detect? It _is!”_ he continued mercilessly, reveling in the cracks in her restraint. “Why don’t you just head over there and fall into your father’s arms like we both know you eventually will, and beg for his forgiveness? I bet you’d look good on your knees...”Flora slammed down the glass of wine she’d been holding before it became frozen solid.  “You’re lucky the whole court is watching, or I’d freeze you right on the spot,” she said calmly, her words sharp as ice.

“Am I supposed to be scared now?” Niles replied, unimpressed. Her circled around her like a predator, scrutinizing her for more weaknesses to exploit. “Come on, you’re all bark and no bite. At least Odin could put some truth behind his words from time to time.”

“Excuse me for having a shred of decency,” Flora scoffed back.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she had made a mistake. Niles had made no secret that he didn’t trust her from day one, but while his teasing was hurtful, it was still just that,  _ teasing _ .

She barely remembered Lord Leo’s previous retainer, but she had heard plenty about him.  His tendency towards theatrics had been entertaining during the war, but it was hardly appropriate for a royal retainer. Niles hardly ever spoke fondly about him, but she should have known that it didn’t mean that he didn’t miss the odd fellow as much as Lord Leo. He would not take kindly to her insulting Odin.

“Ha! Don’t make me laugh!” he snapped after a short silence, the smile gone from his face. “Odin might have been a lunatic, but at least he had the  _ decency _ to not abandon his liege the second Lord Leo turned his back. Unlike someone here.” His words were like daggers, aimed to hurt her where he knew she would bleed the most.

If she didn’t, she would have apologized. Instead, she felt the blood rush through her veins, taking the words from her lips as all reason disappeared. Around her, the air started to freeze, but that did not dissuade Niles in the least.

If anything, he enjoyed watching her come undone in front of the public eye. “Not so decent now, are we?” he whispered cruelly, a small sadistic smile playing over his lips.

Niles made an excessively flourishing bow, and kissed her hand in mock respect. “You can wear all the pretty dresses you like, fool Lord Leo with your fake tears and polite words. But remember, I was there when your loyalty was tested, and I saw it fall short. Remember that next time you think yourself above Odin, little traitor.”

Flora took a deep breath and schooled her features, yanking her hand from his. In the past, she would have let her shoulders sag and accept his verbal assault without complaint because she she knew it was true. The Flora of the past would have ran back into her father’s arms, would have cried in her sleep about the unfairness of the world.

But she was no longer that woman, hadn’t been ever since she had sworn her life and loyalty to Lord Leo back on that autumn afternoon. He had deemed her worthy of redemption, and with every day she had spent dedicated to his service, she had started to believe his words as well. She shot one look at her lord, and straightened her shoulders, raising her eyes to meet Niles head on, unafraid.

“I made mistakes, but I’m not the only one here who has,” she countered, her voice firm but never above a whisper. “Lord Leo has given me a second chance, and you should know better than anyone else what that means. And that I will  _ never  _ disappoint him.”

Something changed in Niles’ face, and for once he didn’t have a snapping taunt ready to insult her. Uncertain what that meant, Flora opened her mouth to continue defending herself, but she was interrupted before she could speak.

“Cut it out, both of you!” Lord Leo barked, stepping closer to them. A flush rose to Flora’s face. How much had he heard? “You’re here on my behalf, and I expect you two to behave the part. Fight your petty quarrels out in your own time.” 

“Of course, Lord Leo. My apologies.” Flora curtsied deeply, shame coloring her cheeks bright red.

Even Niles looked mildly apologetic, his voice quieter than usual. “Flora and I will continue this behind closed doors at your command, milord.”

Prince Leo held up his hand, cutting him off. “I don’t care. Now, keep your eyes on the crowd, my brother is about to commence the ball, and something is brewing here.”

Niles shot her a look that was all business, and Flora put her feelings aside. Why hadn’t they noticed it before? Besides the scent of expensive perfume, there was something foul in the air. The guest were sneaking looks between the Hoshidan royal family and the Norhian one every now and then, and more than one servant seemed uneasy. This was the largest ball court had known since the beginning of the war. People should be elated, not wary.

Flora searched her brain for reasons until she remembered a casual conversation she had with a young girl in the washing room the evening before when she tried to get a particularly persistent tomato stain out of her lord’s trousers. “The maids informed me that they were short of staff for tonight, so the palace staff hired several temporary servants for tonight,” she whispered.

Niles’ eyes immediately shot to butler closest to them. “Fresh meat, huh? How painfully easy it’d be to slip in an assassin.”

“My thoughts exactly. I expect the two of you to keep your eyes wide open while I attend to my own duties,” Prince Leo said, peering at his blissfully unaware siblings. After the issues in Hoshido last summer, he had grown twice as protective over all of them.

“Well, well, well, what’s a good ball without some fun? Nohrian court has never been known for it’s lack of bloodshed.” Niles’ tone was as laid back as usual, but Flora could see him position the dagger hidden in his sleeve. As much as they were at each other’s necks, she knew she could count on him to have her back when it mattered.

“We won’t disappoint you, milord,” Flora promised, feeling the weight of her own daggers hidden in her slippers, glad that she had decided to wear her old maid’s shoes regardless of the occasion.

“I expected nothing less.” Prince Leo’s words were short, but his voice was approving, and it was all his retainers needed to double their efforts. He turned around and proceeded towards some of the attending nobles. Flora and Niles never left his shadow, ready to strike at any moment.

Her father’s eyes burned into her back, and without looking, she knew that Felicia wished to approach her, but Flora told herself that duty came before family, and resisted the urge to approach them. Niles, in a surprising moment of mercy, kept their circuits around the ballroom far away from her family, but every now and then, she would meet her sister’s eyes while Felicia performed her own duties in court.

Felicia looked wonderful in her traditional Ice Tribe dress, made from a deceptively thin, light blue fabric that seemed to flow down from her hips like water. Unlike Flora’s Nohrian gown, it was made for dancing instead of hiding weapons, and it showed with every twirl she made on the dancefloor. 

Felicia looked every bit the Ice princess Niles accused Flora of being, and yet her smile seemed off. Felicia had desired her position as much as Flora had wanted to surrender it, which was to say, not at all. Deep inside, Flora was torn between resentment and pity for her sister. Felicia had everything Flora had ever wanted in her life, everything from her position to the dress she was wearing. But Felicia had always been a sweet girl who never lusted for power. Flora averted her eyes, burying the ancient jealousy with the rest of her feelings. 

Flora took a deep breath, forced a polite smile on her face, and shot a quick look at Niles and Lord Leo, who were never far from away from her side. Just because they hadn’t gotten what they wanted didn’t mean that their future wasn’t bright. With a polite smile and a clear mind, she got to work.

 

> **_Xander_ **

 

“Thank you all for joining my siblings and me tonight for my first Winter Solstice ball as your king. I am honored by your attendance, and hope that the peace we found this year will continue to flourish in the next.” 

All eyes were on Xander the moment he rose to his feet. From on top of the dais, he could see many familiar faces, but also many unfamiliar ones as well. Try as he might, Xander could not remember a time that their annual Winter Solstice ball had attracted so much attention from foreign countries. “It is Nohrian tradition to dedicate this night to a person of great importance, a champion of the lands. In the past, my father and those who came before him have always named a single name. But I intend to be a different kind of king, and as such, I will break with this tradition, although only slightly.” 

Xander paused his speech for a moment, letting the words sink in while a butler handed him a glass full of red wine. “Raise your glasses, my friends. I propose a toast to all of our fallen friends and allies. Each one of us has lost close companions during the war, some more than others. Tonight, we dance in their memory. May it never die,” he concluded gravely. 

While some nobles disapproved of him breaking an ancient tradition, he could see that those who had stood by his side during the war shared his sentiment. To those who had stood on the opposite side of the battle, his words resonated even deeper, if Princess’ Sakura’s wide-eyed look was any indication. 

Before the festive mood was completely gone, Xander reminded himself of the better days spent at his father’s side as a child, of sharing meals with his siblings, of Kamui’s laughter on a rare sunny day. He turned to the orchestra with a smile on his face. “Maestro, commence the music, and make it a happy song, for I will remember my lost ones fondly tonight. Hereby I officially open this ball, and hope you will all do the same.”

Upon his command, a spirited tradition Winter Solstice waltz started playing, but none of the couples took to the floor. Perhaps he had been wrong to break tradition after all. Why did people still look at him in fear, even today? He wasn’t even wearing formal civilian clothing, and Siegfried had even been carefully stored and guarded in quarters. And still, people seemed hesitant.

Xander opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself when he saw Elise run down the dais towards Princess Sakura. Like a sharp blade, she cut through both the crowd and tension like butter, and promptly asked the Hoshidan Princess to dance with her. Sakura blushed a bright red in embarrassment, but accepted the outstretched hand anyway. 

And just like that, his guests followed her lead, smiling and dancing in the name of their fallen friends. Even from up here, he could hear some of them recall fond memories of times long gone. The people called Elise the heart of Nohr, and they were right.

“You should join them, brother,” Camilla whispered in his ear, her eyes on their sister as well.

His sister wore a long, black and golden dress with a lavender trimming and an open back, looking far more modest than usual. Perhaps it was the winter weather, Xander reasoned. “Later, Camilla. I should speak to the guards first. Leo told me we might have a security leak.”

Their brother was already back in between the guests, making small talk to nobles to appear inconspicuous. From time to time, his intelligent eyes darted to Xander, conveying his findings. There was something suspicious hanging in the air, and with everyone who mattered present in his home, it would be disastrous if something would happen. This was a night dedicated to peace and those who died for it, but that didn’t mean that everyone shared that sentiment.

Camilla didn’t share his worries, so she urged him to take another sip of his wine. “Let him take care of it, he’s old and wise enough. You’re no longer just the protector of your people. You are their leader as well, and in this unprecedented time of peace, they seek to follow your example.”

“A lesson we can all learn from Elise, I’m certain,” Xander agreed.

In the middle of the golden floor, their little sister expertly led Sakura through a waltz, unaware how many fond gazes she was drawing with her sincere enthusiasm. “She’s come a long way since that day she was put into our arms as a baby, don’t you think?” Camilla commented fondly, and Xander found himself nodding. 

“Despite it all, I think we raised her well.”

“She’ll always remain that little ball of joy in my eyes.” Camilla caught Kamui’s eye, and pulled her closer to them, including them into the conversation. “As do you, my precious sister. You look wonderful in that dress!”

She truly did, to the point that Xander had to earnestly stop himself from staring. Her long dress was as dark as the Nohrian sky, glittering with hundreds of tiny golden stars, each reflecting the warm light from candles. The only pieces of jewelry she wore were the small golden tiara that used to belong to Camilla, and her dragonstone, which was crudely made into a necklace. 

Kamui raised an eyebrow at her sister. “Are you complimenting me for wearing it, or yourself for picking it out for me?”

“Why not both? I’m glad to have such a wonderful sister, though it doesn’t hurt to be blessed with an amazing sense of fashion,” she joked back, shielding her fond smile with her fan.

They continued to tease each other for a while longer, and Xander tuned out of the conversation, his mind full of duties he should be attending to. While the Hoshidan queen had graced them with her presence, as did most local rulers, some absences spoke louder than others. 

A part of the Chevois population had been decimated during the war for betrayal, but a new duke had been appointed months ago. Xander had only seen the man once, but he would never forget the scornful looks he had received from Duke Sorrell. It was unsettling that the duke hadn’t chosen to decline his invitation formally, and Xander knew that by tomorrow, half of the court would be whispering about it, making it impossible for him not to act on such disrespectful behavior.

“Is something wrong, Xander?” Kamui surprised him, pulling him from his thoughts. “You look troubled.”

“Am I such an open book to you?” Xander frowned. When she nodded, he sighed, rubbing his temples and quietly admitting the truth. “I suppose I envy Elise a bit. Everyone regards at her with gratitude and love. I suppose it’s the wine talking, but for one night, I wish that people wouldn’t look at me with fear whenever I speak to them.”

Camilla put a hand on his shoulder, a frown on her face. “Xander…”

He shook his head, feeling unworthy of their pity. It hurt him to admit such personal things, and to anyone else, he never would have. But Camilla was his closest companion, and Kamui had always been his greatest weakness. 

“I meant it when I said I wanted to have a different reign than father’s. His reliance on intimidation to scare the people into compliance resulted in one revolt after another. I know that my new policies aren’t often well-received, but since they’re for the good of Nohr, I shouldn’t be complaining about my reputation. And yet, I would like to know how it feels like to be so universally loved like Elise, if only for tonight,” he admitted with a sigh, his eyes on the dancing princess.

When Kamui spoke, her voice was soft yet clear, and he could hear all the years the war had aged her in her words. “We all made sacrifices to win this war. My brother gave his life for this cause, but in a way, so did you. Our people only know you as a king and soldier, and not as a man.” 

Kamui’s eyes narrowed, and Xander didn’t dare to look away from her, so intense was her gaze. “When they look at me, they see the hero, the dragon, or the traitor. Don’t think I haven’t heard what they call me in Hoshido, and even some Nohrians call me a monster. But I’ve made my peace with the choices I’ve made, and it’s set me free.”

“When they see me, they see the conqueror, the wielder of Siegfried, rather than a man they can trust. But you’re right, I chose this fate, even if it wasn’t for my own sake, and just like you, I will bear the consequences,” Xander resolved quietly, and he felt lighter when Kamui smiled proudly at him. 

“We must all play our parts for Nohr, brother. Those were your words to me as a child, and they remain true to this day,” Camilla interjected, shaking her head. “But Nohr has changed, and so can you. If you want your subjects to regard you more fondly, then your policies should reflect that.”

“I won’t use our precious resources to improve my image, Camilla,” Xander said with a frown.

His sister rolled her eyes and took another sip of her wine. “I never said that. But it wouldn’t help to wipe that frown off your face, and smile a bit more? You have a lovely smile, but I doubt that anyone outside of your close circle has ever had the pleasure of seeing it,” she teased him, but as much as he loathed to admit it, she did have a point. Xander tried to forcibly unwrinkle his brows, but it had long become a habit.

A sly smile spread on his sister’s lips, and Xander knew what she was about to say before she even opened her mouth. “And, as I’ve told you before, you should take a wife. Aside from the political leverage, it will also make people see you in a different light if you show them your softer side.”

“You’ve made your point time and again, Camilla. But I suppose you’re right, I should marry,” Xander conceded. Kamui nearly choked on a sip of wine, her eyes wide.

“What? I didn’t know you had your eyes on someone. Xander, why didn’t you tell me?” Kamui asked as soon as she swallowed, her eyes searching his for answers. She glanced at Flora. 

“I…” Xander started, his eyes following hers. He had almost forgotten about her former maid. There had been many more offers presented to him ever since, but his siblings remained blissfully unaware about them. “Kamui, the Nohrian royal family marries for the realm, not for love. Your tutors at the Northern Fortress should have covered that.”

Camilla looked pleased. “So you finally agree?” 

Xander nodded. “It’s for the best. Just because I have declined all of my suitors and lovers in the past doesn’t mean that the issue isn’t alive at court. I should marry before the past repeats itself among the potential brides.”

Camilla nodded sagely, a dark look in her eyes.

“What past?” Kamui asked, looking back and forth between her brother and sister, and only then did it occur that her sheltered upbringing meant she was in the dark about things that were common knowledge at court. 

Xander shot a look at Camilla, but to her credit, her smile only faltered a bit. 

“Dear, I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors of why my mother was sentenced to death, right?” she said with a sugary sweet tone. When Kamui shook her head, horror in eyes, Camilla continued. “You haven’t heard that tale? You must be the only one in the room. It’s no secret that my mother plotted to kill father’s other concubines to gain his favor. She was caught red-handed when she tried to poison Leo, and later, she was executed for the murder of one of father’s other concubines.”

“That’s horrible!” Kamui exclaimed a bit louder than was appropriate.

Camilla was about to argue with her, but he cut her off before she could sour the evening with talk of all the horrible things that had occurred during their childhood. “That’s Nohrian politics. Or at least it used to be. The court has cleaned up since then, and we intend to keep it that way,” he said curtly, effectively ending that conversation.

Kamui still looked a bit horrified, and Xander was surprised that she didn’t know about his family's bloody past. Didn’t she speak to pretty much everyone she encountered?

As soon as that thought crossed his mind, another idea came to him, one foolish and masochistic enough to actually work. “On that note, I require a rather large favor from you, Kamui.”

There was a playful twinkle in her eyes when she answered him, her tone thoughtful. “Every match we’ve had so far ended in a draw, so you haven’t earned one yet. If you want a favor, I want one in return.”

And here he thought that Camilla was the sly one. “That is only fair, I suppose,” Xander admitted with an amused smile. “Very well, little princess. Name your price.”

The smile on Kamui’s face looked positively victorious, and at that moment, he knew he had walked straight into her trap. “I want you to dance with me.”

“... That wasn’t what I expected,” Xander admitted bluntly, not knowing what else to say.

“You haven’t danced with me since I was a child. At every social gathering, you always find some excuse to avoid dancing with me. I know I used to step on your toes a lot, but I’ve gotten better,” she promised, the pout in her lips making her look more like Elise than she had any right to be.  Even if she didn’t hold his heart within the palm of her hand, he would have had a hard time denying her request.

He had refrained from dancing with her to protect her, not to hurt her. In the end, all of hs good intentions meant nothing; by distancing himself from her, he had achieved the opposite effect.

“I apologize for making you feel like I avoided you, little princess,” he said sincerely, feeling his hands already becoming sweaty. “Very well, lead the way. Like you said before, a good king leads from example, so let’s show these foreigners how to waltz.” He was immediately rewarded with a bone crushing hug that nearly threw him off his feet. Kamui had no idea how much strength her draconic heritage granted her.

When they parted, he allowed her to lead him to the dance floor. Her hand was small but calloused, strong from fighting countless battles by his side. They had braved impossible odds together, what harm could a dance in honor of their fallen friends do?

 

> **_Kamui_ **

 

There was something different about Xander tonight, and it had nothing to do with the wine or the stylish purple and golden jacket he wore. It was the odd twinkle in his eyes that whispered something secret into her ears, one too soft for her to make out the words. It was his hand in hers, warm and sweaty, when she knew that he was perpetually cold.

She hadn’t expected him to dance with her, not after he had gone out of his way to avoid it time and again, but here they were, his hand resting on her waist and all eyes in the ballroom burning into her back. The music stopped for a moment, and they stood waiting, chest to chest and face to face, close enough to smell his cologne and feel his body heat. She might have imagined the hint of pink on Xander’s cheeks, but she didn’t have the time to think about it anymore when the orchestra began a new song.

The first few steps were awkward, nothing like those quiet evenings in the Northern Fortress, and had he always been this tall? She had danced the waltz numerous times since the end of the war, and yet it was different now, and every step felt laborious.

Then Xander leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. “Remember Kamui, a dance with your partner is nothing but a duel without swords,” he said, using the same tone he always used whenever he taught his siblings something new. His voice, rather than his words, made her relax, and it allowed him to lead her across the floor.

Together they cut a slow eight shape over the golden dance floor, moving as one. Once they fell into rhythm, dancing with him felt nothing like a waltz with Leo or Camilla. Every time Xander’s hand brushed over hers it wasn’t as if she was touching someone else. Rather, with every turn they took, it was as if they were one being, hearts beating in sync to the sound of the drum. As if sharing one mind, she knew what he was going to do before he did it.

As they glided in between the other couples, the world narrowed down to the violins and the warm hand in her own. “You’ve truly grown into a beautiful dancer, little princess,” Xander whispered with a whimsical smile on his face. For a man who claimed to dislike dancing, he seemed to be enjoying it very much. His eyes never left hers.

Kamui smiled breathlessly, twirling gracefully in his arms to the rhythm of the song. “Thank you for this, Xander. You cannot imagine how many times I’ve dreamed of dancing with you to the songs of Winter Solstice.” 

Every year, her siblings had returned with stories of wonderful gowns and drunk nobles, and as a child, she had wanted nothing more than to sneak out with them to join their world of wonder. Nohr wasn’t as magical as they had painted it to her as a child, but tonight, dancing in Xander’s arms, it was every bit as wonderful as she had imagined it.

“Laslow taught me few steps every now and then. He called my posture a disgrace to all dancers,” Xander chuckled with faraway look in his eyes.

“You miss him still, don’t you?”

Xander sighed and guided her through another turn. “Tonight, I’ll dance in his memory too, even though he’s merely vanished. Wherever Laslow is, I hope he’s happy and healthy.”

“Me too,” Kamui agreed. To herself, she whispered a silent prayer to the Dusk Dragon. It went out to Laslow, but also to Odin, Selena and Azura. The words were lost to the music, but Kamui hoped that wherever they were, the songs of Winter Solstice carried her wishes to them.

Xander and Kamui shared a smile, speeding up their movements to fit the change in rhythm. There was a rare, mischievous glint in his eyes that betrayed his intentions before he acted on them, but Kamui trusted him, and allowed him to lift her up high to rise of the music, letting her gown flutter wide by the momentum. For a second, she felt like soaring through the sky, free as a bird. Xander gracefully set her down again, guiding her into the next steps.

Kamui laughed, feeling lighter than the wind in his arms. “Now, what was this favor you wanted from me? You’ve earned it.”

Xander’s smile dropped and his brow scrunched up again, and Kamui instantly regretted reminding him of his duties. 

He swallowed, averting his eyes. “I want you to pick my bride for me.”

“What?” Kamui narrowly avoided stepping on his shoes when she lost her rhythm, nearly tripping in surprise. Xander’s strong arms around her were the only thing that kept her upright, her eyes wide as she recovered from the shock. “Xander, you can’t ask that of me! Isn’t there anyone who has caught your eye?”

Xander hesitated, opening his mouth once and closing it again. When he spoke again, Kamui had the feeling that the words that came out were not the ones he originally wanted to say. “You once read my innermost thoughts from the swing of my blade. If anyone knows my heart, it’s you. I trust you that whoever you choose will be perfect for me.”

When it came to combat, she knew him better than any other living soul, but during moments like these, he was as unreadable to her as he was to everyone else. She searched his eyes, but he had closed himself off, the steps that had been once so fluid before were now mechanical and practiced.  

“But Xander…”

“You already agreed, remember?” Xander tried to tease her, but he was too tense to deliver it. When she didn’t break a smile, he relented. “But if you truly don’t want to do it, I’ll think of another person to aid me.”

This wasn’t the place or the time to discus this, not with half of the continent’s leaders watching their every step. Kamui sincerely hoped nobody had heard her outburst just now, and plastered a practiced smile on her face. There was something resigned in Xander’s posture that hinted that he really meant what he said. She couldn’t imagine being up to the task, but she had always been unable to deny him anything when he looked as despondent as he did now. 

“ I’ll do it,” Kamui whispered. Xander immediately lit up again, and she prayed to the gods that she wasn’t making a terrible mistake. “You’re right, you already granted my favor, and I’m flattered that you would place your future into my hands.”

“You were tested before nearly four years ago, and you chose the best for Nohr. I have complete faith in you, little princess,” Xander praised her, twirling her through the air once more. This time it didn’t feel like she was putting her life in his hands, but the other way around.

“Oh, stop flattering me, I already agreed,” Kamui teased him back, kicking him softly on the shin when they spun over the dance floor one last time.

The song ended with a thundering applause. Kamui felt as breathless as Xander, and it had nothing to do with their dance. There was a flush to his cheeks when he took he bowed to her in thanks, placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand. “Thank you,” he whispered. He left, striding towards Hinoka to do his kingly duties and dance with the guest of honor.

Kamui watched him go, a blush high on her cheeks and something she couldn’t quite place swirling in her chest. “Yeah…”

 

> **_Sakura_ **

 

She shouldn’t feel jealous that Elise was dancing with the Archduke of Izumo, nor this victorious that of all people, Elise had chosen her as her first dance partner. If anything, Sakura should feel as uncomfortable as Hinoka looked, awkwardly making small talk with foreign nobles, pretending that these same men and women hadn’t planned to stab her in the back only a year before.

But Sakura couldn’t help it. Ever since Elise ran up to her, twin ponytails twirling in the wind behind her – no, ever since she had given her her handkerchief in that wretched cell – a small smile had been tugging at the corners of her lips, lifting her spirits at an otherwise dull party.

Normally, she agreed with most Hoshidans that Nohrian dances were too inappropriate, and watching Kamui and Xander dance certainly strengthened that feeling within her. The aristocrats she’d danced with so far always held her a bit too closely, their hands too stiff, forcing her to follow their lead. 

With Elise, she didn’t mind the intimacy. It was a game of pushing and pulling, of giving and receiving.  _ A game, _ Elise had whispered into her ear, and Sakura could have fainted right then and there.

But she didn’t. Despite the inappropriate feelings swirling dangerously in her guts, she was still a princess of Hoshido, and she owed it to her country to stay on her best behavior. 

Hinoka shot her a curious glance, one that stayed on her Nohrian dress and complimentary rose for a second longer than appropriate. It wasn’t very patriotic to wear the enemies’ colors, but after running off like that she couldn’t refuse Elise the pleasure of dressing her up.  _ Like twins! _ she had said while she pinned the Eternal Rose into Sakura’s hair, pointing at her own white one, and Sakura had just been grateful Elise had accepted her bathroom excuse without complaint. She couldn’t exactly remember how she had ended up on Elise’s couch after falling, but her memory hadn’t been the best as of late, so Sakura blamed it on the mesmerizing sparkle in Elise’s eyes. 

Sakura readjusted the flower in her hair. It was heavier than the sakura blossoms she used to wear as a child, but it was the weight of the eyes boring into her back that made her want to take it off. There were nobles whispering of marriage proposals, of alliances and treaties sealed with children. Yesterday, Sakura would have walked up to them and told them exactly what she thought about people who gossiped behind her back too loudly, but today, she felt too drained to get worked up over it.

So she kept her silence, and allowed Yukimura to guide her gently through the last steps of their waltz. He never said a word beyond those he owed her out of respect, but his eyes spoke volumes every time her Nohrian petticoat billowed when she turned too sharply. Sakura shrugged off her disquiet with practised ease; they had all but ignored her for months, and now they expected her to behave like their perfect first princess. She would smile prettily and dance for Hoshido, but she owed them nothing beyond that.

And yet, she didn’t hate the party as much as she thought she would. While castle Krakenburg was undoubtedly the den of the devil, at least the floors were clean of memories of blood, unlike home. Kamui had given up on approaching her, to Sakura’s great relief. Now, unburdened by the memories of death and betrayal, she only felt the harsh sting of loss.

Every step she made was a dance dedicated to Ryoma’s warm hands, and Takumi’s gentle smile, to every memory spent together. The hole in her soul ached louder than ever before, making her feel dispirited and hollow, keeping the anger at bay. The world was grayer for it, but less exhausting, and although every breath reminded her of what she had lost, it was nice to breathe something fresh.

And among all the dull shades of gray, one young woman stood out like a rainbow, her smile as radiant as the Hoshidan summer sun. Sakura curtsied like a Nohrian to Yukimura just to see the twitch in his smile, and stole away to Elise before another man could claim her next dance.

“There you are!” Elise exclaimed while breathing heavily. “You should dance with Izana too! He’s a super good dancer!”

The light of the candles made Elise’s hair shine impossibly bright. Sakura swallowed deeply. “I-I’d rather dance with y-you,” she stuttered out before she could stop herself. “I-i-i-if you don’t think that’s too forward of me?”

Elise shook her head. “I’d love to, but later, okay? I’m a bit tired. Izana really showed me every corner of the dance floor, so I feel dizzy.”

Dejected, Sakura bowed her head, feeling shame creep up on her cheeks. “My apologies for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me at all, silly!” Elise laughed angelically, her fingers dusting over Sakura’s shoulder, every touch making Sakura feel a little bit weaker in the knees. She needed to get away from her before it became too much to bear, but Elise stopped her before she could make a polite escape. “Hey, don’t leave! Let’s sit down in the alcove and watch big brother and sister dance. They look so happy!”

“Of course,” she said without meaning it, allowing Elise to guide her to a small alcove on the side of the room, furnitured with mahogany chairs and a golden chandelier. They settled down with Elise’s retainers flanking them from a polite distance. It felt rather private to Sakura, the light dim and the music reduced to a softer sound. Sakura let out a sigh of relief, thankful for the reprieve from the business of Nohrian court. 

Her companion did not share her feelings. Instead of watching Kamui dance, Elise swirled the wine in her cup back and forth, only taking small sips every now and then. She reminded Sakura of the spells of depression Azura used to fall in. Whenever they occurred, Sakura would find her watching over the lake alone, lost in thoughts.

For Azura, that had been nothing out of the ordinary. But Elise was not Azura, so Sakura gathered her guts and whispered: “Is something wrong?”

Something akin to fear flashed in Elise’s eyes. “I’m feeling a bit anxious, that’s all,” she muttered, refusing to meet Sakura’s gaze. “But Camilla says that in order to become a lady, I need to face my mistakes and apologize, even if it’s hard.”

Elise sighed, straightened her back, and bowed her head deeply. “I’m sorry, Sakura. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I’ve been keeping something from you for almost a year.”

Her apology was like thunder on a clear night, so out of the blue that Sakura did not know what to do with the sincerity in her words. “W-what?”

Elise reached for something hidden underneath her dress, her hands visibly shaking but her eyes made of steel. “As your brother lay dying, I sat by his side while he bled out. He was barely coherent, but right before the end, he entrusted me with this, and only said your name.”

From a hidden pocket, an old bloodstained envelope appeared, carefully inscribed with the Hoshido kanji for  _ To my dear sister _ in her brother’s careful hand. It was still sealed with his personal seal, and if that wasn’t enough, it even still smelled like him. Tears welled in Sakura’s eyes as she accepted the letter with trembling hands. She had almost forgotten these little details about him, even though she had sworn not to.

Elise’s eyes remained downcast. “It’s his will. First, I was too horrified, and then I was too busy to give it to you. But honestly? I was just scared to face you once I saw how much you were grieving. Lately, I’ve been dreaming of a world where Xander lay dying on the ground like that, crying my name, and I just..” her voice trailed off, a faraway look in her eyes. “Sorry, it was selfish, and I shouldn’t have kept this from you for such a long time just because I was afraid you would hate me for stalling. I hope you can forgive me someday.”

“This is...” Sakura muttered, conflicted. Something in her cried out to make a scene, to berate Elise for keeping this from her. But the girl looked about to cry, and within her eyes, Sakura could see a reflection of herself, lost and scared to lose the people she loved. Unlike Kamui, she meant every word she said, and with every breath, Sakura felt the anger slip away.

She took a deep breath, pressed the letter to her beating heart, and smiled through the tears. “You’re already forgiven. I… I can’t thank you enough for giving me this, even if it is late. I have it now, and that’s all that matters.”

“Do you really mean that?” Elise asked with a broken voice, her hands on her shoulder. Sakura nodded, and surprised herself with her own honesty. Elise gathered her up in her arms, drying her own tears in the fabric of Sakura’s dress while she muttered little  _ thank you’s  _ into her skin.

When they parted, Sakura felt kilos lighter than before. Elise averted her eyes politely while Sakura traced her brother’s handwriting with her finger, itching to open and read the last thing he had left her. It wasn’t appropriate, but Sakura was too happy to care.  _ To hell with propriety, _ she thought while she felt for the kunai hidden in between the layers of her dress to use it as a letter opener. But instead of meeting with cold metal, she felt a sticky, unknown substance ooze onto her finger.

But before she could inspect what it was, the atmosphere in the ballroom changed dramatically. The comfortable chatter changed to panicked mumbling.

“What’s all that noise about?” Elise dragged herself to her feet to investigate. Sakura followed her wordlessly.

When they returned to the dancefloor, Sakura could see the a few distraught maids and Kamui’s personal butler heatedly discussing something on the dais. Nobody could quite hear what was going on, but from the distraught look on Kamui and Camilla’s face, it was obvious that something terrible had happened.

Sakura shot a look at Elise, but unlike her siblings, she seemed completely calm, her hand still firmly clasped around hers. 

“May I have your attention, please.” As the former general of the Nohrian army, King Xander had the uncanny ability to make even his whispered comments heard across a large and chaotic battlefield. His voice had been trained to carry, and it now, cut through the murmurings of the crowd without problem. A hush of silence filled the room. “There has been a breach in our security. For the safety of our guests, we ask you all to return to your rooms with your guards while we resolve the situation.”

His voice was calm, but most of the gathered guests were not soldiers trained to keep their composure in situations like these. Those who had never seen a battle in their life panicked, quickly moving towards the doors or ordering their servants to draw their weapons. Those who had fought before muttered amongst themselves, their stances betraying a sense of preparation. 

This was the court of the strongest military power on the continent, perhaps even the world. Hoshido had tried time and again to penetrate this fortress, but only succeeded once during a moment of turmoil. Nohr was at the height of its power tonight, their government and army more stable than ever before, and yet something terrible had occurred. Sakura thought that it didn’t matter so much what had happened anymore, only that it did: the illusion of Nohrian invincibility had been shattered, and there was no coming back from that.

As Elise pulled her through the crowd, Sakura caught a whisper about murder from a passing maid, instantly chilling her blood in her veins. Her eyes shot to Hinoka, but to her relief, her sister was alive, albeit worried. 

The royal siblings continued to redirect guests to safe rooms, but Elise did not join them. Instead, she wrapped her deceptively strong hands around Sakura’s wrists and pulled her in the opposite direction.

“W-what?” Sakura stuttered as she was pulled along, almost falling over her own feet.

Elise halted once they were freed from the crowd, her retainers hot on her heels. “Let’s go to my room. Effie and Arthur can protect us both, and I’m pretty handy with a tome myself too, you know.” She added a wink that seemed entirely inappropriate for the situation, and Sakura realized Elise was putting on a brave front for her.

“B-but...” 

But Elise’s voice was as firm as her grip on her hand. “Xander can handle this. I just need you to be safe,” she said calmly, sounding a lot like her older brother. “Come, let’s go get your sister  too . Wouldn’t want the queen of Hoshido to be in danger.”

Sakura couldn’t do anything else but nod. “O-okay.”

Elise flashed her a smile before releasing her, already running off to rescue Hinoka from the crowd. Sakura remained behind, her knees still trembling, but not from the fear of being murdered. Her stomach dropped on the floor as she once more felt for her kunai, the same sticky liquid covering her fingertips anew. She had been fighting and healing for years, and there was no mistaking the texture. A horrific realization settled into her mind.

The dark voice in the back of her mind howled in victory. When she revealed the knife to the light, it was covered in half-dried blood. 

 

> **_Inigo_ **

 

As a child, the Ylissean New Year’s ball used to be Inigo’s favorite time of the year. As a former Shepherd, his mother was invited every year to dance for the Exalt and his family up until the year she died. Watching her as she performed used to have a revitalizing effect on him, but today, it only made him feel homesick and empty.

Last year, at the height of the war, Inigo, Owain, and Severa had gathered around a large bonfire together with their Nohrian allies. As if it were yesterday, he remembered the tired smile on Azura’s lips as he pulled her in for one more dance under the light of the Hoshidan stars. Owain got terribly drunk courtesy to Niles, and even Severa was in a good mood, her usual scowl absent for once. He’d missed his family – he always did, really - but as he watched Shigure and Soleil sleep in their mother’s arms that night, he praised Naga and Anankos for bringing him to this foreign realm, for giving him this chance to create a family of his own.

But that was then, when Soleil’s hair was still as blue as Azura’s, and his wife wasn’t dead, when the skies were still bright, and the world seemed full of promise.

Inigo sighed when his mother approached him for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Won’t you dance with me, Inigo?”

Inigo summoned a smile. It felt wrong on his face, but the light in his mother’s eyes was enough to make the strain worth it. “Oh, alright then, if you promise to watch the kids after this.”

His mother practically squealed in delight as he kissed the back of her hand and placed his hand on her waist, mentally counting down until the rhythm was right for them to start.

Olivia’s smile was teasing. “Are you tired already?”

“Soleil has been crying all night, every night. I’m exhausted,” Inigo confessed. His little daughter sat with her grandfather, dressed up in a tiny traditional Rosannean dress, flowers woven in her ever-growing pink hair. She was quiet for once, content to watch her grandmother dance the night away.

“That’s parenthood for you, sweetheart,” Olivia agreed with a knowing smile, and Inigo returned it sheepishly. He knew he had been a fussy sleeper during his youth, unable to fall asleep until the moon was high in the sky. That hadn’t really changed, if he was being brutally honest with himself.

It felt strange to dance with his mother. She was as amazing as she had always been, and deep inside, the desire to achieve her greatness bubbled up for the first time in almost a year. But it died down as quickly as it came, buried deep inside his soul.

The war was over in Ylisse. His home was safe, and it had no need for the dance nor the sword of its duke’s bastard son from the future. Still, it was good to be moving to the sound of the beat again with his mother. Without his ambition to surpass her, he didn’t feel the stage fright that had plagued him in the past, and like Azura had told him before their courtship, he was able to give his audience all he had to offer.

When the dance ended, a strange sense of empty peace and purpose settled within him, and the smile on his face was sincere.

His mother bowed to him when he released her, and her voice was as soft as satin. “I’m glad you returned to us, Inigo. New Year’s balls weren’t the same without you.”

He nodded, pushing back the tears as watched her return to Virion with a bright smile.  _ They had missed me _ , he thought,  _ but they had survived without me. _

All of a sudden, that the glittering Ylissean ballroom became too small for him. He looked at Shigure and Soleil one last time. They were playing with his younger counterpart, and his worries were put at ease.

With purpose, he strode to one of the glass doors. But before he could make his escape, Owain and Severa blocked his path. “Where are you going?” she asked while rocking a crying Ophelia back and forth.

Inigo presented his most radiant smile. “I need to catch some fresh air, so I’m going on a walk,” he explained, fanning himself to prove his point. Severa and Owain shared a look, but let him through.  

For a second, he considered turning around and imagined falling into their arms, crying. But they were parents now, with a future and worries of their own, and he wouldn’t bother them with his own. Still, before he closed the door behind him, he whispered to Owain: “Could you do me a favor and look after my kids while I’m away?”

“Of course...” Owain promised with a concerned look. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Inigo smiled, his heart once again at ease. “Never better, old friend. Goodbye.”

Owain and Severa watched him leave through the window, Ophelia happily waving back at him until the darkness concealed him.

He knew these gardens like the back of his hand, knew where the tutors were least likely to search for you, and where the best roses grew. Faint memories of a past long gone came back to him as he made his way to the pond where the lotus flowers bloomed in summer. He used to dance here late at night when everyone else was asleep, and all he had were his tears and the memories of his mother to keep him from losing his mind. There had been more flowers floating on the surface of the water then, or rather, there would be in a few years. Time travel still confused him sometimes.

Even in winter, the garden was wonderful. But there was no grave for Azura here, not in this world or in Nohr. But not even the most costly headstone would ever be enough for to ease the pain that her passing left behind, so it didn’t matter.

“I know you’re gone, Azura,” he whispered to the wind, his voice hoarse. “I know you’re not coming back, and that you died to create a better world for our children.” 

The wind did not answer back, but the cold and dark had always been a close companion on nights like these, and for a wonderful moment, it almost was as if he wasn’t alone. “You were always so good at keeping secrets, but I held a secret too, you know? I don’t think even told me you my real name... I always believed that there would be more time, a moment of peace where I could share all my secrets with you, so we would be even.”

Even now, it felt too painful to admit that she was dead.  

“It would only be fair, because I knew so many of yours without you ever saying a word. As soon as you told me your mother’s name, I knew why your song was so special, why you wouldn’t talk about your childhood. You see, I’ve seen your land, and it was as wonderful and as dangerous as you were, my love. I know about its curse, and the consequences.”

“But you’re gone, aren’t you? You can’t hear me now, or even our daughter’s first words. You’ve gone to a place where I can’t follow.” 

Inigo paused, and let the wind wash over his face. Something more than a chill ran down his spine when a thought occurred to him, one that thrilled him as much as it crushed him. 

“But...” Inigo trailed off, his voice catching in his throat. “But I  _ can _ . I only have to say the forbidden words, don’t I?” The wind howled in his ears, deafening everything around him. 

Inigo let out a small, sad chuckle. “I was going to remain strong, for you and for our children.” But as much as he tried, he was relic of a time long past. All he had ever known was to dance and to fight, and the world needed neither from him. Azura had given him a new purpose, becoming his new dream. Losing her wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but her death was one tragedy too many for his sensitive heart. What was the purpose of loving if every time he found happiness, it was ripped away from his hands? 

Inigo fell to his knees in the snow, crying softly. “But they deserve better than a grieving father who can barely look at them anymore.  _ Gods, _ Shigure is only a toddler and he already looks so much like you. Too much, to the point that every time I look at him, I feel like you’re staring straight through me.” Was this how Chrom had felt when he lost Robin whenever he looked at Morgan, who looked so much like the other part of his soul? But Robin had returned, and Azura remained lost to him, her sacrifice unknown to all. 

Inigo took a deep breath, and dried his tears. The time for crying was over. “I’ve made my peace with this world. I said my goodbyes to my friends, and honored my promise to return. They’re in good hands, and I long to be in yours again.” 

He’d thought about it long and hard, and Owain’s hand on his shoulder had almost been enough to make him stay. But Inigo felt heavy, his every breath a labor. He had denied the feeling of not belonging in this world for far too long, and that time was over now. He should have died a long time ago, back in his own timeline, or while fighting side by side with his wife.

But he did know that he was certain, more assured than he’d felt in a long time. 

“So, baby, please...” Inigo kneeled in the snow, tracing his childrens’ names next to Azura’s. He closed his eyes, picturing their faces in his mind. If his last thought was of them, he would die with a smile on his face.

Inigo took a deep breath, and invoked the curse with a whisper so soft, the wind almost took it away. “Open your arms for me one last time. Take me to Valla with you, one… last... time...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... and nobody saw it coming. Which was to be expected, but still.
> 
> And thus ends Arc One: Summer in Hoshido! Thank you all for reading, commenting and supporting this story! This chapter was a monster to write, but I do think we did well. A big shout-out to my beta, Abby, who tackled this 10K monster in no-time. 
> 
> Arc Two (Autumn in Nohr) will have a new POV character, and I've only told one person - other than my beta - who it will be. We are fairly certain nobody else will guess who will provide a unique view on the world of fates in the next arc, and therefor the first person who guesses it correctly will receive a small requested drabble from me. We're that confident. 
> 
> Once again, thank you for your support, and I hope to see you somewhere next week for chapter 11! In a few days, I'll put a master history post up on my tumblr blog, so if you're interested in some historical background for this fic, keep an eye on that.


	11. The Year of the Lotus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowers bloom on the first day of the new year, and maybe something else as well.

> **_Xander_ **

 

Traditionally, the first day of the Nohrian New Year was spent cleaning the house. In a way, Xander was doing just that.

“Jacob, could you please lock the door behind you?” The butler bowed politely as soon as the entire investigation committee had entered the room. Xander was convinced that the breach of security during the ball had been a warning, and before the night had ended, he had assembled a small group of people to ensure that the situation would be resolved as quickly and quietly as possible. A week had passed since then, but their progress had been disappointing so far.

Silas looked chipper despite the early hour, already as fully armored as Xander was himself. Kaze, standing beside him, looked as calm as always, and Xander had to wonder if the man ever slept at all, or just meditated all night. Kamui stifled a yawn, perfectly dressed, but she was never a morning person, no matter how many early mornings he invited her to. Her butler was much the same, although Xander had to admit that the time of day didn’t really matter to the man: whenever Kamui was not around, he was in a perpetual morning mood. 

He gestured at them all to take place on the couches in his sofa while he settled himself down behind his desk.  “Thank you all for coming. We all have other engagements today, so I’m afraid I’ll have to keep it short.”

He searched for the report he had received yesterday morning. “My former head steward has informed me that the morale amongst the servants has been abysmal after we discovered that several member of the staff had been murdered. Or should I say, former head steward. He handed in his resignation letter along with the report.” 

Whether it was out of shame for letting such an event come to pass during one of the most important events of the year, or out of fear of his own life, Xander could not tell. The man had been in charge ever since he was a little boy, and he was sad to let him go. However, it wasn’t very hard to find a proper candidate to fill the vacancy, and so he turned to Kamui’s butler.  “Which is why I’ve asked Jakob here to join us, as I’ve promoted him to head steward of Castle Krakenburg.”

Silas patted him roughly on the back, loudly congratulating him on his promotion. Jakob seemed less than pleased with the attention, and gave his report instead of accepting the compliment. “I have already assessed the situation, and it is as you say, milord. The maids are skittish, and the butlers are ready to flee, rather than find the culprit. To think that we were at war only one year ago, and they have already lost their sense of loyalty.  _ Despicable _ .” He spat out that last word venomously, and Xander knew he had made the right decision.

“I trust that you will amend the situation within the month,” he ordered before turning to the next member of the investigation committee. “And how is the situation with the knights, Silas?”

The knight saluted him. “The moralis low, sir. Men are accusing each other of sleeping on the job and letting an assassin in. Until the culprit has been found, I believe they won’t be the harmonious group we need them to be order to properly defend the castle.”

Xander contemplated the situation for a moment. In the past, he had sent Laslow down to the guard halls. With his contagious smile and smooth words, he could always rally the troops into shape within mere hours. But Laslow was god knows where, and while Peri was a cunning warrior, she didn’t have the charisma to fulfill Laslow’s role. “Would hiring more guards improve the situation?”

“Perhaps, but you won’t find many people willing to take up arms, and I’m not sure sure if it’s the signal we should be sending towards the people. You promised an era of peace, and a recruitment call doesn’t exactly do justice to those words in the eyes of your subjects,” Silas said, his voice grave and his brow furrowed. 

“I see,” Xander said, but mentally crossed the option off the list. A king should never go back on his promises.

Silas hesitated for a second, before adding, “It doesn’t help that Primrose, one of the murdered maids, was the only daughter of the castle guard commander. He hasn’t shown up at his post ever since, milord.”

Xander swallowed deeply, remembering his own sorrow after they defeated the shell of his father. “Even in the face of tragedy, we must all do our duty. Implore him to pick up some of his duties once more, or seek a replacement. I leave the issue in your hands, Silas.”

“It shall be done,” Silas said firmly, saluting him once more. Kamui had chosen her retainers well, and he was grateful that she allowed him to make use of them while he was short of one.

He turned to her, and noticed that she immediately averted her eyes as if he had caught her staring. “And what about the investigation, Kamui? Has Camilla found anything of use yet?”

She sighed deeply. “Camilla and Beruka are conducting an interrogation on some minor nobles as we speak, but so far, all our efforts have proven unsuccessful. The two maids that were found in the guestroom in the Northern Wing were in perfect shape, not a mark on their bodies. But the autopsy shows that they were roughly cut up with a knife, or so Beruka reports.” 

Officially, the four victims that had been found had been met with an ‘unfortunate accident,’ but servants were notorious gossips, especially when their own were being threatened, and before long, all their masters knew of what really occurred as well. Leo’s information network reported that the incident had been dubbed  _ the bloodless murders _ on the streets. 

If they had caught the culprit that same night, the murders would have most likely blown over. But they hadn’t been able to do so before the rest of the guests left for home, eager to spread the news. Since then, even the brightest minds of the country remained puzzled over how or why anyone would kill a few innocent maids in such a strange, cruel manner. Queen Hinoka had been calm about the situation, lending him a few of her men to aid the investigation before the Hoshidan delegation returned to their homeland. It was a sign of good will, no doubt, but it did show to the rest of the court that he could not handle the situation on his own. The court itself, always eager to gossip, was perhaps the worst part of this entire fiasco. 

_ “This never happened under King Garon’s rule,” _ an ancient widowed countess had the nerve to tell Camilla during her salon. His sister had answered with the same sugary sweet malice that she used whenever anyone spoke against Xander’s rule: and told her that since she’d never dared to open her mouth like that during her father’s reign, she shouldn’t start now. Before the countess could recover, Camilla politely offered her another cup of tea and the cr ow had shut up after that. But the damage had been done; people openly dared to doubt his rule. Xander wondered if this had been the motive behind the murder, to create unrest and destroy the unprecedented unity of the Nohrian court, reducing them to the scorpion pit from the old days. It was not a pleasant thought, and Xander immediately put it out of his mind. 

“During the war I’ve seen many ways a man could die, but never something like this. Are  you familiar with this method, Kaze?”

“I am not. Ninjas use poisons and knives, and our assassinations are often covert. But I’ve seen the autopsy report, and I can safely say that I’ve never seen anything like it. The way the organs were damaged suggests the work of a madman, and yet the outside the work of a careful assassin,” Kaze intoned quietly, not a single muscle in his face revealing his true thoughts on the matter. “The only thing I can think of is that the culprit used a dark magic that healed the victim minutes before they succumbed to their wounds. Though the question remains why anyone would do that...”

“Thank you, Kaze,” Xander said while he jotted the information down on parchment. “I’ll have Leo test your theory and take a look at the magical residue on the corpse as soon as he returns from Macarath. Please continue aiding my sisters in any way you can.”

Kaze bowed like a Hoshidan servant, deep and quick. Some things never changed, Xander supposed. He wrote down his last few thoughts on the matter on the report, and handed it to Kamui. “I will leave you in charge of the investigation in my absence.”

Kamui nodded, a determined expression in her eyes. For a moment, he was back in the ballroom, twirling around with his heart in his arms, watching her smile in delight. Her cheeks had been dusted with the same shade of pink that night, but he banished the thought before he became too distracted.

The other committee members seemed to accept his tone of dismissal, but Silas seemed doubtful. Xander nodded at him, encouraging him to speak his mind. “With all due respect, your grace, would it be wise for you to leave at such a crucial time? For all we know, the killer might make an attempt on your life.”

A wry laugh escaped Xander’s mouth before he could stop it. “Then I’d like to see him try. You’ll find me a hard man to strike down, even after my duties as king forced me to neglect my training. Besides, Peri will be coming with me. I trust her implicitly with my personal protection,” he added, the smile still ghosting over his face. Siegfried was firmly strapped to his hip once more for the journey, and Xander hadn’t felt this much like himself ever since the crown had been placed upon his head. 

The others did not share his amusement, and so he continued with a sterner tone. “It’s imperative that I act as if nothing has changed, or my vassals will try to take advantage of the crown’s weakness. I already have several lesser nobles begging for an audience, ones who didn’t dare to show their face at court before, but are now standing in line to demand all kinds of rights from me.” 

But those opportunistic nobles weren’t the most troubling part. The leader of the Ice Tribe still refused open trade with the rest of Nohr, and the newly appointed Duke Sorrell of Cheve rarely replied to any of his summons, and when he did, it was always with cold refusal to negotiate. His ambassadors told him the people were starving in the streets, and still, the duke would not negotiate state-funded food supplies. It was a good start of the new year, Xander thought to himself.  

“If you say so, milord,” Silas relented with a bow.

“Thank you all for your continued efforts. If the situation changes, I wish to be reported of it immediately,” Xander thanked the rest of his committee. “You are dismissed.”

Everyone but Kamui bowed to him and left the room one by one, and she remained seated despite the inquiries of her butler. “Xander, if I may have a word with you. Alone.”

Xander nodded, and closed the door once more, leaving only the two of them in the room. 

Now that he looked at her, he noticed that her hair was less kept than before, and while her skin looked healthy, there was something off about the look in her eyes. “What’s wrong, Kamui? You’ve been acting a bit strange lately.”

“Strange? How so?” Kamui asked, eyes wide with surprise. 

Xander sat down next to her instead of staying behind his desk. “You’ve failed to eat a full meal ever since Winter Solstice. Does it bother you so much that you can no longer eat?”

Kamui avoided his gaze expertly. “N-no! My mind just has been occupied with my duties.” 

She certainly looked the part, Xander had to admit. From up close, he could see several missed nights of sleep etched into her skin, leaving dark circles underneath her eyes. “If you want me to hand the investigation to Camilla, you only have to say the word,” he offered to her kindly, his hand ghosting over hers. She immediately pulled it away as if burned. “Despite your fortitude as a warrior, you’ve only been a part of this court for a short time. It takes a different kind of strength. You have a talent for it, but it takes time to develop.”

“I-I know,” Kamui stuttered. Xander sighed and offered her a glass of water, which she accepted and drank quickly like a parched desert dweller. Xander chuckled to himself and handed her some leftovers of his breakfast. How the tables had turned on them. 

“Where are you going today?” Kamui said between the bites.

Xander took out a small map from his satchel, and pointed out a place called Treebeek. “To a coal mine not far from Windmire. There’s a woman there who has said to have developed some kind of machine that harnesses the power of steam to aid the workers. I found it hard to believe at first, but they’ve tripled their production since she was hired, so it’s worth a look. This might just be what Nohr needs.”

Kamui looked at him with interest, and he almost regretted not delegating the task to her. “Sounds promising. When will you be back?”

“Within the moon, as I’ve promised Elise. She wishes to see me before she travels to Hoshido together with Camilla,” he explained. 

Kamui’s smile fell from her face at the mention of her birthland, but they unanimously decided that after last year’s fiasco, Leo and Kamui would be sent on different missions far away from Hoshido. Elise seemed eager to see Sakura again, and Camilla and Queen Hinoka got along fairly well, so Xander had no doubts that their short diplomatic visit would go splendidly. 

Kamui had agreed, but she that didn’t mean she liked it. Quickly, Xander tried to change the subject. “How fares your other mission?”

That did the trick. “I-I haven’t found a good candidate yet...” Kamui sputtered out, her eyes on her hands. “It’d be easier if you would give me a few more hints to go on, Xander.”

Xander sighed. “I have complete faith in your matchmaking abilities. Didn’t you have a hand in facilitating most of the marriages within your army during the war?” Kamui muttered something under her breath that Xander did not quite catch, but she didn’t deny his words. 

He looked at the time, and saw that he was already late. “Now, I must be off. I’ve officially named you my regent in my absence. Please handle any situation as you see fit.”

Kamui frowned deeply. “Shouldn’t you have named Camilla?”

“I did. She refused most adamantly.” Adamantly really didn’t describe the way she had laughed in his face and told him that she would accidentally burn down the kingdom before he had left the city. Camilla hadn’t even allowed him to finish talking, just packed up what she had been doing and left the room with Beruka hot on her heels. When he finally cornered her again that night, she all but ordered him to pick Leo or Kamui instead. With very little time left to argue with her, Xander did just that. “I don’t know why she has this idea in her mind that she would be a bad ruler, but no matter what I say, I can’t seem to talk her out of it.” 

Kamui brushed her hair back, her hand ghosting over her eye in the same place where Camilla hid a scar behind her bangs. “I’ll see what I can do than. She always loosens up after a warm bath.”

Xander nodded, and helped Kamui to her feet. After many months, she still wasn’t used to heeled shoes. “See you soon, my little princess.”

Kamui seemed to hesitate for a moment and then pulled him down by his cape to her level, stood on the top of her toes and pressed a quick peck on his cheek. “S-safe travels!” she quickly stuttered, and ran off like a woman possessed.

Xander nearly dropped his bag on the floor as he watched her go. The skin her lips had touched burned, but not as bright as his cheeks. 

_ Something had changed since the ball. _

 

> **_Flora_ **

 

The undergrowth cracked under Flora’s feet with every step and sent shivers down her spine. “Not to question your judgement, milord,” Flora finally dared to ask after walking what seemed like hours through barely visible trails. “But why are we here in the Woods of Forlorn? This is hardly the fastest or least dangerous road to Krakenburg.”

Leo looked at her strangely for a second as if he needed to remind himself that she hadn’t been his retainer for long time.“This is the shortest way.” 

“With all due respect sir, I think we’ve passed this particular acid puddle a six times already. I think we’re lost,” Flora told him honestly, sincerely hoping that the acid could be washed out of her clothing. Highborns were always apt to forget those little things about adventuring. If any of them knew how much time it took to wash out a stain like this, they would never set another foot inside this toxic forest ever again.

Leo smirked broadly. “I was raised in these woods, so I know them better than the back of my hand,” he explained. He traced a gentle finger down the bark of a sick, dark pine tree. To Flora’s surprise, tree seemed to feed from her liege, its bark becoming livelier with every second.

Next to her, Niles didn’t seem to think anything was amiss, but she could see that he was curious too. Their lord rolled his eyes, and explained dryly, “After an attempt on my life was made as a child, Father decided to shelter me away from court for a few months in one of his former vacation homes in this very forest. I had caregivers, and every other week, Iago would oversee my training as a dark mage, but they weren’t like my siblings at Krakenburg, so I got very lonely. After a while, I snuck out at night and played with the trees.”

“With the trees?” It was hard for Flora to keep the disbelief out her voice. 

Leo nodded, his hand ghosting over his sacred tome. “I was chosen by Brynhildr that year - the first of my family in eight generations -  which was exactly why many of my father’s other concubines would’ve rather seen me dead than alive.” A dark look passed over Leo’s face. “My father was so proud of me that day, I still remember the way he smiled when the tome awakened to my touch, accepting me as its wielder. It was nothing like… nothing like he was at the end.”

Niles and Flora remained very quiet, sharing a short look in the dark of Nohr’s eternal night.

Leo cleared his throat. “Regardless of father’s good intentions, these woods were no place for a young child. Bending the trees at night with magic was my favorite past time, other than reading. Iago was furious when he found me out one day, though. He was every bit a cruel teacher as he was as an advisor to my father. I dislike taking lives, but I will readily admit that killing him personally still fills me with warm feelings till this day.” 

He smiled cruelly, and the tree trunk glowed under his fingers, branches rapidly growing until he hastily retracted his hand, panting. “Sorry for that, this place almost makes me nostalgic,” Leo apologized with his usual clipped tones, dusting off himself and pretending the surge of magic hadn’t drained him out. Flora and Niles shared a look and followed him down the path at a polite distance, but ready to surge forward at any moment to catch their lord if needed. “After father’s death, I inherited the villa hidden in these woods. Nobody else wanted to have it, but I’ve been using it as my little personal hideaway ever since.”

And as if by magic, behind the next turn, their shallow trail gave way to a small clearing  on  which bordered a large moss covered wall, and an enormous looming gate. Leo opened the heavy iron door with the flick of his wrist, and as it creaked in its hinges, Flora caught a glimpse of the decrepit mansion hidden behind it.

It was no wonder that nobody else wanted the property because it seemed ready to fall apart at the foundations. Trees had grown into the crumbling brick walls, and the once beautiful fountain was bubbling with the same acid that sustained the rest of the forest. Neither of her companions shared her reluctance, so Flora was forced to follow Leo inside.

The door gave way to a dusty hallway, decorated with furniture that probably hadn’t been moved since Leo was a child.

“This place could use some cleaning,” she muttered to herself. 

“Good thing we brought a maid.” Niles picked up a spider from the nearest web and dangled it in front of her.

Flora raised a single eyebrow. She’d nearly singlehandedly kept the living quarters of the Northern Fortress clean since she was a teen. She’d seen more spiders than he could possibly imagine. 

Leo raised his hand at the two of them before he could swing the spider into Flora’s hair. “Niles, stop antagonizing Flora before I make you scrub the floor.”

“On my knees?” Niles drawled out, his hand on his hips. “How daring of you, milord.”

“ _ Niles, _ ” their lord growled, and like water the lecherous smile fell of his face.

“Of course, Lord Leo.” He bowed, his voice polite.

There was a strange tension between them, and frankly, Flora was too tired to deal with it. “It is no trouble, milord. I’d be glad to clean the place up somewhat. Truth  be told, it could use some repairs.” All wooden surfaces seemed well taken care of, but the stone floor was cracked, and Flora didn’t even want to think about the state of the linen and piping.

Leo looked vaguely embarrassed for a moment. “Nobody but me comes here anymore, but I like it the way it is,” he said a bit too quickly. “We won’t be staying long. I merely wish to see how my research is faring, take a hot bath, and sleep a night in a comfortable bed, and then we’ll be off in the morning before Xander thinks I’ve run off. Again.”

Flora sighed, and retrieved a cleaning rag out of her bag. “I’ll ready the bath, then.”

Niles added that he was going to forage for some food, though Flora sincerely doubted that any produce from this toxic earth could be eaten safely. She curtsied at her lord, and set to work. The upper floor was in a decidedly better state than the lower one, and she could tell from the state of repair of the wooden doors which ones were in use and which ones were better left closed. The master bedroom was dusty, but aside from the creaking floorboards, the mansion was in a relatively good state of repair. 

Flora quickly swept the floor with a broom that was probably four times her age. Leo was right, with every passing second, the old house was growing on her. Once the candles were lit and a blazing fire roared in the fireplace, the mansion breathed an ancient sense of cozy comfort. In spite of the season, potted plants bloomed prettily in every corner of the rooms, often placed on stacks of messily piled books. 

It truly was Leo’s home away from home, though that didn’t mean that some maintenance wasn’t long overdue. Unsurprisingly, the water pipelines weren’t just clogged from disuse; they were completely defunct. Flora quickly cleaned the bathtub with what little water she had on her and retrieved two buckets and set to the kitchen, hoping to find a working faucet there.

But before she could reach the kitchen, she passed through the solarium. The doors were open, and the lanterns were lit, giving her a perfect view of a small, crystal clear pond with beautiful flowers floating on the surface.

Flora dropped the iron buckets with a loud clang, her eyes wide in shock. Clean water like this didn’t exist in Nohr, especially not in the middle of a forest as toxic as the Woods of Forlorn. “What is….?”

Lord Leo appeared next to her seemingly out of nowhere, sweat on his brow but an accomplished smile adorning his lips. “Wonderful, isn’t it? I’ve had my suspicions for a while now, especially after the ash of this flower absorbed all the alcohol out of the wine I poured over it. It left a tasteless fluid behind,” he said as if that explained everything, beckoning her to follow him into the garden. Upon closer inspection, the water was an even more ethereal blue than it looked from far away. 

Leo seemed pleased by her surprise, and kneeled down next to the pond, his hand carefully brushing over the round leaves floating on the water. “Kamui travels back and forth to the land underneath the lake every now and then for me, taking these flowers back with her whenever she does. She can travel to it through any large body of water with the song, but I haven’t found a way to join her yet.” Leo moved his lantern, illuminating the gloriously pink flowers with a gentle glow, and Flora instantly recognized them as the same ones Leo had gifted her by the lake that dreadful day she thought Lady Kamui had drowned. She still had it, the petals were pressed between two books in her private chamber. 

“But this water, it’s completely clear,” Flora repeated the thought aloud.

“Go ahead, you can drink it. Like I expected, the flower itself has a purifying gift. They’re tough to grow, and even harder to reproduce with magic, but once I accomplished that, these beauties turned this acidic pond into clear water,” he said proudly. A childlike joy lit up his features.

Flora remembered all those thirsty nights when they had to ration the clean water at the Fortress because their well had been poisoned, and they had to dig a new one. Nohr was a harsh place to live, but if these few, mysterious flowers could do this, then… “This…. this could save Nohr,” Flora murmured while she lowered her hands into the water. It was icy cold, just the way she liked it. 

“Eventually, maybe. It will take years before I can grow enough flowers to cover every body of water in Nohr, and I still to find a way to use it to purify the earth. But I’m certain that I’ll find a way as long as I keep trying.” His words were careful, but his tone betrayed his own enthusiasm. Flora was surprised he had hidden it as long as he had.

“Does the king know about this?”

Leo shook his head. “No,  he doesn’t and I would appreciate it if it would remain that way for now.  Kamui and I still to find a way to explain where the flower comes from, and he knows me too well to accept a lie from me. Besides…” he trailed off, one hand on Brynhildr and the other on top of a green flower bud. His hand radiated purple energy until the petals opened to reveal a delicate pink flower. As soon as the glow faded, he staggered back, and Flora immediately placed her hands on his shoulder to stabilize him. “I’ve hardly tested it enough yet. It took me all of autumn to purify one pond, and I don’t know what the effect is once the plant withers. There’s no use in getting his hopes up for now,” Leo whispered with a small smile while he recomposed himself, his breathing short and his face a shade too pale.

“My lips are sealed, milord,” Flora promised, handing him a vulnerary she kept for moments like these. “Have you named the flower?”

Leo grumbled but drank the liquid anyway, shaking his head. “Odin used to tell me that I don’t have the proper temperament to name things. Niles’s suggestions have been very …  _ exceptional....  _ so far. So the flower remains unnamed.” He looked at her intently for a moment, and Flora averted her eyes before he could look right into her soul too. When her liege spoke again, it was with an amused tone. “You have a fondness for flowers, don’t you? Why don’t you give it a shot?”

Flora had thought about it before at night when she admired the carefully pressed flower in the privacy of her own rooms. She had never been able to think of a proper name, but now it seemed obvious. “The Ice Tribe has a sacred treasure that predates even our oldest structures. It’s a golden pendant with a crystal flower inlaid the centre. Our oldest stories say that it has the ability to purify any mind of corrupting influences. We call it the Sacred Lotus Flower,” Flora recalled, remembering the way the crystal would shine on a rare sunny day. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen it, but now that I look at this flower, I’m certain that it’s almost exactly the same.”

“Lotus. Short but sweet,” Leo murmured under his breath, but the furrow of his brow betrayed that his mind worked in a completely different direction. After a short moment of quiet, he turned to her with a strange smile on his lips. “Odin would have chided me for not calling it something ludicrous like  _ Nelumbo Nucifera,  _ but I prefer your suggestion. I’ll talk it over with Kamui, and she what she thinks of it.” 

“You honor me, milord.”

Flora filled her buckets with water, still struck by its purity. At night, when Niles and Leo were asleep, she’d perhaps bathe in the icy liquid like she used to do in the Ice Tribe.

Before she could return to the mansion, Leo called her out. “Oh, Flora?” His eyes never left his reflection in the water. “Next time we visit the Ice Tribe, I’d like to see that pendant. Is there a way you can arrange that with your father?”

Flora gulped, her voice stiff. “I’m certain that my father would never decline a request from a prince of Nohr, milord.”

“I am not blind, Flora. And you know very well that that wasn’t my question.” Leo sighed, and his voice was softer than usual. Flora stood as if she were struck by lightning, unable to reply. 

When it became clear she wouldn’t answer him properly, he waved her off with her hand. “Whenever you’re ready, we shall go and see it. There might be connection to all of this….” His last words trailed off into the wind rattling through the leaves of the forest, his mind probably already miles ahead of her.

“T-thank you milord. Your bath will be ready within the hour, please don’t remain outside much longer. It’s freezing,” Flora stuttered before curtsying. When she made her way back inside, she tried to keep her pace slow and willed her heartbeat down. It wasn’t like she was fleeing, after all. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM READY FOR ALL THE MARX JOKES. SEND THEM TO ME.
> 
> Ahem, other than that: some world building and character development. I hope you guys liked the mansion! Camilla at some point mentions that there is a mansion within the forest, and I just imagined that nobody but Leo would ever dare to come there unless they actually had to, and so this magical haunted house away from the city was created. You'll see more of the place in the future.
> 
> Nobody so far guessed who is going to be the new POV character. This character will make their first appearance next chapter...


	12. Food for Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're all hungry for something we can't have, right?

> **_Kamui_ **

 

A chuckle escaped Kamui’s lips before she could hide it behind her hand.

Nyx put her cup of coffee down and lifted a single eyebrow. “What’s so funny, child?”

“Us,” Kamui confessed, making a wide motion at the room around her. It had been a gift from Xander, who insisted that every royal scion needed a place to receive guests. While it had been tolerable to receive guests in her bedroom during the war, it was scarcely becoming for a young woman during peacetime. Her solar was an old private library, made comfortable with dark purple couches and a small table inlaid with a Chevois-style mosaic. Unlike Xander, she had no painting of her mother to hang on the mantlepiece, so she filled the space with an old painting of her Nohrian siblings, painted when Elise was barely out of her diapers. Kamui felt their smiling, puerile gazes look down on her, and she averted her eyes.

“I fail to see any reason for it to amuse you,” Nyx said with a more cutting tone than usual, shifting her toddler from one arm to another. 

Dwyer didn’t even wake up, content to sleep in his mother’s arms. “You once told me that you wished to avoid attachments within our army,” Kamui stated, her eyes decidedly fixed on the child in Nyx’s arms.

Her companion sighed. “I still do. I’ve loved and lost during my long lifetime, and mostly because of my own mistakes. I was – still am – Nyx the Nefarious, a name that is well-deserved, I assure you.” She spoke with a bit of dramatic flare that reminded Kamui of Odin, though if the stories were any indication, Nyx actually had reason to speak in such ways. The eternally young witch eyed her with a small, but chiding smile.  “Associating with me is a terrible idea for any aspiring politician, and the same goes to anyone else who wishes to live a long and healthy life.”

Kamui shrugged. “And yet here you are, drinking coffee with me while cradling your son in your arms. For all your words, I’ve never seen you take off your wedding ring since Jakob put it on you.” 

“Despite my many years, I still have my weaknesses. I never should have accepted Jakob’s proposal, nor should I have born him this child. All the happiness I feel now will one day turn to sorrow once they both age past me.” Her voice was stern, but her eyes were soft and kind.  _ Some people utterly refuse to see the good in themselves, _ Kamui mused to herself. “But this war has made me realize that it is better to love something once and lose it than never to have known it at all.”

“Do you have so little faith that your curse will break?”

Nyx scoffed at her with a bitter smile on her lips. “Child, I am over three hundred years old. Hope is for people young people like you. Old ladies like me prefer to deal in realities.” Then something changed in her eyes, and she softly added: “You will understand what I mean soon enough, if my prophecies tell me anything.”

Kamui sat up straighter in her chair, eyes wide. “What have you seen?”

Her companion opened and closed her lips a few times, before sighing deeply. It didn’t exactly help to ease Kamui’s worries.

“You like to change your fate too much for them to be reliable, anyway. Don’t worry about it for now,” Nyx said dismissively after a short pause. “I hardly believe you asked me to have coffee with you just to consult me as a soothsayer.”

“No, you’re right. That’s not why I asked you to join me today.” Kamui surrendered when it was clear Nyx wasn’t going to loosen her lips. This was not about her. “I have some questions, but nobody in living memory has any answers for me. I hoped that you could shed some light on them.”

For a second Nyx seemed mildly insulted at being called old, which Kamui found incredibly strange since she was always so picky about being confused for a child. “You’ve piqued my interest. Speak, child.”

“Have you ever heard of a land out of this realm?”

Nyx’s brow furrowed deeply. “Is this about Selena, Laslow and Odin?”

“Maybe. It might be related, but we’re not sure yet.” The fact that it was the first thing that came to her mind sure made it more likely though. 

Her companion took another deep sip of her coffee. “To answer your question, yes, I’ve heard of them. It would be ignorant to assume that our plane of existence is the only one. For instance, there is the plane of the dead, where the fortunate depart after their time is up. And during the days of old, it was said that people travelled to different worlds through the old Dragon’s Gate,” she recounted with an odd smile on her face. 

They had visited the old Dragon’s Gate once on passing. It was an eerie place, full of decay and creatures that were not quite of this world. The golden gates that hid a world unknown to all had remained closed for only the gods knew how long, and they always remained that way. Kamui never stayed long. 

Kamui looked over her shoulder. Jakob had left them alone to discuss private issues, and Kaze was off to aid Camilla with the investigation. They were alone, and still the words she wished to speak were best delivered in a whisper. “Do you know something about a land underneath a lake?”

Nyx ticked her long nails against the glass mosaic of the table, taking her time to recall her many years. 

“I’ve certainly never been to one before, but I did once meet a woman who would disappear every now and then into a lake, only to return with wares of enormous magical property,” she recounted with a voice as soft as Kamui’s.  _ The tone of conspirators _ , her mind supplied darkly. “I always assumed that she used a teleportation spell, since nobody seemed to be able to follow her. She said it only took a leap of faith to travel to her land, but would never say quite where she came from. Nobody really believed her, since she was quite the haggler and probably would have done anything to make her wares worth more, including making up that story.”

Leo had originally thought there was a teleportation spell at the bottom of the lake as well that was activated by Azura’s chant. But after they had tried to pass through the water from Nohr, that theory had been shattered. The water itself was a gateway; as long as it was deep enough to cover her body entirely, Kamui could use it to travel back and forth. 

Their experiments were confined to dark hours at night when the castle was asleep and illusions took their places. In between her own duties and Leo’s extended missions into the countryside, they hadn’t really gotten far.

But to hear that Azura and Kamui had not been the first brought back some of the hope she had long thought lost. “Where is she now?”

Nyx chuckled dryly. “In her grave, I presume. The last time I heard her name was when I was still young myself, almost three-hundred years ago.

“What was her name?”

“Anna, if I recall correctly. She had a lot of nearly identical sisters too, all named the same.” The name sounded eerily familiar, but no face came to mind. “Is there any reason why we should put stock in her story now?”

Kamui didn’t hesitate, despite their vow to keep the knowledge to herself. “There is a land beneath a lake. Any lake, really, but so far only Azura and I have been able to go there.”

“And you’re certain it wasn’t an illusion?” asked Nyx skeptically. In her arms, Dwyer stirred slightly.

She nodded. “Positive. I’ve been there many times now, and taken back plants and writings.” To prove her point, Kamui retrieved an old book from one of her many shelves. The old library had been filled with dusty tomes, and she hadn’t really taken the time yet to make the room her own yet. As dusty as they were, the books at least served their purpose well as a place to preserve her pressed flowers. 

She showed one to Nyx, who carefully twirled the pressed flower between her fingers with an odd look of wonder on her face. Kamui supposed that at her age, she didn’t often see new things. 

“But there seems no trace of it in this world, and Azura seemed unable to tell me more about it. As a matter of fact, every time I speak of the land, I start feeling a little faint.” And true to her word, she noticed the slight onset of pressure behind her eyes, her hand trembling ever so slightly. It happened to both her and Leo without fail whenever they discussed what they had learned, through the pain always faded as soon as she entered the land beneath the lake.

Nyx put her hand on Kamui’s. “Let me feel your aura for a bit,” she said, closing her eyes and humming an odd tune. When she opened them again, she looked concerned. “As I thought, a curse. The knowledge of this land is most likely cursed, though taboo spells are tricky to make truly waterproof.”

“What does that mean?”  

“It means that you should be careful about every word you speak about the land you found. Your ignorance has most likely saved you so far. Curses often involve conscious invocation, and it would be impossible for a person who doesn’t know what they’re speaking about to unknowingly invoke the curse. But once you delve into the specifics of the taboo, the higher the price you will pay,” Nyx explained carefully while Kamui felt her own forehead. Now that they were aware of the effects, the pain seemed so much more throbbing to Kamui than before.

“That explains Azura’s silence..,” Kamui muttered to herself. Perhaps even her song was part of the taboo curse, for whenever she sang it too often, her stride lost some of its purpose, her every step wavering. Laslow had once asked her if she could stop Azura from performing during her pregnancy, which Kamui had declined because the request made no sense to her. In retrospect…

Kamui gulped, remembering the translucent quality of Azura’s skin, and the way she had lost her breath in the middle of a sentence by the end of the war. “What could the price entail?”

The light of the chandelier cast a dark shadow over Nyx’s eyes. “Every uttered syllable might cost you a year of your life if the caster is malevolent and powerful enough. A powerful sorcerer might even take your life energy upon the mention of a single word.”

“I have to speak to Leo, immediately!” Kamui jumped to her feet, her mind already at the door. What if he was dead now, thanks to her recklessness? She had already lost too many brothers...

Nyx sighed, suddenly sounding as old as she truly was. With a surprising amount of strength for her little frame, she tugged at Kamui’s hand until she complied. “Sit down, child. Next time you visit the land, please take me with you so I can observe the magical residue,” she said exasperatedly. “Taboo curses are the darkest of magic. They cost tremendous amounts of power and skill to cast. I’ve only cast one once in my life, and it cost the lives of everyone who stood within sight of me. It cursed me to what I have become today. My point is that nobody puts such a curse on anything if there isn’t anything worth hiding.”

Kamui’s heart was still racing in her chest, but she forced herself to continue. Leo was safe, probably. He was too smart to get himself killed just like that.

Then, an idea came to her. “Would the curse be triggered if I wrote down what I’ve found?”

“Depends per taboo curse, but I would advise you to be rather safe rather than sorry. Whatever you find, don’t speak of it unless you are within eyesight of the caster, or be extremely vague about it to avoid accidentally invoking the curse upon yourself. This goes doubly for names, as they are the most direct subject of a taboo curse,” Nyx advised, rubbing circles on her temple with her index finger. Even Dwyer seemed uncharacteristically fitful for such a quiet baby, cooing unhappily in his sleep in his mother’s embrace. Nyx rocked him gently, her voice soft. “We should stop speaking of the these things. I can feel myself getting faint as well, and while I don’t mind losing a few years of my lifespan, I doubt we should be tempting fate.”

Kamui nodded, but was unable to hide her disappointment until she suddenly had a thought. “Then perhaps we should talk about fairy tales instead.”

Nyx looked at her strangely until she retrieved the ancient leather book Leo had gifted her last autumn from her shelf. The pages were yellowed with age, and the language was archaic, but they were still readable enough. Kamui leafed through it until she found an old watercolor print of a lady emerging from a crystalline lake. The title page next to it read the word  _ Avalon _ .

Nyx quickly scanned over the following pages, taking in the words and illustrations with a curious smile on her face. “There are always ways to get around a curse,” she muttered to herself, and Kamui nodded. ‘ _ There often is truth within fiction, _ ’ Leo had said when he gifted the book. The only question was how much was fantasy, and how much was real.

Kamui pushed the book into her friend’s hands. “Perhaps you should read these stories to Dwyer before going to bed, and let me know what you can make of them.”

“Thank you for your gift, milady. I’m certain he will enjoy it greatly,” Nyx countered perfectly with only the small devious smile betraying her amusement at their little game. “But enough about my child. We’ll certainly speak of him enough once you have your own by the end of the next year.”

Kamui’s eyes went wide and lost her grip on the cup of coffee she was holding. It fell to the ground, shattering into a thousand little pieces. “W-what?” she stuttered, her hand going to her flat stomach immediately.

Nyx cackled without restraint to the point where she woke up her own son, tears of laughter at the corners of her eyes. When she reigned herself in again, Kamui had already called for a maid to clean up the stain.

“My apologies. Most young women seem to delight in that sort of knowledge,” Nyx apologized unashamedly. 

The furious blush on Kamui’s cheeks did not waver. “Do you know… who the father is?” she asked, careful to keep her eyes on the ground.

“Even if my visions were that clear, I wouldn’t tell you. Such knowledge tends to change the future in the worst of ways, if my experience is anything to go by,” Nyx told her sagely, rocking her child back to sleep. “What would happen if I named another man that isn't the one that making you blush like this? Nobody makes that choice but you, child. You, better than anyone else, should know how one's fate is determined by their choices. You’ve followed your heart before, and it led you to peace. Who says it won’t happen again?”

Kamui laughed ruefully. “Follow my heart?” she said sarcastically, feeling it beat furiously against her the bodice of her dress, demanding to be heard. “You’re more of a romantic than I thought you to be.”

“Old age tends to make one sentimental,” Nyx countered with a knowing smile. 

Vaguely, Kamui remembered a book Kaze had shared with her, belonging to the sorceress.

“But sometimes it’s the best thing to do, even if it leads to pain later on. To have loved once is better than to have never known love at all, I’ve come to see,” Nyx added, sounding suspiciously like the protagonist of that particular book. 

Truth or fiction, her words rang true in Kamui’s ears. She kept her gaze as far away from Nyx as she could, staring vacantly into the distance. “… Even if it is wrong? Shameful?” she said softly, giving voice to a small song that had been singing ever since… since when, really? Had it always been there, and had she just ignored it like so many other things in her life? Or had it crept in slowly, constricting around her heart like vines, making her blush every time she remembered the way his arms had lifted her into the air to the rhythm of the waltz.

“When feelings are returned, love is rarely something to be ashamed of,” Nyx said gently, as though speaking to a child. “What do you have to lose?”

“Everything I hold dear,” Kamui groaned, burying her head within her hands. Why did this have to be so complicated?

“You young people are so dramatic,” Nyx belittled her, and Kamui only barely bit back a comment on how she herself had acted right before Jakob proposed. Her companion sighed, and reached across the table to gently pat her hand. “You’re a good judge of character. I assure you that whoever has captured your heart will at the very least hear you out. Perhaps he returns you feelings, perhaps he doesn’t. But you will never know if you don’t try.” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

“I sincerely doubt it.” Her tone was airy, but her words were interjected with a demanding noise from her son. His little lips were pressed against her chest as if he were searching for something. Nyx sighed, patting his unruly hair. “But I will speak no more. Dwyer is getting hungry and I’d like to study this book some more before my next clients arrive this afternoon.” 

Kamui nodded, and watched her put the large book into a satchel where she carried Dwyer’s stuff. Jakob had some modest quarters within the castle where she could feed Dwyer, but they resided within the underground city of Windmire where Nyx ran a small but popular fortune telling boutique. Kamui wondered for a second if she would be insulted or pleased if she offered to pay for her services, but in the end, she decided against it. Better to send her home to her husband early a few nights in a row, and grant them a few more precious hours in each other’s company.

“Thank you for coming Nyx, I know you’re busy,” Kamui said before the maid could escort her out of the door. Then a thought came to mind. “Please tell me if Dwyer likes the stories when you accompany me on a refreshing walk once I return from the banquet in Izumo.”

“Ah, the one year anniversary of the end of the war,” Nyx recalled, giving no indication that she understood the deeper meaning behind Kamui’s words in the vicinity of the maid.  “I’d be glad to join you on a walk when you return from your duties.”

“You were invited as well, you know.”

Nyx shook her head. “I have no fondness for formal gatherings with foreign dignitaries. My redemption lies with the people, not those who think they stand above them. I’ll leave that to my husband.” Despite her words, her smile was fond, almost teasing. Before the maid closed the door behind her she made a mock of a curtsy, and added with a devious grin:  “But I suppose they’re not all that bad. King Xander has been a surprisingly good monarch so far, don’t you agree?”

Kamui’s eyes went as wide as saucers, and Nyx laughed one last time. As soon as the door was closed, all that remained in the room was Kamui and the thousand thoughts that assaulted her mind. She slumped against the door. 

To her great shame, her throat clogged up and her heart beat faster at the mere mention of his name. What would he think of her if he saw her like this, what would any of her siblings think?

And yet, Nyx’s words had opened something in her, a voice that demanded to be heard.  _ This too shall pass, _ she told herself firmly, silencing it effectively. 

That night she redoubled her efforts to search for the next Queen of Nohr.  

 

> ##  **_???_ **

 

The first thing he noticed when he climbed out of the window was the smokey scent of grilled meat invading his nostrils, making his stomach rumble. It was not an unfamiliar feeling.

Ms. Cri always said that they should all just stay inside during the night time, but he could never really tell the difference between night and day, other than the fact that he was scolded when he was out of bed at night. She wasn’t scolding him right now, so the boy figured it was okay.

He was hungry, they all were really, so it was nothing new. But yesterday, another little boy was dropped off at their home, crying loudly because stomach was roaring with hunger. Ms. Crimson never turned people away, even though she would always look really sad every time they had to split their food with another person. Every time a new kid showed up, there was a little less to go by, and the clawing in his tummy became worse.

The boy liked the other children. New people meant one more friend to play with, and one more body to share warmth with when the fires went out, and when the bedrooms turned cold. But he didn’t like the growling in his stomach, and today, it was even worse than before. It wasn’t until Ms. Crimson slammed the door behind her that he told a few younger kids to lie for him, and he turned the bedcloth into rope to climb out of the window, down the wall and into the alley.

A magpie was picking away at the trash, and for a second, he wondered if he could maybe sneak up on the bird and catch it. Before he could make up his mind, it flew away. The boy shrugged, and decided to follow his nose instead.

All streets looked alike in the flickering lantern light, but sometimes he could feel something different in the alleys. There was faint music in the air, and some streets were lined with cramped wooden stalls with bright fabric roofings in yellow, red and blue. The normally empty square was full of people, eagerly debating numbers that were to high for the boy to count. But the thing that caught his eye was not the towering adults in shiny metal or the bright colored roofs, but the abundance of food.

Laid out on cloth, the vendors boasted more food than the boy had ever seen in his entire life. Fruits, meat and even strange, unfamiliar green plants that looked tasty, all of it ready for him to take.  Why didn’t Ms. Cri ever take them to this place before? She would never have to look sad again! His mouth watered at the smell of it, and without thinking, he walked to the nearest stand.

The old man behind the wooden table and the gray-haired woman in front of it were talking fast, making big gestures with their hands, and occasionally raising their voice. They sounded like Ms. Cri from time to time, but unlike her, they were smiling. The boy ignored them, and reached out to take some sort of orange apple from the top of the table, standing on his tiptoes to reach it.

But as soon as he wrapped his little hand around his prize, the old man slapped him harshly on the wrist. “Hey! Put that back you little rat!” he yelled with a heavy voice.

The boy raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

The man looked at him like he was stupid. “Did you pay for it?” he demanded with a mean look on his face. The boy didn’t even know what paying was, so he shook his head. “I didn’t think so!”

“Carnellion, please! He’s just a little kid, probably a hungry one by the look of him,” the lady with the gray hair chided the man, putting her hand on his shoulder. She seemed warm and kind, but the boy knew better than to trust strangers, so he shrugged it off.

“We’re all hungry here, ma’am. That’s the harsh reality of it,” the mean man scolded her. He turned back to him, balling his hands up in a fist. “Now, scram! Before I call the guards!”

His tone was scary, and while the boy was the bravest of all his friends, he knew better than to stay within reach of balled fists and yelling adults. He ran as fast as his little feet could carry him back to nearest alley, hiding behind a crate.

For a second, he didn’t dare to look. There was too much food to just leave and return home empty-handed, not when little Rose hadn’t eaten in two days, her stomach rumbling so loud that it kept him up at night. He opened his eyes and peeked around the wooden crate. The gray-haired woman from before stood not too far from him, her eyes squinted as she turned her head left and right. When he caught her eye, she smiled and carefully approached him.

The boy backed away till his back hit the wall. “There you are,” the woman said softly. She kneeled down a few steps away from him so they were eye level. She wasn’t so scary now that she no longer towered over him, especially when she rummaged through her bag and held up an apple. It was redder than anything he had ever seen before.

Carefully, he peeled himself from the wall and snatched the fruit out of her hand. She didn’t get angry when his long nails scraped her hand. She laughed, and it sounded like music. “Just eat up, kid. It’s a gift. But don’t just take food from a stall anymore, okay? Next time, he might actually call the guards, and they won’t care that you’re only a boy.” 

He took an eager bite from the apple, and his eyes grew wide in surprise. It was so fresh and sweet! He’d never tasted anything like this before. When the apple was half-gone, his stomach felt bloated but full for the first time in a very long time. The woman chuckled, and from up close, he could count her wrinkles. She had way more of them than Ms. Cri.

“Who’s your mother, kid? I’ll bring you home,” she said softly, offering him another apple.

The boy took the apple and ignored the pang in his stomach. He had a hunch that Rose or the other kids would like it as much as he did.

The woman patiently waited for an answer, but the boy hesitated for a second. She had given him food, and she was nice to him after that mean man yelled at him. That meant she wasn’t a stranger anymore, right? She was an adult, and if he was going to bring more food to his friends, he might need her help to distract the mean man from behind the table.

“... don’t have a mommy,” the boy eventually said, lisping slightly from the missing tooth in his mouth.

The woman sighed deeply, her smile gone for a split second before she asked, “Then who takes care of you?”

That was an easy question. “Ms. Cri,” the boy said proudly. She always scolded him regardless of what he did, but at the end of the day, she was always there to press a kiss to his forehead when the nightmares became too much. He had no mommy, but as long as she was around, he didn’t need one either.

The old woman looked at him strangely for a second, before she nodded. “Ah, you’re one of Crimson’s orphans, aren’t you? Is that why you were saving half of that piece of fruit?”

He nodded, hiding the fruit behind his back in case she wanted it back.

But instead of taking it from his hands, she offered him another one, and even offered her hand to him. “I knew her sister. Come with me, I’ll bring you home, and maybe see if your friends would also like some food.” Under her breath, she muttered: “It’s not like my husband and son are coming home again to eat with me.”

She looked as sad as Ms. Cri used to look whenever he asked for his mother. He quickly learned never to do that again. He always hugged her tightly whenever the tears spilled out, just like they did now with the gray-haired granny.

She almost dropped her bag when he wrapped his little arms around her leg, patting it reassuringly. The boy hung on until she dried her tears, and he considered it a successful hug when she patted him on his head.

“Oh, don’t mind the ramblings of an old lonely woman, dear. Now, where's that smile?” she said, and offered him her hand. He grasped it firmly, to make sure she knew she wasn’t alone and that he was here to protect her, like one of the knights from Ms. Cri’s stories.

Granny chuckled, and allowed him to lead her to his home.

Once they reached the tumble-down building, Ms. Cri was already waiting for him in front of it with her arms crossed over her chest, and a look that spelled out trouble on her face. Rose clinged to her left leg, tears in her eyes. When he waved at her shyly, she detached herself from Ms. Cri and ran towards him, almost stumbling over her own feet in her eagerness.

He caught her when she launched herself into his arms and buried her face into his chest, bawling her eyes out while apologizing with broken words about ratting him out. Granny smiled, and patted both of them on their head. 

“What did you think you were doing?” Mrs. Cri bellowed as soon as he was within her reach. She softly smacked him on the head, but it didn’t really hurt. What did hurt was the fear hidden beneath her anger, palpable in every move she made. 

The boy lowered his head shamefully, and muttered an apology. Ms. Cri sighed, and ruffled his brown hair affectionately.

Granny chuckled. “Come on now, Crimson. He’s a good lad, only a bit hungry.”

“Aren’t we all?” Ms. Cri sighed deeply, and as though on cue, Rose’s stomach roared loudly.  “Thank you for returning him to me, Mrs. Vermelha. I’m sorry if he was a bother to you.” 

“He wasn’t at all. If anything, he brings back memories of better days,” she said with a nostalgic smile. Granny gaze bounced back and forth between him and Ms. Cri with a strange look in her eyes. “... he looks like her,” she said eventually.

All his life he had heard people say that, but never out in the open. His name was whispered in dark corners and hallways by adults who thought he was too young to hear them. They talked about him as if he were a secret, always with narrowed eyes and hushed voices, looking at him as if he were someone else. The boy squared his shoulders, but Granny’s gaze did not change from her kindness.

He turned to Ms. Cri to see her look over her shoulder, her voice soft as if she was afraid that anyone might hear them. “More with every day, though it would be best to keep that to yourself.”

“You can hide him only for so long. He has her spirit, and it sings out for his people. You can’t contain that forever.” Granny’s smile suddenly turned sad, her voice distant. “Trust me, I tried.”

She looked like she was about to cry, so the boy held on to her hand. The kids in the orphanage always liked it when he did that.

“My sister used to say that your son and husband always belonged to Cheve’s finest,” Ms. Cri sighed, and put a comforting hand on the old lady’s shoulder. “Please, do come in. It’s cold outside, and heavens knows that some of these buildings have ears.”

The old woman smiled gently, and handed Ms. Cri the bag. “Here, it’s not much, but it should feed your kids for another night.” Her eyes went wider than he had ever seen before when she opened it, and the boy figured that there were a lot more apples in there.

“That’s…” she uttered incredulously, a hint of tears misting in her eyes. Ms. Cri gulped, and with a tight, soft voice said:  “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I could do for Scarlet’s son, after what happened to her,” Granny offered with a wrinkly smile.

Ms. Cri’s eyes went wide the second the words were out of her mouth, and she roughly pulled the older lady into the house, hissing: “Don’t say that name out loud!”

He followed them wordlessly. Both women looked at him, but in that way that old people often did when they were not really thinking of him at all. The boy considered her words.  _ Scarlet _ . He had heard that name before, but it always made people angry or sad, especially when they looked at him. Ms. Cri had told him to never mention it in front of anybody but her, and it seemed that that didn’t just go for him.

“I’m sorry, I thought it was common knowledge,” the older woman apologized quickly with a softer voice, her eyes never leaving him. “What’s his name?”

Ms. Cri was about to open her mouth and reply for him, but he had always been quick, so he offered the old lady his hand and smiled brightly at her with stars in his eyes.

“I’m Shiro!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE PERSON GUESSED IT THIS VERY MORNING, CONGRATULATIONS PRIMI! Other than that, so many good (but wrong) suggestions. My favorite one was Anankos. (THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A STORY)
> 
> Also, some plot exposure. Nyx is an interesting, though under appreciated character, don't you think? I went through all of her supports, and formulated a backstory for her. Other than that, I'm formulating the gaping plothole that is the Vallite curse, by giving it boundaries and limitations. I'll admit that I drew some inspiration from the 7th Harry Potter book. I hope you guys liked Nyx, and my explanation! She'll be turning up a bit more later in the story, if you can guess why... (Also writing from a child's point of view is hard!)
> 
> Next Chapter's vague hint: Sakura finally opens her brother's letter, guess what it says?


	13. Echoes of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long overdue! Sorry 'bout that. Prepare for some tears.

> **_Sakura_ **

Sakura kneeled down in front of the replaced tapestries, letting the scent of smoke and incense fill up her lungs until she could no longer keep it in. She exhaled it all out in one liberating breath. In front of her, nothing remained but her brother’s ashes and the sword with which he had taken his own life. She had expected to cry today, for grief to overwhelm her until she could no longer stand, but instead her body and soul were devoid of any emotion, a hollow shell of what it once was. She almost wished she felt pain to fill the emptiness that continued to swallow her whole with every passing day.

Her heart is empty, but her mind felt ready to burst. Now that she’s aware of it, she heard it at every quiet moment. Thoughts that are not quite her own whisper in her ear, sometimes words of comfort, sometimes cruel commandments. The voice is both soft and harsh at the same time, and for the first time in a year, Sakura wished she was alone, today more than any other day.

One year ago on this very day, her brother breathed his last breath in this very room. Until his dying breath, Ryoma had been the perfect samurai and he wouldn’t have wanted her to fight with her family as much as she did, or at least that’s what Yukimura lectured her whenever he had the chance. Ryoma’s death had been his own choice, an honorable decision made by an honorable man for the sake of peace.

But the voice in the back of her mind whispered something else, it cried of murder and vengeance, and as much as Sakura distrusted it, the words rang truer than Yukimura’s prattle if she was being very honest. How many of these whispers were her own thoughts, and how many of them were something else? Or was all of this herself?

She cradled her head in her arms, willing the headache to go away. It was always there now, pressing painfully against her eyes until she could no longer keep them open anymore. But they never remained closed for long, because the second the sweet release of sleep threatened to overcome her, she forced herself to stay awake no matter how tired she was. Sakura rubbed her hands together, feeling her nails dig into her skin. Her hands were clean, not a drop of blood to be found underneath her nails. And yet, no matter how many times she washed them, she could never shake off the phantom feeling of half-dried blood tainting her skin, betraying what she had done.

Elise had quickly ushered her to safety that night, and she had mistaken her shaking hands and wide-eyed shock for fear, but in reality, Sakura had been afraid of only one person that night and that person had been herself. The kunai had safely been hidden in her dress, whatever bloodstains it left behind in the cloth faded away against the deep black fabric. Elise had acted like a medic that night, providing kindness and comfort for her without question. Little did she know that the murderer she was protecting them from was in that same room, sipping her tea with trembling hands. 

Once her sister had gone to sleep and her thoughts were her own again, Sakura had considered confessing her crime. She didn’t remember anything of it, but the howling, vindicated laughter in the back of her mind told her enough. How long had that voice been there? She couldn’t remember when it had started or why, but it had echoed through her every thought ever since, keeping her from speaking up about it.

Even if she’d had the courage and the strength to do so, who would she talk to? Her retainers were dead, murdered by that pointless war, and Takumi had succumbed to a far crueler fate, if Kamui’s words were true. Azura had deserted them years ago, and even after the war, nothing remained of her. Should she speak to Hinoka, who would cart her off to some asylum to protect her in her own strange way? To King Xander, who would have her executed for murder despite that he harbored a castle full of them?

Or to Elise, who would stop smiling at her if she knew exactly what kind of person she was bestowing her kindness upon?

_ No _ , the voice agreed,  _ it would be best not to tell anyone at all. It was their own fault for taunting her anyway, and it was hardly right to start another international incident over something as petty as a few dead maids. _

Sakura shook her head quickly, willing the whispers away. She took a deep breath and cleared her mind. When she opened her eyes again, she was alone in the room again.

In front of her, Raijinto rested on a stand, waiting patiently for the next Hoshidan royal worthy of wielding it. When she was still very young and eager to hear stories about a father she had never known, Ryoma had told her that the sword picked its wielder the second the previous one left this earth. It was a mythical weapon, and they tended to be somewhat fickle. She knew little of Brynhildr and Siegfried, but she remembered the many hours it had taken Takumi to make the arrows of light awaken under his touch. The wood had molded to his hand from the moment he touched it, but it wasn’t until the winds of winter swept through his hair that the arrows followed. The Raijinto was more resolute: according to Ryoma, only its chosen wielder could unsheathe it, feel the crackle of lightning in the palm of its hand.

The Fujin Yumi remained lifeless within Sakura’s tainted hands, and Hinoka couldn’t draw a single spark from the blade, let alone take it from its sheathe. After everything that happened in Nohr, Sakura had been too afraid to touch it at all.

Until today, that was. From between the folds of her kimono, Sakura drew the letter Elise had entrusted her with. She’d almost forgotten about it at first until they returned to Hoshido and a servant retrieved it from her luggage. After that, the courage to open it simply had fled her. But today was the anniversary of her brother’s death, and if she couldn’t read his last words to her today, then it would never happen.

The paper was stained with a few drops of blood, most likely from when Ryoma had given it to Elise. A samurai’s death was drawn-out and painful, and it gave her a little bit of comfort to know that Elise had been there to ease his passing. Carefully, she broke the seal, her heart beating in her throat.

The envelope opened to reveal a carefully written letter, written in ancient Hoshidan kanji that only those who had dedicated many hours of painstaking studying could read. A memory of a summer long past returned to her, when her brother had sat down with her and showed her how to press the brush against the paper to make these intricate signs. She could still smell the scent of black Hoshidan ink and she remembered Ryoma’s warm laughter when she accidentally spilled some on her bright pink kimono.

She wiped the single tear from her cheek before it could fall on Ryoma’s letter and ruin it. His handwriting was elegant and unhurried, and Sakura wondered how long Ryoma knew that he might not see the end of the war.

His words were polite but kind, asking her to forgive him for failing to protect their home country from Nohr, and most of all, their family from falling apart. He spoke of how he was unsure of what happened to Takumi and Hinoka, and that while he hoped for the best, he had to prepare her for the worst in case she would have to take up the white throne in his stead. Sakura swallowed as he carefully detailed policies of forgiveness and fairness, of putting her people above herself, even if it hurt. 

What hurt the most was his own apology that he could not have done the same, knowing that he had died feeling inadequate, while Sakura would always consider him the most honorable man she had ever known. Hinoka tried her hardest to be a good queen, but she wasn’t raised for it, hadn’t dedicated every waking thought to the benefit of the throne. Had she known he’d harbored such insecurities, she would have told him how amazing he was, but it was all too late now.

She turned the letter around, prepared to find more apologies and instructions, but there were none. All that remained was one last secret and one final request.

_ Sakura, I have made many mistakes in my life, and I will apologize for all of them but one. As you know, I aided the resistance in Chevois even before the war started. Originally, I only infiltrated as a common Hoshidan samurai, hoping to learn more about the local resistance in order to bring down Nohr from within. I expected a ragtag band of former criminals, but instead I found a neatly organized group of respectable knights fighting for those who could, led by perhaps the most noble of them all. Her name was Scarlet, and from the moment we crossed blades, I knew I was in love. Her name was Scarlet. _

_ Had I been a the paragon of virtue my men believed me to be, I would have known that my feelings were inappropriate and misplaced in a woman so dedicated to a greater Nohr. I would have stopped myself from pursuing her. But I was weak and dazzled by her radiance. She knew nothing of my title or blood, and yet she returned my feelings without hesitation. It wasn’t long before I found myself dedicating every waking moment to her and her cause, and before the end of the year, she was with child. _

_ I only told mother, and she intended to quietly ship Scarlet off to Hoshido before any international conflict could arise. But Scarlet would not abandon her beloved country in the face of extreme odds, and definitely not because she was with child. In the end, Kamui returned and was taken from us before a decision could be reached, and the war with Nohr was official. In the wake of the war, I had a duty to my country that prevented me from being with her and my unborn child as much as I wished I could. In the summer of that same year, our child was born. His name is Shinonome, born on the twenty-second of the eighth month, a healthy baby boy with my hair and Scarlet’s spirit. The day I received the news, you asked me why I was smiling so much. Were we not at war? Oh, how dearly I wanted to tell you that day. But after mother’s death, only Orochi and Reina knew of him. It was unwise to put too much attention on Scarlet and my son lest he become a political prisoner to Garon, so I kept my silence and sent mother’s old retainers to protect them in my stead. _

_ You must have heard of the cruel fate the resistance was met with a mere year later. Scarlet was honorable till the end, and she received no mercy, despite our sister’s wishes. There is not a day that goes by that I do not wonder if I would have made a difference if I had been there. If Nohr claims my life today, I hope the gods will be merciful and allow me to join her in the night sky. If not, I hope they will at least grant me a place next to her murderers in eternal damnation so I can spit on them and punish them in the afterlife like I could not in this one. _

_ Scarlet would have never abandoned her home, but she did hide our son from Nohr. Even today, he is somewhere in Cheve, protected by a name I don’t even know. I have tried to steal him away time and again, but Cheve has been under tight security ever since the uprising. In the end, his anonymity has protected him most. Had Nohr known that a prince of Hoshido resided under their nose, I fear he would have met the same fate as Kamui, or worse, Scarlet. _

_ My only regret is that I waited so long to share this news with all of you. It was for his protection, but in my final hours, I regret not being able to tell you about the little constellation shaped freckles that dust his cheeks or the way his hair defies all laws of nature. But time is short, and I have but one final request of you, not as your first prince, but as a humbled father. Please, as soon as the dust of war has settled, collect my son from Cheve. Take him in, teach him our ways, and let him know that he is loved. He might be all that remains of me. _

_ Scarlet and I may not have been married, but she was the only woman I have ever loved. Within my private documents, I have left a document that formally acknowledges Shinonome as my son and only heir, along with a few letters for when he comes of age. _

_ My apologies, sister, for burdening you with the failings of a dead man. I hope I will never have to give you this letter, and that the next time we meet, it will be with all of our siblings, and my son as well. If not, I will wait for you in the afterlife. _

_ Love, _

_ Your brother Ryoma. _

 

Sakura read the letter four times. It was impossible, and yet, Ryoma’s strange change in demeanor shortly after Takumi returned from Cheve suddenly made sense. He had been reckless to the point of suicidal for a few months until he settled into a grim restlessness that followed him for the rest of his days. They had thought it was a consequence of the war and the strain of being the informal leader of a country. But she also remembered the summer before that when he seemed to glow with delight for reasons unknown to everyone. The war had just started, and patriotism and nationalism made many men burst out in song, and that might have been the explanation at the time. Only now did she remember that when anyone asked Ryoma, he would only smile mysteriously and tell them that the stars were in their favor. Such an odd thing to say, the court had whispered, but he had never been around long enough for it to matter. There were battles to be fought, a country to be protected.

In the end, he had chosen duty over family and died for Hoshido. It made sense that this final letter was written in the oldest and most difficult of Hoshidan languages: only a dedicated scholar could have deciphered the hidden truth within these ancient kanji, and the very few who possessed such talent were all in service of the Royal Family. Not even Hinoka could read these words, and certainly not some Nohrian Scholar. Even if Elise hadn’t kept her word and opened the letter herself, it would have taken years to find out the truth. By that time, Ryoma’s son would at least have had a fighting chance.

She repeated the words again in her mind. _Ryoma’s son. Shinonome of Hoshido, rightful heir to the throne._ _Family_. A warm feeling spread through Sakura, filling her with hope and love in ways that she hadn’t felt since mother died, hadn’t even considered herself capable of anymore.

_ Shinonome _ , she thought to herself, almost too afraid to speak the words out loud before it would all be revealed to be an illusion that crumbled the second she held it between her hands. They no longer trembled when she took the Raijinto from its stand. It remained lifeless in her hands, but she had not expected anything else. It did not belong to her, nor to Hinoka. For the first time in since spring, Sakura’s smile threatened to break out of her skin, tears of happiness falling down her cheeks. She bowed deeply, the sword still resting within her palms, thanking her brother from the bottom of her heart. When she rose again, there were no tears in her eyes, nor a void in her chest. Instead she was filled with determination, her every step betraying her new purpose.

Tomorrow, she would not join her sister in their trek to Izumo, she would not attend the state banquet to celebrate the one year anniversary of the peace. Instead she would depart this night, with only a few trusted servants at her side to aid her, using the cover of festivity to travel abroad. Even though she could not enter Nohr discreetly, she still would have gone. The power that swirled within her made her feel invincible, and even if the entire Nohrian army stood between her and her nephew, she would still have gone.

All her worries vanished, and so had her headache. Shinonome, she thought with a smile, and hurried to prepare for her trip, the Raijinto firmly gripped between her fingers.

_ Ryoma’s son, _ the voice echoed delightfully.  _ Entrusted to her, and her alone. This family would not be taken away from her, she would ensure. No matter what. _

 

> **Xander**

 

The light of the chandelier was barely enough to keep him awake. It must have been at least four in the morning, if not later. But Xander was no stranger to all nighters, and staying up to review documents was nothing compared to fighting from dusk till dawn. At least in Nohr, the morning sun would not come out to taunt him, reminding him of his lack of sleep.

He rubbed his eyes and tried to read the paragraph for the fourth time without really processing what it said. The report from the northernmost province bore the same bad news as all the others: thanks to the food provided by Hoshido during the winter, an unparalleled amount of people had survived the harsh cold, causing further food shortages. Xander reminded himself to send a letter to Queen Hinoka asking to increase the volume of their trade deal. If the excess laborers could be relocated to work in the coal mines in Treebeek, he would be able to provide Hinoka with enough material in return. He still remembered his visit a while back during winter where he had met an eccentric woman who rarely, if ever, took off her goggles even in the presence of her own king. Her name was Eirika, a short but nimble woman who stumbled over her words in excitement while she explained to him how her machine not only drained the water from the mineshaft, but also helped the miners mine coal at an alarmingly fast rate. She even created a transportation system using iron rails and a cart. “Simple, but a great relief for their poor backs,” she’d told him when she took him into the mines. 

The shafts were narrow and it was pitch dark down there, but the woman told him that they were trying to fix that as well. While he hit his head against the support beams time and again, she walked the paths as if it were her home. Later he learned that she was the daughter of a former miner who had died during a flooding. Ever since then, she and her brother vowed to make the mines a safer place: Eirika from the outside with her machines, and Ephraim from the inside with his own two hands, inspecting shafts and reinforcing beams whenever needed. That Eirika had managed to create an unparalleled profit seemed unimportant to her in the light of her own technological advancements, and when he asked her how he could reward her, all she requested was more resources to continue her work.

He left the mines with a heavy heart. Yes, they were the future of Nohr. The populace was used to living underground where the toxic fumes didn’t affect one's lungs too badly, but this place was too cramped to keep anyone sane for long. And yet, what alternatives did he have? His people were hungry, and Eirika’s prototype for an agricultural machine would not be operational for another few more years, if it would ever become successful at all. Until then, they were forced to trade coal for food, even if the process of getting the ore was dangerous.

Xander sighed deeply, massaging his temples. Should he sign the relocation order? People would not be pleased to be forced out of their homes, but their labor was needed elsewhere, and he could hardly employ the academy of Magi to transport them daily from their work to their homes. The task was daunting and would exhaust them completely, halting all magical advancements in the country. And yet, he still hesitated.

Suddenly, a gentle voice pulled him out of reverie. “You look restless, brother.”

Xander regretted giving Camilla unlimited access to his rooms. Her purple hair was braided for the night, and she looked like she had just woken up herself, still rubbing the remnants of sleep from her eyes. It reminded him of when they were small and she would come to him in the dead of the night, afraid of one monster or another hiding under her bed.

“And you look as radiant as ever, Camilla,” he echoed with some sarcasm.

His sister rolled her eyes. “No thanks to you, Xander,” she complained while dragging a chair next to his, and draping herself on top of it. “While you enjoy Izumo’s famous hot springs, I’ll be wasting away in this dreadful court. Can’t Leo stay here instead?”

He sighed and put his quill down. He should have known that she would try to persuade him one last time before they left in the morning, but she should know better: once his mind was set, there was no changing it. “He specifically requested  to join me on this mission, and he and Kamui have acted as regents on my behalf every other time I’ve been away. As the eldest princess, you truly shouldn’t be complaining.”

Camilla twirled a lock of hair between her fingers, unfazed by his stern words. “Not all of us were born for ruling, brother dear.”

“Not all of us, perhaps. But you would have been a wonderful queen if fate had been crueler to me.” It was the same age-old argument between them, the only thing that had prevented him from naming her formally as his heir, and the one thing they would always disagree on, although the issue was never brought up outside of the privacy of his study.

Camilla’s smile darkened. “Father always warned us against speaking about things we knew nothing about,” she said with a silky voice, her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Of all of his counsel, this is perhaps one you should heed.”

For a second, Xander considered letting the issue rest as he normally would, but he was tired and irritated, unable to keep himself from saying what was on his mind. “I’ve never understood your doubts in your ability to rule. You’ve led half an army during the war, and each and every one of your soldiers praised you for your leadership.”

Camilla was as caring as she was ruthless, decisive at all the right times. She wouldn’t be up all night just to decide whether or not to send more people into the mines, she would weigh the pros and the cons, make the decision, and take a spa day. Now, if only she could see how wonderful she was, he would sleep better as well instead of having councilors hound him on the subject of succession and heirs every other day. 

But as always, she did not see it that way. “Leading an army and leading a nation during peacetime are hardly the same, Xander.”

“I know, better than anyone else.”

“Then why do you insist upon putting me into positions I’m unfit for? I will always have your back, but I’m hardly worthy of the crown on my head, let alone father’s.”

“And he was?” The words were out of his mouth before he could think about it, but they were true nonetheless. Now that he was king, he could truly see the damage his father’s long rule had done to the country, the lives he had indirectly damaged beyond repair. Even if he worked day and night, Nohr still had many years to go until it became the nation that he and Camilla had dreamed of late at night under the safety of their blanket fort while their mothers fought a silent war two stories down.

“Xander…” Camilla’s voice broke over the two syllables of his name, and he remembered why he didn’t speak with his siblings about their father. “In the end, he was still our father. You should not speak ill of the dead.”

“Was he really our father? I don’t know… I don’t know anything anymore,” Xander admitted with a heavy voice, avoiding Camilla’s eyes. “When did he stop being the father we knew, and turned into that… thing?” 

“I… but he loved us. Maybe not at the end, but I remember…” She didn’t need to say it, for they shared the memories of riding their father’s wyvern together, the wind in their hair and the sound of their father’s generous laughter in the air. He couldn’t even remember the last time  was  he’d heard that sound.

Did it matter? What was done was done, his father was dead and all that remained was his legacy of mistakes, resting heavily on his shoulders.

_ No _ , he thought while looking at the pained expression on Camilla’s face.  _ Not just his shoulders. _

Two weeks from now was the anniversary of the peace treaty, which meant that today was exactly one year ago that he had driven a sword through his own father’s slimy remains. The time for grieving was long past, and it was time to start fixing what remained of his family, starting with the precious sister in front of him, crippled by the hidden scars of her own past. 

Xander raised his voice, and turned away, forcing the words out of his mouth. “Father never said so, but it’s time I do so instead: you are worthy of this throne, and I consider you my equal in power.” He didn’t turn to Camilla to see her react, didn’t need to, the sharp intake of breath betrayed surprise, and he wasn’t sure he could handle the emotions he would find on her face. When she said nothing, he continued with a softer voice. “Sometimes I wonder if Nohr needs your loving hand over my cold one.” 

Camilla said nothing for a very long time. Her breath hitched once or twice, but Xander kept observing the cloudy morning sky out of his window, allowing her enough privacy to hide any tears she might shed.

Then she put a hand on his shoulder and forced him to look at her.  “My love is rich of both honey and venom, Xander,” she said with a low voice, reminding him eerily of a woman he had met only a handful of times, known for her sugary sweet words and not the dagger she hid underneath her dress. “I detest court, where people are game pieces on a board and a family is shattered on the ground by velvet gloved hands without an ounce of shame. I may excel at it as much as my mother did, but I do  _ not  _ enjoy the play of power like she did.”

_ Ah _ , Xander thought.  _ So there is the reason for her reluctance.  _

Save for her height and eye color, Camilla was almost an echo of her mother.  _ And who would want to be a reflection of an executed criminal?  _ “It isn’t like that anymore, Camilla.”

Camilla shook her head softly. “No, our mothers are long dead and buried, unable to put a cup of poisoned wine in our hands and ask us to serve it to our siblings. But I can still feel their eyes on me, forever haunting me within these halls.”

She straightened her back, as if reprimanded by a ghost of the past Xander would never be able to see. His own mother had died young, but she was remembered for her prowess in battle as well as her kindness. Her name was spoken with admiration while Camilla’s mother’s was scrapped from all records, only whispered with contempt in dark alleyways. Even now, speaking her name felt like a curse: Magnolia of House Purpur, the first concubine of King Garon. 

She had changed the court for worse, starting what would later be dubbed the concubine wars. That time was long past, but only three of his six siblings remained to deal with her legacy. 

Xander sighed deeply. “If you are truly so haunted by this place, then why haven’t you left? There are plenty of other positions for you to take, and you have refused them all.”

“Because I am more than just my mother’s daughter. She made sure of that when she gave me a permanent reminder of how easily loyalty can break,” Camilla answered with steel in her tone, almost casually pulling away the lock of purple hair that covered the scars that rendered her eye useless. Xander instantly regretted his words, but it was already too late. “It is not that I can’t wield power. I know how to win a man’s attention with the flick of my wrist, how to ensure a woman’s loyalty with a few gentle words. I can play the game of power, and I can play it well. I’ve held that chalice in my hand, and convinced our youngest brother to drink from it with a few sweet words and a gentle smile. And for a few seconds, I was going to let him do it to let my mother win.”

Her hands were trembling, every word falling out more frantically than the previous one, rambling into the night until her tears fell one by one from her eyes. As the night wore on, Camilla painfully detailed how she had watched her mother mix herbs into potions, slowly but surely poisoning a poor maid till her death could be blamed on a long period of illness just to test the formula. Tears continued to fall, but Camilla could not stop.

Xander took one stride and took her into his arms, holding her close while she confessed all of her sins to him, knees trembling against his while she wept and wept until her voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper.

He pressed her close against his chest, feeling her cling to him while he cursed his own powerlessness. He’d been oblivious back then, protected by his father’s favor and childhood naivety. Camilla and Leo had not been so lucky.

His sister clung to his shirt as if he were the only thing keeping her standing while he whispered reassurances into her ear. “But you didn’t, and Leo is alive while she is not.”

“I-I….” Camilla hiccuped into his shirt, but he didn’t let her finish.

“No, you saved him, remember? You made him spit up the drink and testified against your own mother in court.”

Camilla stepped out of his embrace and dried her tears into her nightgown, but the bright splotches of color on her face remained, outlining the white scar tissue in painful clarity. 

Xander guided her into his own chair and handed her a lukewarm cup of tea, urging her to drink it. “It takes more strength to oppose the people we love than to win a war, and if I had learned that lesson earlier, then this war wouldn’t have claimed as many lives as it did.”

“I saved him, but only after I doomed him. If I had truly been powerful, I would have drunk the poison myself that day,” Camilla said after a few sips, her voice still raw from crying. 

“Don’t say that! You were a child!” Xander exclaimed with wide eyes.

But Camilla’s eyes remained devoid of light, her hands clutching the cup of tea like a lifeline. “I was old enough to understand what I did and what would happen to Leo. And yet, I didn’t stop it until the cup was against his lips. What kind of sister does that?”

“One that had no choice,” Xander retorted, but the small fake smile on her face betrayed the fact that she remained unconvinced. “Camilla, nobody resents you for it. We understand, you know that right? Leo has forgiven you.”

Camilla sighed deeply, wiping away a single tear that threatened to escape from her eye again. “Maybe he has, but I haven’t forgiven me. I don’t think I should. And that’s why I remain here.”

“To punish yourself?”

She shook her head. “No, to ensure that what remains of our family never has to go through that again. I am a sum of Leo, Elise and Kamui. Of Selena and Beruka. Of gentle Kaze and steadfast Silas. And of you, my dear brother, who loves me despite everything I’ve done,” she finished with a gentle, genuine smile. Xander took her hand in his and squeezed it briefly. “I am more than what she made of me, and for all of what you’ve made me today, I stay here in Krakenburg.”

He could hear the ‘but’ in her voice before she finished her sentence.“But…?”

“But not forever. One day, when the lands are calm and the crown on your head no longer makes you crumble beneath its weight, when our siblings are able to live and love the way they wish without shame, I will retire from court.”

There was something hopeful in the way her voice hitched, a look on her face he hadn’t seen in such a long time, and Xander almost felt guilty. 

“There will be never be a Queen Camilla the first. There is no better way I can pay my mother back for the gift she gave me,” she finished with a dark chuckle.

Xander had been raised to put his duty to his people before his own feelings. As crown princess, Camilla was expected to do the same. But was he not King now? If he couldn’t change the rules to grant his tormented sister a little bit of happiness, then who could? It was time to put his own selfish desire to keep his family close in favor of the greater good.

“If that’s your wish, then I won’t stop you when the time comes,” Xander allowed gently, and Camilla nodded, squeezing his hand affectionately. “But the Nohr of our dreams has not yet arrived, and I can’t do it without you.”

“And I’ll be at your side until it does,” Camilla promised. For a moment, it didn’t seem like such an impossible dream anymore. He’d always been stronger with his siblings at his side.

Camilla dried the last of her tears and focused her eyes on the paperwork in front of her. “Now, is there any way I can help you speed up the process?”

Xander nodded, putting the documents into a neat pile with the most pressing matters on top. “You could take a look at these local reports while I try to catch a few hours of sleep, or else I might fall off my horse during the journey.”

A positively devilish smile appeared on Camilla’s tearstained face, her voice teasing. “Oh my, we can’t have that. What would Kamui say?”

“Never mind her, what about the rest of court?” Xander fought to keep the surprise from showing on his face and quickly tried to change the subject. 

But Camilla would have none of it, and he felt her eyes burning into his own. “Don’t think I didn’t see the way you look at her brother, or the way you two danced.” 

“There’s nothing inappropriate between us, Camilla, I can assure you,” Xander replied curtly, fixing his dress shirt to keep his hands busy.

“I never doubted that. She’s always been terrible at keeping secrets, and her feelings are plainly written on her face,” Camilla replied nonchalantly, probably knowing that her words would get to him.

That caught Xander off guard. “She… what?”  _ Feelings? What kind of feelings? _

But his questions died on his lips before he could ask them, and Camilla shooed him out of his own office. “Go. Get some sleep. I’ll play nice and warm your throne while you’re gone, but only if you promise to talk to her about it sometime soon.”

Xander felt an embarrassed blush rise to his cheeks. “Camilla…” He wasn’t a child to be pushed around! 

But Camilla was relentless, and ushered him out of the door with as much ease as a swing of her axe. She had always been deceptively strong, and his sleep-exhausted body could hardly put up a fight. “No, don’t ‘Camilla’ me. I’m regent now, so it’s an order.”

“I’m regretting my decision to make you regent already.”

The sadistic smile Camilla flashed him before she closed the door behind him was strangely akin to Leo’s retainer. “Good, that was my intention.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go, a lot of hints of backstories. I hope all of you enjoyed this a little, and sorry I've been gone for a month. I had a lot of other fandom related things, like the game, two ship weeks of which I am a mod, and some personal stuff. I'll be focusing on this story for nanowrimo, so I'll be more than making up for it. (sorry Abby)
> 
> Anyway, next chapter will be a party, and we'll start to have more revelation crossover, though with a TFK twist. Can you guess what my favorite conquest chapter is (storywise)?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my latest large project! Special thanks to @arihime, @mairbelles and @2goldensnitches, for being a beacon of knowledge, the very best beta and the inspiration of this fic respectively. We’re in for the long run, guys. Let me know what you think! As always, for more info, drop a line or go to my tumblr. Please don't leave spoilers for fates, I haven't finished Revelations yet!


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